FighterSacrifice
by LadyMisaga
Summary: The prequel to Loveless or Not?
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless, I am only burrowing the characters for creative purposes.**

**_Fighter/Sacrifice  
_**

**_Prologue  
_**

_Was it fate, was it that he tried for so long to deny what was going on, or was it his lack of strength? _

_Why was it that everything was crumbling around him, why did he feel so helpless to stop it? _

_What is fate anyway, destiny, who gives a damn about the heavens and what was preordained to happen? _

_Well, he did, now that everything he had nightmares about happening had finally happened and that fate crap had kicked him in the gut, slapped him in the face, and left him paralyzed.  
_

He finally opened his violet, glazed eyes, though very grudgingly, he would have preferred to sleep peacefully, but his thoughts would give him no peace at all. He sat up from his spot on his twin bed in his small room. His black hair curtaining his pale, slender, almost girlish face as he hung his head. His hair had a violet tint to it, his build had become more defined over the past four years and his hair had grown to grace his shoulder blades. He knew he needed a haircut, but he often found himself not caring or liking the long hair as it helped to shield his face at times.

There was the sound of footsteps coming towards his room that made his violet and catlike ears stand up attentively and his head turned to his bedroom door. He flinched involuntarely when the footsteps stopped outside his door and a knock was heard.

"Ritsuka, I made dinner for you."

He sighed and swung his legs over on the side of his bed, "Hai, arigato."

He heard her turn and walk back down the stairs then he stood up. In the past few years more than his hair had grown. Before he had a lot of feminine traits and was more slender. He was still slim, but there was a light tone of muscle to his figure and his shoulders and back had grown to more of a masculine build. He still had slim hips and his tail moved behind him, the same color as his hair and ears, in a bored and unconcious way.

He adjusted the long sleeved black shirt he was accustomed to wearing and walked across the room. He had somehow taken to wearing fitting dark purple slacks, but this outfit was more fit for his depressing days. Days when nightmares would haunt his sleep and wake him up to endless circles of thoughts. This had begun a short time after his brother's faked death and the arrival of his brothers' fighter, Soubi Agatsuma.

Ever since he had figured out that mysterious memo, well that haunting dream had haunted him. He would wake from reliving the dream thinking everyone was gone. It never helped when Septimal Moon sent more pairs after them that had taken to kidnapping or bringing harm to his or Soubi's friends.

The now sixteen year old sacrifice made his way to his door and walked quietly to the kitchen to eat a silent dinner with his insane mother who was trying very hard today to keep her sanity. Another long day coming to an end only to start another one.

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_Please review. Thanks for reading._


	2. Ch 1: Thoughts

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**_

_**Thoughts . . .  
**_

Thoughts, now that was something that did nothing but cause problems. But he couldn't actually avoid them. So of course, now he was thinking, he should have been paying attention to the teacher going on about math or science, or whatever class he had right now.

_I wonder how long it will take for them to arrive this time? The last two pairs were only four days apart. They continuously try to kill Soubi and then kidnap me and take me to that damn school. When in the hell will they get that I don't like their idea of what a sacrifice and a fighter is? They are such idiots, it's been four damn years now, and of course I am no longer this inexperienced little kid anymore, and Soubi is, well Soubi. Everytime they show up they end up loosing, why can't they just leave us be? This is so damn irritating. Four years ago, not only had I believed Seime was dead, but Soubi shows up, the pairs, the Zero's, the school, all the hell of meeting Seime again and finding out the nasty truth of my once beloved brother, now for the time since then, their damn pairs hunting us._

He was dragged out of his thoughts by the teacher calling his name, "Aoyagi-kun, will you please pay attention?"

Ritsuka looked up and nodded, "Hai, gomen Sensei."

Soubi leaned against the wall that surrounded the perimeter of Ritsuka's high school smoking a cigarette lesiurely. His cell phone went off in his pocket and he looked at the name before answering it.

"Yes Kio?"

On the other end his hyperactive, over reactive best friend said in a frantic, high pitched voice; "Yes Kio, Sou-chan this isn't school you idiot, we have to have this work done by tomorrow. Where are you?"

Soubi sighed and took a long drag from his cigarette, "I am waiting for Ritsuka, don't worry Kio we will finish on time."

Kio shrieked, "You are waiting for Ritsuka, Sou-chan, you should spend time with people your own age you hentai."

"Kio, I'm not a hentai," then he hung up the phone and replaced it in his pocket. By the time he had smoked three cigarette's in a row Ritsuka, Yaiyo, and Yuiko came walking towards him. Yuiko's cheerful hello was heard as she ran towards him gleefully. Yaiyo ran after her as Ritsuka walked calmly towards him with his usual indifferent expression.

Soubi greeted Yuiko and Yaiyo before turning to look at Ritsuka with a small smile on his face, "Ritsuka, hello."

Ritsuka glanced at him and walked past him without a word before stopping a few steps past the walls boundaries. He turned and nodded to Yuiko and Yaiyo, "See you tomorrow." Yuiko gave her usual energetic goodbye before dragging Yaiyo in the opposite direction as he tried to say goodbye as well. Soubi followed after Ritsuka not fully concerned with his cold nature towards him today.

Ritsuka unconciously made his way to the bus stop that he usually rode home everyday since the high school was too far to walk from his house. When the bus arrived they silently boarded and Ritsuka sat on the bench in the middle of the bus close to the door. Soubi stood leaned against the door and the bench where Ritsuka sat lost in thought.

Ritsuka let out a soft sigh, _These thoughts are going to make me paranoid, why do I keep circling back to those damn nightmares all of a sudden? Is it about to happen, is what I saw really going to happen, why are they just becoming so vivid and realistic lately, they haven't been this strong since the first time. Why do I feel a knot in my stomach, this nearly suffocating bad feeling?_

Soubi watched Ritsuka closely, though making certain he didn't look as though he was concerned about the stressed look on his face or how tense Ritsuka appeared to be. He was about to ask what was bothering him when they both felt a sharp pain in their minds indictaing a fighter and their sacrifice.

Ritsuka got to his feet adjusting his bookbag, the same type he had in grade school and middle school. Ritsuka's eyes scanned the bus, but they weren't on the bus. The two silently got off at the next stop and backtracked in the direction they felt the pressense. Ritsuka had become prone to sensing the strength of the fighter and their sacrifice as well as their location. It was through the years of the two of them being hunted like dogs and threatened. All the fighting had also hardened his heart to a point where he felt no sympathy for those they defeated, though he was still against killing, unneccesary fights, and physical fighting. His innocence was still present in some ways, but he knew more than most his age and he was no longer oblivious to what was going on around him. He knew his mother was insane, knew that her alter ego wanted to hurt him because she believed he wasn't her son. He knew his father could care less if he and his mother were alive at all. He also came to terms with the fact that his once idolized and adored elder brother was a sadistic, obsessive, possessive, controlling, prick.

It was through this revelation that he came to know Soubi better, figure out why he lied, his dark secrets, why he could be so cold, why he could whisper words of love and death in one breath. He also discovered why Soubi wouldn't talk about Septimal Moon, it was never a couldn't, he wouldn't because he wanted to forget about his experience there. That of course, angered Ritsuka that the same school Soubi detested sent their students after them all the time.

This time it had only taken three days to send another pair, this time another pair of experimental Zero's, more like androids than the last pair. They were truly immune to physical damage, the temperature change was ineffective, so on Ritsuka's orders Soubi destroyed them internally. It was a semi-long fight and Ritsuka had sustained a few injuries, but only needle-like slashes aross his arms and a single line across his left cheekbone.

Today Ritsuka was wearing his navy blue uniform and had a black t-shirt under the standard blue jacket and white, button up, long sleeved shirt. The sleeves were cut up where the slashes were. Soubi was in his usual khaki jacket, his loose shirt blue today, and his khaki pants. He was looking at Ritsuka, and seeing as how Ritsuka knew him well, he could see the concerned look behind the glasses and in his piercing blue eyes.

Ritsuka scoffed and dusted his clothes off as he turned to walk away from the unconcious pair twenty or so feet from them.

"I'm fine Soubi."

Soubi nodded and followed him falling in step behind him, "Hai."

Ritsuka stopped after they exited the alley where the fight had been and turned his gaze up to the sky. It was nearly dusk and there were clouds moving across the sun in a vain attempt to block it out. He headed back towards the bus stop where they had gotten off and then continued towards his house.

He said indifferently over his shoulder to Soubi, "You can return home if you wish Soubi."

Soubi smirked at him as he gazed the few inches down at the top of Ritsuka's head, "Hai, but I wish to accompany you home." He added a tender scratch behind Ritsuka's right cat ear which made Ritsuka shudder lightly. But one thing that Soubi was grateful Ritsuka had recently grown out of doing was flinching or backing away from his touch. There were even times when Ritsuka instigated them or kissed him without provacation.

When Soubi lowered his hand to take hold of Ritsuka he was slightly suprised when Ritsuka calmly pulled his hand away and then put them both in his pockets. Soubi gazed up at the sky to shield the acute hurt in his eyes and noticed that the clouds had grown and were darkening, it looked as though it would rain soon. Ritsuka stopped when they came past his grade school.

Soubi stopped a step behind him having sensed the uneasieness in Ritsuka, this was another reason they often took the bus to his house. The once lively school had burnt to the ground shortly after Ritsuka's last year at the school. It had occured during the summer break and both of them had known it was Seime's doing. He had even cruely written on the wall of Ritsuka's old classroom, "Ritsuka, why have you betrayed me?" There were a few students and teachers that were injured at the time, present for summer clubs and seminars. His innocent and sweet teacher, Shinohome-sensei had been one out of the two unfortunate ones to die in the fire. The other was a shocked student that had locked themselves in the second floor classroom. They had fallen to their deaths, but his sensei had burned to death having not died from the fall. She had been trying to save the students life and was honored for her bravery during her funeral.

Ritsuka took a deep shuddering breath and pressed on, this time allowing the comforting gesture of Soubi taking his hand as they continued on. They came up to his house and Ritsuka cringed when he heard the sound of his mother breaking things in the house and shouting things like, "My son is never late coming home . . . My Ritsuka doesn't look like him . . . My Ritsuka isn't that tall . . . "

Soubi grimaced and tried to say something but Ritsuka cut him off, "Arigatou Soubi, see you later." He pulled his hand away and walked up to his door. Soubi stopped him by grabbing his wrist and turning him around to face him.

He locked eyes with Ritsuka and could see past his defenses easily, he was troubled. Ritsuka averted his gaze to the side and Soubi tightened his hold on his wrist, "Ritsuka, what is wrong?"

Ritsuka tried to pull away, but Soubi wouldn't let him go. Ritsuka glared at him, "Nothing, let go of me."

Soubi met his glare, "Tell me what is wrong Ritsuka."

Ritsuka huffed, "Nothing is wrong Soubi, now let me go and go home." Soubi was forced to let go by the demanding and anger laced tone of Ritsuka's voice. Soubi then said to Ritsuka as he turned to open his front door, "Skidaiyo, Ritsuka."

Ritsuka huffed and disappeared into his house slamming the door behind him. Soubi reluctantly turned and walked towards the bus stop to go home. They were connected strongly enough for Ritsuka to trully order him. Though at times Soubi cursed the control Ritsuka had over him. The time he had spent with Ritsuka had helped him develope a sense of self and will. He could think for himself and didn't feel inadequate without a controlling and sadistic master. He had even gotten used to living with a will, dreams, and thoughts of his own, independence. But Ritsuka had gotten used to commanding him and did so when it came to making sure Soubi didn't get into serious trouble, to prevent him from killing fighters and sacrifices, fighting on his own, and of course what he had done tonight. Forcing Soubi not to get involved in his home life or guestion him too much about anything.

It was ironic to say the least, Soubi used to hide behind lies, half turths, and never say or portray his true intentions. He had become more direct, wasn't allowed to lie to Ritsuka, could no longer manipulate Ritsuka or decieve him much, and had told all to his younger sacrifice. But Ritsuka never told him much, avoided letting him into his life, hid much from him, and told half truths if he answered anything at all. Not only had Ritsuka become withdrawn, he was even less social than before, to a point where he hardly spent any time with Yuiko and Yaiyo, and avoided being alone with Soubi other than for battles. Soubi knew the unspoken truth of his mother's violence turning for the worst, knew the endless fighting had made Ritsuka cold and his heart hardened, and that Ritsuka blamed himself for what had happened at the school.

But, Soubi couldn't think of a way to help him at all, and even though he had gained independence, the fighter in him, and the lover in him, was deeply concerned and worried. He had always adrmired Ritsuka's pureness, innocence, and his gentleness. Ritsuka had changed into a stoic, indifferent, distant, withdrawn, and hardened person.

Soubi unconciously made his way up the stairs to his apartment and once inside, door locked behind him, he went to his fridge to pull out leftovers from Kio's visit the other day. He sat on his bed to eat and ate lost in thought.

_Ritsuka is too different from who he used to be, we need to go to that damn school and eliminate the cause of these hunts. If we do that, then maybe that will help him. If only I could convince him to kill those damn two teachers. Ritsuka even cusses more now, and he's so cold towards everyone, it's like he's a zombie._

Soubi was interupted from his thoughts by his phone ringing. He immediately answered it, recognizing it as the ringtone for Ritsuka.

"Ritsuka?"

Soubi cringed at the ragged breathing, why hadn't he felt Ritsuka's distress, Ritsuka had developed his talent to shield himself from Soubi feeling it. Ritsuka's voice was ragged and a small hint of pain was laced in his voice.

"Soubi . . . I . . . I can't . . . move . . . " Soubi threw the dish in the sink, and unlocked his door dashing outside. He quickly locked his door behind him and ran towards Ritsuka's house, "I'm on my way Ritsuka."

* * *

_If anyone reading this has read my previous work, you may notice that I am trying a different style of writing. Thanks for reading and please leave a review._


	3. Ch 2: Agony

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing of the sort, make no benefit from writing this, other than people enjoying my stories, and No, I am not the owner of Loveless.**_

_  
Whispers on the wind  
Caressing the tears  
Wanting to mend  
The pain from your fears  
Praying you'll stay  
I want to take you away . . ._

**_  
Agony  
_**

Soubi struggled to carry the unconscious Ritsuka in his arms, he headed to his own apartment, the same place he had stayed while attending college. He'd called Kio and after saying that Ritsuka was hurt assured he would be there to help. So Soubi walked now, the rain pouring down on them up the stairs to his apartment. Light illuminated the piercing darkness and made Soubi look up. Kio looked at him then at Ritsuka and hurriedly made his way to them to help Soubi carry Ritsuka inside the small apartment.

Soubi laid Ritsuka's form on his bed and carefully removed his shirt and pants to have better access to his wounds. Before Kio could make some retort about Soubi being a pervert he gasped at the state Ritsuka was in. His black clothes and long sleeves and pants had hidden his wounds and marks well. Ritsuka's porcelain skin was paler than usual, and drenched from the unrelenting rain that had poured down on them. There were countless cuts on his bare arms and legs, dark bruises around his wrists and arms, bruises on his legs, and a few jagged cuts on his chest and abdomen. Soubi gritted his teeth at the marks, more than most were the result of his psychopath of a mother.

Kio jumped into action having experience tending to Soubi's wounds in the past. He dashed to the bathroom, got a first aid kit, extra bandages, towels, and a few blankets. He set them down next to Soubi and then went to the kitchenette and fixed a bowel of water and got a rag from the drawer.

Kio knelt next to the bed on Soubi's left and set the bowel down on his other side. Soubi dried Ritsuka off as best as he could without shifting him too much. He was shivering from the cold and drenched in a cold sweat, his smooth skin was clammy. His face was flushed in a fever and his breathing was still quick despite being unconscious. Soubi and Kio nursed the wounds, cleaned them, and bandaged them. Soubi hypnotized the internal wounds he could and somehow lulled Ritsuka into a deep, dreamless sleep. It took them a few hours to finish and before long Ritsuka was wrapped up in blankets and curled on his side, asleep, his tail wrapped around his waist.

Kio and Soubi noticed when they looked up at the clock above the sink that it was past midnight. The rain had stopped and the two decided to go outside to talk to avoid waking Ritsuka up.

Once outside with the door closed Soubi lit up a cigarette and Kio leaned against the rail.

"I can finish the project, you did more than half of the work. Call in today and I will give them a valid excuse for you. He doesn't need to be left alone, if things go as they should, it may take a few days."

Soubi sighed, "Go as they should?"

Kio sighed, he knew all too well that a normal person would have gone on to explain how things were going, but this was Soubi. Kio looked at Soubi pointedly, "Sou-chan, I'm glad you have developed a mind of your own. You have no idea how grateful I am that you have finally come into your own. I am grateful that Ritsuka was able to help you do that. But now he is the one who is falling. Unfortunately, you don't have the ability that he has for changing people. I don't know how to tell you to help him, because I don't have the ability either. But you love him, so you have to try."

"I do try Kio."

"Yeah . . . see, that's why I can't help you, I should have known that. You are normally so insightful, strong, controlled, and now Ritsuka is diminishing that by giving you a challenge you know nothing about dealing with, pulling someone from the darkness. You can console hurt emotions, insecurities, make someone feel as though they deserve to live, and make someone like Ritsuka fall for you and actually desire you. But when it comes to pulling someone into the light, that's new territory for you."

Soubi gave no reply, so Kio continued.

"Well, maybe you should try to be true to who you really are, how much you care for him, and use the strength you have acquired throughout your life to help him. Lend him your strength, try to get into his head so you know where you stand and try to figure out how to help him. That's all I can think of."

Soubi remained silent for a moment and once he finished his cigarette he turned and faced Kio. He sighed, "That may take more than a few days."

Kio smirked, "I'm sure someone with your talents can manage. I don't know what's going on exactly so I can't offer much help."

Soubi glanced at the door to his apartment then back at Kio. Kio sighed and looked up at the night sky, "Soubi, Ritsuka has helped you open up more than you ever have. I'm glad that we're friends, but if you don't want to involve me in this, I will go home."

Soubi sighed softly, "Kio, you know I am not good with meaningful words, only words that are confusing and indirect. So how can I tell you what is going on?"

Kio laughed softly, "I don't know, it's your head, what has been bothering you, why is that kid in there so withdrawn and distant all of a sudden?"

Soubi smirked, "Thanks for being more direct. I can't figure him out, it's like we switched places. He's better at hiding his emotions, his pain, and his inner thoughts from me. It's hard to figure him out."

Kio chuckled, "Sounds like how you used to be. But Ritsuka can't lie, he was never able to do so. So I'm sure he goes with the alternative, not answering or telling half truths. Now, why is he withdrawn, what is your theory?"

Soubi lit up another cigarette and took a few drags before answering; "Well, I think it has to do with all the fights lately. Of course the nightmare from four years ago is haunting him, and Seime's betrayal and deceit had a significant effect on him. I am observant enough to notice that his home life has gotten nearly unbearable, the proof is asleep on my bed."

Kio was silent for a moment and he glanced at the door then back to Soubi, "That is the result of his mother?"

Soubi sighed, "Kio, don't play dumb, the thin slash marks are from the fight earlier, the rest are from his mother. But he forbids me to interfere or ask him about it."

Kio sighed deeply, "Okay, so he is hiding an awful lot from you. What do you mean he forbids you?"

Soubi looked at the door and kept his gaze on it before answering with a heavy tone, "He is my sacrifice Kio, he has control over me. It's not the same as it was with Seime, Ritsuka won't let me interfere with his life, put mine in danger, or allow me to get involved with his problems, which of course has the opposite result. So in his own way he's hurting me by not trusting me with his concerns and problems, it's not physical pain . . . "

Kio closed his eyes, "No but the mental and emotional pain is worse in the long run Sou-chan. That's part of being human after all. Maybe it would be a good idea for me to get involved, try to convince Ritsuka to stop pushing you away and let you in. It does become easier when you have someone to confide in."

Kio smirked knowingly and Soubi finished his cigarette with a smirk as well, _'It did become easier after Ritsuka made me tell him everything. But now he refuses to tell me anything.'_

Ritsuka felt warmth all around him, he took in a deep breath and relaxed even more at the familiar scent of Soubi. It was automatic for him to relax, but then the memories flashed in his mind and he sat up suddenly. The blanket he had been wrapped in fell down to his waist and he noticed that he was in only his boxers. He closed his eyes a moment to get rid of the dizziness and then looked at the bandages on his wounds. He hissed suddenly when he turned to look at the kitchenette. His hand went to his chest where the jagged cut had been cleaned and bandaged.

He brought his other hand to his forehead and thought to himself; _'I can't believe I involved him in this. I even called him to come and help me, how weak am I really? I can't handle her even though I have lived with her treating me like this my entire life. I rely on him too much, how in the hell am I even supposed to be able to live my own life when I can't do anything myself? Now he is definitely going to ask questions, and of course I should answer them since he saved me and I got him involved. It's not that I don't trust him, it's just that . . . I don't want him to have to deal with my problems on top of his own . . . '_

Ritsuka sighed and laid back down with his forearm resting over his eyes to block out the daylight pouring in through the window above the bed. He heard rustling across the room and peered past his arm towards the small bathroom as the door opened to reveal Soubi with a towel draped across his shoulders, in his khaki pants, barefoot, and with his upper body glistened with water still. Ritsuka blushed lightly at the sight of Soubi's fair skin and his broad shoulders and muscular, yet slim chest and the chiseled stomach. It was really something he could never get over, the beauty his fighter possessed, even with the pale scars on his neck, the few scars on his chest. Ritsuka watched behind his arm as Soubi walked over to the kitchen and winced at the slightly darkened skin on his back that were the scars from Ritsu-sensei's 'individual training.'

Ritsuka turned on his side and immediately regretted it when a sharp pain shot through him making his take in a sharp breath and bite his hand to keep from crying out. He turned back to lie on his back and still biting into his hand calmed his breathing and waited for the pain to pass. He closed his eyes and took in calming breaths, unaware that Soubi had looked at him and was making his way to his side.

Soubi knelt down next to the bed and calmly gazed at Ritsuka even though he was fuming inside that Ritsuka was in pain. He had felt it for a slight moment which had made him turn and look at Ritsuka. Ritsuka's violet eyes opened and he closed them again at meeting Soubi's. The momentary eye contact made Soubi flinch inwardly, Ritsuka had not shielded his pain from his eyes just yet. Soubi grasped the hand Ritsuka had bitten into after seeing the inner turmoil and agony his sacrifice was in. He scowled at the bite marks that had drawn blood and took the first aid kit from under the bed.

Ritsuka remained silent with his eyes closed as Soubi cleansed his hand and bandaged it. Soubi took his other hand in his and tugged on them making Ritsuka open his eyes. Ritsuka refused to look Soubi in the eyes and Soubi pulled Ritsuka into a sitting position. Ritsuka moved so that his legs were over the side of the bed. He hung his head as Soubi sat on his knees between Ritsuka's legs.

"Ritsuka, why have you been hiding this from me, why didn't you tell me how bad it has gotten?"

Ritsuka took in a deep breath and let it out with a sigh, "I . . . it's nothing Soubi, I will be fine in a few days."

Soubi inwardly scowled and his thoughts ran through his mind in their silence.

_'It's been four years, but Ritsuka still doesn't trust me enough to let me into his life. Four years and we haven't done much of anything other than in battles. Is that why he has withdrawn, have the battles made him skeptical of ever being happy?'_

In the past few years Ritsuka wasn't the same shy twelve year old anymore, Soubi refused to push them very far, he wanted Ritsuka to be fully aware of what was going on around him, to be there and not be detached and distant like he was acting now. Ritsuka had become more stern when it came to giving Soubi orders that kept him from asking too many questions, from stopping his mother's abuse, from trying to help Ritsuka through his dark thoughts. It frustrated him because he didn't know what to do. His younger sacrifice was intent on keeping it to himself and not letting him in to sooth any worries or pain.

_'He's better than that, he shouldn't have to feel that kind of pain, shouldn't have such dark thoughts and have that detached and distant gaze in his eyes. Ritsuka is pure, caring, the reason I have become more like myself again. I was still myself before, but now I don't need a sadistic master that will continuously give me orders and control my life. I can live my own life, but not like this, not with Ritsuka in pain and pushing me away. It should have gotten easier to be a part of his life in all this time, but it's only gotten harder and harder.'_

Ritsuka sighed, he knew that Soubi was concerned, he knew it was sincere, but he couldn't find it in himself to burden another with his problems. Soubi had told him that with time they would find out if the dreams were real. Even though Shinhome-sensei didn't die in the way she did in the dream, she had still died. _'So the dreams are real, it's only a matter of time before everyone else leaves me . . . only a matter of time before Soubi betrays me . . . '_

Ritsuka slightly shook his head at that thought, his chest tightening painfully at the thought that Soubi would betray him. The words he had said that night ringing in his head, _'I would die before I would follow an order to harm or kill you Ritsuka . . .'_

Soubi watched Ritsuka closely, he could feel the emotions of worry and heartache from the young man. Soubi brought Ritsuka's smaller hands in his own to his mouth, his breath fanning over Ritsuka's fingers.

Ritsuka looked at him, "Soubi . . . "

Soubi lightly kissed his fingers and let his hands go only to place his hands on the bed on either side of Ritsuka's hips.

"Ritsuka I will never leave you, I will not betray you, please tell me what is bothering you."

Ritsuka sighed, "I . . . " he glanced up at Soubi and met his eyes, he could see the concern and worry in those piercing blue eyes. Ritsuka tried to look away, but Soubi raised a hand and cupped his cheek making him keep their eyes locked. Ritsuka closed his eyes, his didn't know if he could pour his heart out to the older man, it would increase his worry.

"Ritsuka, look at me, please."

Ritsuka opened his eyes and met Soubi's again, everytime he looked Soubi in the eyes, he couldn't lie to him, couldn't shield his emotions and thoughts. He was defenseless against Soubi.

"Ritsuka tell me what is wrong?"

"I . . . the dreams . . . mother . . . Seime, I don't know, I'm lost . . . I don't know what to do . . . The dreams are so vivid, it leaves me feeling like they are real, like they are about to become reality . . . I . . . I-I d-don't want them to be r-real . . . I don't want d-destiny to control my life . . . but I . . . I-I don't know how to prevent it . . . "

Soubi lowered the hand cupping Ritsuka's face to his shoulder, mindful of the injuries. He smiled softly, "Ritsuka, you are as lost about that as I am, but you shouldn't hold this in, don't try and handle this alone. I am here for 'you', I love you, I want to protect you, so don't hide from me."

Ritsuka took a deep breath, "What can you do Soubi, can you stop it from happening, can you prevent it at all? You say you love me, and it breaks my heart at the thought that one day Seime may return and tell you to take my life or leave me. But even with the words you speak, I still can't shake the feeling that you may betray me or leave me. After finding out that S-Seime wasn't w-what I thought he was . . . I-I . . . nothing made sense, Seime was my whole world . . . the fact that he betrayed me, sought to cause me pain, it was too much. I-I was a fool, I was a fool to trust him, to love him, all he did was hurt me, lie to me . . . He won't come back to me . . . I'm a fool to still l-love him, to want him to c-come b-back . . . "

Soubi got up and sat on the bed next to the shaking, silently crying teen, he placed an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close in an embrace. Ritsuka turned his head into Soubi's chest and his smaller hands went up to fist in Soubi's shirt as he cried. Soubi used his free hand to gently run his fingers through Ritsuka's silk, long, dark hair in a soothing gesture.

After a few minutes of Ritsuka's silent crying his head turned up to gaze into his fighters' eyes. He felt warmth pass through him at the compassion and love he saw in those intense blue eyes. Ritsuka moved closer to the physical warmth and sighed softly. At the moment, he could perhaps tell Soubi some of his concerns.

"The dreams have been what's been depressing me lately, they are getting worse Soubi."

Soubi continued to run his fingers through Ritsuka's hair and Ritsuka could feel the vibration through Soubi's body as he spoke.

"Then we will have to be more on guard and keep an eye out for our friends," he knew his words wouldn't offer much comfort.

Ritsuka smiled softly, "Thanks, I know you can't really do that much about it."

Soubi reluctantly pulled out of the embrace and looked at Ritsuka, he stroked his cheek and smiled softly.

"You should get some sleep. We will figure out what to do tomorrow."

Ritsuka nodded and carefully laid back down, he smiled when Soubi laid down next to him and Ritsuka curled into him. Soubi smiled down at his head as Ritsuka turned his face into his chest. Soubi soothingly ran his fingers through his hair and waited for Ritsuka to fall asleep before he let himself fall asleep content on enjoying the warmth and feel of the other one in his arms.


	4. Ch 3: Memories

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.  
Warning: There is some violence and violent imagery along with spoilers in this chapter.**_

_Darkness curtains the heart and mind  
__Sealing all the fire of life away  
Memories the only company  
Deepening the wounds they once left  
Darkening the heart  
Searing the mind with painful thoughts_

**_  
Memories . . ._**

Soubi had left Ritsuka at his apartment to sleep off his wounds, using his own hypnotism to keep him asleep and help his wounds heal quicker. It was in the morning when he awoke that he truly started to think over the events over the last few days and the meaning behind what Ritsuka had said. So as he sat in the studio with Kio during their lunch break he ate in silence, oblivious to Kio's agitation at his silence.

Kio huffed and glared at his best friend, "Sou-chan, what happened last night between you two?"

Soubi looked up and pulled away from his thoughts and smirked, "That's none of your business Kio."

Kio scowled and even though he knew Soubi refused to do much of anything with Ritsuka at the moment he still said; "Oh really, that good huh?"

Soubi chuckled lightly, something that always made Kio very grateful that Ritsuka had come into Soubi's life. Seeing his friend smile, joke, and laugh was something new, and something he appreciated. Kio sighed and his expression and tone became serious, "How is he?"

Soubi looked down at his bento and stood to throw it away having lost his appetite. With his back still turned to his friend he sighed.

"The dreams are getting to him, he said they were worse. He still doesn't think I won't betray him, he's thinking and worrying too much."

Kio sighed and walked over to his friend having finished his lunch. He threw the bento in the trashcan and put an arm around the taller man's shoulders.

"I'm sure the two of you can work through this. But my offer to help if I can still stands. I like the kid, so I'll help if I can."

Soubi smiled and then headed to the restroom just outside the studio to wash his hands. Kio followed him and they made it through the day with small talk, jokes, and a few laughs. Kio worried about his best friend being able to help Ritsuka, Soubi worried about how he was going to help Ritsuka.

Ritsuka stirred in the soft, warm bed, not wanting to wake up. He could still smell Soubi's prescience lingering around him. He opened his eyes and noticed that it was daylight outside. He slowly sat up and threw the covers off him as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. He then gingerly stood having to take a few deep breaths at the dizziness from that action. Then he looked around and his eyes fell on the clock. It was already one in the afternoon. He had not only missed school, but now he knew his mother would definitely know he had left in the middle of the night. He sighed and turned to head to the bathroom deciding to take a shower.

Once he showered he sat on the bed with the towel on his head, shirtless and lost in his own thoughts. He had luckily had a dreamless sleep the past two times he had fallen asleep. He still was a little fuzzy as to how many days had passed, he couldn't be sure if he had only been here for one night or two. He sighed, "Guess I should probably eat something."

After he dried his hair and ran Soubi's brush through it he stopped at the action of walking out of the bathroom. He locked his eyes on his reflection in the mirror. His pale skin had dark marks, cuts, and scars and something else seemed to be on his hip bone. His eyes ran over every cut and scrape, the healing, yet still purple bruises on his chest and stomach. Then he lifted his hands and looked at the dark marks of bruises from his mother grabbing his wrists to hold him in place. He never had the heart to fight back against her and never tried too hard anymore to get away from her. But the fact that Soubi had seen him that night made him wince from the pain he would have felt had Soubi been in his position.

His hand moved up to trace the jagged, still fresh, though now closed and scarring cut above his heart. The cut ran from his collar bone down to just above his heart, his mother had tried to kill him and his instincts had knocked the knife away with a kick and he had clutched his chest and ran up the stairs.

Ritsuka shuddered and fell to his knees, now that his mind had started, it wouldn't stop, he couldn't block out the memories and that would turn into remembering other things he would rather not . . .

_Flashback_

'After he slammed the door he was greeted by his enraged mother at the foot of the stairs. She was blocking his way to his room and of course his father was nowhere to be seen. Ritsuka looked at her apologetically.

"Gomen Obasaan, I had to stay after school to talk to a teacher."

She teared up and shook her head violently, "No, no, no, my Ritsuka never got in trouble, never had to stay after school, never came home late."

Ritsuka flinched when she lunged at him grabbing him by the shoulders and slamming him into the wall. Her nails bit into his shoulders and she shook him violently.

"Where is my Ritsuka! What have you done to my son! Give me back my son!"

Ritsuka winced from the sharp biting pain in his shoulders and didn't fighter her when she pulled him away from the wall and shoved him to the ground. She picked up the vase on the table as he slowly crawled backwards away from her. She glared hatefully at him and screeched, "If you die, then he will come back! MY RITSUKA WILL COME BACK!"

He flinched as her voice raised even more and she threw the vase at him. He moved out of the way jumping to his feet out of instinct. She ran towards him as he made his way into the living room. She clawed at his back viciously while saying over and over, "Give back my Ritsuka!"

He was forced to the ground eventually by her violence and looked up at her as she walked over to the shelf and started throwing it's contents around the room, shattering a few on the ground around him or on the walls. She kept saying the same thing over and over again and her voice was to sound grinding in his ears. He winced as he got to his hands and knees and tried to stand. But then he felt something sharp cut his arm and looked to see that she had found his father's set of knives. His eyes widened and his tail wrapped around his waist as his ears flattened back in fear.

He got to his feet quickly and backed away as she made her way towards him with the knife in her hand. His back hit a wall and he looked around for a way to get away from her. She said as she continued slowly towards him, a crazed look in her eyes.

"If I kill you, then he will come back, your keeping him from coming back."

Ritsuka shook his head, he knew he couldn't say anything to her without making her angrier. He hung his head and took in a deep breath as she closed in on him. He bit his lip at the sharp pain in his chest when she stabbed it into his left shoulder and pulled it down his collar bone.

Tears filled his eyes from the pain and his right hand grasped her shoulder. He looked into her eyes and said through gritted teeth.

"Mother, I am Ritsuka, I am your son, please stop."

She stopped and for a moment he thought his plea would work. But then her grip tightened on the knife and she pulled it down while saying, "No, no, no, you're not my son."

Ritsuka felt the piercing, blazing burn of the knife approaching his heart and fear enveloped his heart. He suddenly, without thinking, grasped her wrist with the knife and pulling it out while pushing her away. Then his hand closed over the bleeding wound and he turned and ran for the stairs. He tripped in his fright and heard her screaming at him. He then felt the knife hit him in the back of his right leg and fell to the ground with a howl of pain.

He pushed himself up to his hands and knees and turned to pull the knife out only to have her shove him to the ground. He kept his right leg bent at the knee to keep the floor from pushing the knife all the way through it. She then sat on his stomach and wrenched the knife out of his leg making him growl in pain.

He then raised the knife over her head and screamed in anger. He manged to shove her off him and forced himself to his feet. He saw her get to her feet and she lunged towards him, the knife aimed for his throat. He reacted quickly, without thought and kicked the knife out of her hand making her draw her hand away. He regretted kicking the knife as his right foot touched the ground again sending pain through his entire right side.

She fell to her knees and sobbed while chanting, "Not my son, not my son," like a mantra. Ritsuka took that moment to hastily go to his room. He closed and locked his door and fell onto his bed. He pulled the first aid kit from under his bed and set to patching up the wound on his leg. After doing that his energy drained him to the point where he couldn't manage to do anything for his other wound. He pressed his hand tightly against the wound on his chest and his other hand found his cell phone. He called Soubi . . . '

_End of Flashback_

Ritsuka moved to sit against the wall adjacent to the mirror and sink. His hand was on his shoulder, where the scar was. His mind still lost in more memories he wished he could forget. The day the school had caught on fire . . .

_Another Flashback_

'It had started as a normal day, he was helping Shinohome-sensei with moving some art supplies for her summer class. Ritsuka had decided that he should do something during the summer and had volunteered to help her with her summer class since he liked her as a teacher. After he finished helping her and was on his way downstairs to hed home he had felt as though something bad was going to happen. His eyes had then came to rest on Soubi waiting at the gate for him. They were supposed to be going somewhere in Tokyo with Yaiyo, Yuiko, and Kio today.

Ritsuka let himself forget about the bad feeling he had and happily wandered over to Soubi. It was after picking up Kio, Yuiko, and Yaiyo that the feeling had gotten worse. They were all happy about heading to Tokyo and then the joyous laughs and jokes were stopped by the radio.

"It seems that a grade school had caught on fire. The firefighters are trying to get inside, but the fire is getting to be too much. There have been some injuries, but not much."

The radio went silent for a moment and some mumbled talking was heard in the background.

"It seems that we have a tragic turn of events. The school had collapsed in on itself, there was a student and teacher still inside at the time. According to witnesses, the teacher had gone inside to try and save the small child after heroically helping to get everyone safely out of the building. Though we can't release the students name, the teacher was a Miss Shinohome . . . "

Whatever was said after that was heard by no one in the car. They all knew and like Shinohome-sensei. It was especially so for the three students of hers in the car. Soubi got off on the next exit and turned around without anyone objecting or having to request he do so. They had to park a few blocks away from the school, but they had been able to see the fire for miles. The building was still burning and there were ambulances, cop cars, and a few firetrucks around the school. They weren't allowed past the barricade and they noticed other classmates and their families gathered around to try and see what was going on.

Ritsuka was holding Soubi's hand tightly and took in a sharp inhale of breath when he saw a black bag roll by towards an awaiting ambulance. He knew it was Shinohome-sensei, he could feel it when she was taken past him. Ritsuka turned into Soubi and buried his head in his chest, his ears flattened against his head and his tail wrapped around his waist. Soubi held him close and they stood there for a long while.

Ritsuka had to answer questions because he had been at the school that day and Soubi and Kio had stayed with him during the questioning. Yuiko and Yaiyo had been taken home by their parents shortly after the scene was starting to clear. Neither of them had been to the school that day, their summer activities at the school had taken place the day before. It was late by the time they left the police station. Soubi had been surprised that Ritsuka had asked to stay with him that night, not wanting to pass by the school. Kio insisted on staying as well to make sure Soubi did nothing. It was a restless night and none of them got any sleep. It had taken a while for Ritsuka to be able to walk past the school.

Then after her funeral he had asked Soubi to accompany him to the school to look around. His mind working right again he suspected that the fire was not an accident. So they made their way onto the school grounds one night with flashlights to guide them to look around. The front of the school had truly collapsed in on itself. But towards the back they found a way to get inside. They looked around for a few hours on the floors they could get to and were about to turn to leave when Ritsuka came up to a pile of rubble that blocked a way to his old classroom, the classroom that belonged to Shinohome-sensei. His flashlight scanned the wall and then fell from numb fingers at what he saw.

Soubi came running up to him and looked from him to the wall before his own flashlight scanned the wall. It stopped on the message written in blood on the wall.

_"Why have you betrayed me, Ritsuka?"_

Ritsuka fell to his knees numbly and Soubi knelt down in front of him and pulled him to him whispering to him that it wasn't his fault. Ritsuka allowed Soubi to take his hand and pull him to his feet. Then he was led out of the building and they went back to his apartment, Kio asleep on the floor. Soubi smirked and closed the door behind them, locking it.

_End of Flashback_

Ritsuka wiped away his tears and shakily got to his feet, after washing his face his shuddered when the image of Seime's message on the wall written in blood flashed through his mind. He turned away from the mirror and walked over to the bed falling onto it and curling up in the bed with the blanket hugged around him and Soubi's pillow hugged into his chest. He soon fell asleep hoping for a dreamless sleep.

Ritsuka's ears perked when he heard Soubi enter the small apartment with Kio behind him. He turned over to lay on his back and placed the pillow on his face to block out the light Soubi had switched on in the kitchen.

Ritsuka heard Kio say, "Are you going to let him sleep all day?"

Soubi chuckled and looked knowingly over at Ritsuka on the bed, "He's awake."

Ritsuka felt his cheeks heat up when he felt the bed dip slightly under Soubi's weight. He felt Soubi lay next to him and peeked past the pillow to see Soubi looking at him with his head rested on his hand and his elbow propped up on the bed. Ritsuka stayed still and pretended to be asleep then let out a startled laugh when Soubi tickled his stomach. Ritsuka hit him in the face with the pillow and carefully rose from the bed.

Soubi smiled at the Ritsuka as he sat on the edge of the bed. Ritsuka flushed when he realized that he had never put his shirt on before he fell asleep. Ritsuka turned his back to Soubi and grabbed the shirt sitting on the nearby chair and pulled it on. It was baggy and loose, and Soubi's shirt, but it was better than nothing to him. He then walked past Soubi as he stood up to the bathroom and slammed the door with a scoff.

Soubi chuckled and then he and Kio set to making some dinner. Miso ramen and rice. Kio smirked at him and said softly as Ritsuka came out of the bathroom, his hair brushed and wearing a long sleeved, black shirt that fit his size better.

"You do have good taste hentai."

Soubi sighed, "I'm not a hentai Kio."

Ritsuka sat down at the table and glared at them having heard them. Kio smiled and he and Soubi served dinner and sat down. After a quiet dinner Kio turned to Ritsuka with a serious expression on his face, "Rit-chan, I think the three of us need to have a real heart to heart."

Ritsuka huffed, "You two can have a heart to heart, I need to go home."

He moved to stand but was stopped by Kio placing his hand on his arm. Ritsuka sat down with a sigh. Kio looked at him, "Rit-chan, you know I consider you a friend, and as Sou-chan's best friend I think that gives me some say in what is going on in his life. Since you are a big part of his life, then the fact that what is bothering you is bothering him bothers me."

Ritsuka scoffed, "It's none of your business Kio. And nothing is bothering me."

Kio laughed, "Right, is that why you had to call Soubi to come and save your life? Is that why the two of us spent alll night patching up wounds?"

Ritsuka flinched and then glared at Kio, "I never asked _you_ to help. So why are you getting involved?"

"Because Rit-chan, I care about you. And I'm sorry, but Sou-chan is my best friend so when the one he loves gets hurt I plan on helping him take care of you. See it goes like this, when you get hurt and when something is bothering you, it bothers him and it hurts him to see you that way. So it hurts me to see him hurt and I am going to do what I can to keep him from getting hurt. So stop telling yourself that no one notices, or that you'd be burdening us if you let us know what's wrong because that's self-centered and selfish."

Ritsuka hung his head and Soubi was holding back from hitting his friend because he was right in some ways. Ritsuka looked up and glanced at both of them before staring past them at the wall. He forced himself to speak, his voice emotionless, monotone.

"I never blamed her for how she is or what she has done to me. I never once hated her, but lately, especially since that dream, I have been starting to feel anger towards her, resentment. I have been feeling different, I don't feel anything when we are in battles and the opponents are hurt. It scared me because I don't want to be like Seime, that's how Seime was, emotionless and cold. He may have acted alive with me, but now look what he's done. He hurt Soubi, he deliberately manipulated me, then he hurt others. I don't . . . " His voice faltered and he took a deep breath to steady himself.

"I don't want him to hurt anyone anymore, I don't want to loose anyone I care about. I don't want Yuiko, Yaiyo, Kio, Soubi, my mother, anyone to get hurt because of Seime. I don't want that school to send fighters after us or use our friends to force us to do what they want like they have before. I don't want Kio or Yuiko to be taken again, I want them to stop. I don't want my mom to try and kill me anymore, I don't want her to accuse me of not being her son, I don't want my father to ignore that I exist. I don't want anymore bad things to happen. But I don't want to hurt others to prevent bad things from happening."

Ritsuka finally looked at Soubi and said with a hint of plea in his voice, "I don't want anyone to die to stop my friends from getting hurt. But I know we have to do something to stop them before anyone does get hurt."

Soubi nodded and said, "Yes we have to do something. What do you want to do?"

Ritsuka looked away for a moment and then he hung his head and said, "We have to go there and stop them."

Kio smiled, it looked as though they were getting somewhere. He took their dishes from the table and put them in the sink. He refused to let Soubi and Ritsuka help him and listened as they continued talking.

"I will tell you that we may have to hurt them to get them to leave us alone."

Ritsuka nodded, "I know, but . . . I don't want any of our friends hurt . . . s-so we have to do something to stop t-them."

Soubi leaned across the table to take Ritsuka's hands in his own and brought them to his lips kissing them. Ritsuka blushed but didn't pull his hand away. Soubi looked at him and locked eyes with Ritsuka, "Skidaiyo, Ritsuka."

Ritsuka flushed even more and this time he did pull his hands away. He stood and said with his back to Soubi.

"I do have to go home, I'm not seventeen yet, so I have to stay with her. She might do something drastic if I'm gone for too long."

Kio and Soubi exchanged glances and Kio sullenly nodded that Ritsuka was right. Soubi stood up and walked over to Ritsuka. He leaned down and whispered into his ear, fully aware of the shiver that ran through Ritsuka at the feel of his breath on his ear.

"You could keep her waiting just a little bit longer."

Ritsuka flushed again and turned his head away from Soubi's lips, "I can't make her wait more, it will make her angrier," he said with a hint of regret in tone. Soubi smiled and stood up straight then he grasped Ritsuka hand in his own.

"Hai, you have a point. We should go before it gets too late. But I will show you how to get into your room through the window to avoid confrontation for the night."

Ritsuka nodded and then he turned and looked directly into Soubi's eyes a thought coming to him.

"You didn't do anything to her the other night did you?"

Soubi shook his head, "No Ritsuka, I didn't."

Ritsuka sighed, "Good, I don't want her to get hurt either."

Soubi inwardly sighed, 'Always so pure, she tries to kill you, brings you harm, and says so many hurtful things and yet you still love her and wish no harm on her. You may feel some anger and resentment towards the way she treats you, but you continue to protect and love her.'

They left quietly, Kio saying he would see Soubi when he got back. Ritsuka was silent on the way to his house. Soubi stopped just in front of the house and pulled Ritsuka to the side street. They walked around the block and stopped at the gate that lined the group of houses. Soubi climbed on top of the gate and pulled Ritsuka up to stand next to him. Ritsuka was a little frightened of falling, but with Soubi holding his hand he was okay. They were easily able to get on the small balcony of his window while standing on the wall thick gate. Ritsuka opened the sliding glass door and stepped into his room turning around and facing Soubi before he could enter the room.

Soubi smiled and leaned down, his breath ghosting over Ritsuka's lips, "Skidaiyo, see you tomorrow."

Soubi leaned back, but Ritsuka placed his hand on the back of Soubi's neck and pulled him back down saying before he locked their lips, "Don't tease me Soubi."

Soubi smiled into the kiss and gently kissed back, smiling at Ritsuka's tongue as it swept across his lips. He parted his lips to allow Ritsuka's playful tongue coax his and then he pressed into the younger man and with a hand snaked around his waist pulled Ritsuka into him. Then he deepened the kiss, taking control, and relished at the muffled whimper coming from Ritsuka.

Ritsuka could feel his blood warming and knew that if this continued they were going to have to moved from where they stood. He let himself melt into Soubi and moaned when Soubi sucked on his tongue then his lower lip. He shuddered when the hand pressed into the small of his back moved to grip his hip. When his other hip was held and Soubi's thumb rested over that mark he still hadn't looked at yet his entire body shivered and he felt a breathless moan escape his mouth. Startled at the sensation from that simple touch he broke the kiss, flushed, breathless, and panting. He rested his forehead on Soubi's chest and his arms hung loosely around Soubi's neck.

Soubi's breathless pants on his neck sent a tingling feeling down his spine. Soubi backed away slightly and then his thumb caressed his jaw line and tilted his head to look him in the eyes. He leaned down and kissed Ritsuka hastily, and deeply enough to leave him breathless. Ritsuka opened his eyes, not remembering closing them and gazed at Soubi as he stepped back from the door. Ritsuka wanted to tell him to stay, but he couldn't find the words and his body was still tingling from that feeling when Soubi brushed his thumb across that mark.

Ritsuka snapped out of it when he noticed the blood on Soubi's neck, the scars that said Beloved were bleeding because of their actions. Ritsuka stepped forward and reached out to tenderly touch the bleeding scar. Soubi shuddered despite himself and caught Ritsuka's hand. He licked the blood off Ritsuka's fingers and Ritsuka licked his lips at the sight of that tongue. Soubi smirked and then he said softly, "Skidaiyo Ritsuka, goodnight."

Ritsuka stood where he was when Soubi turned and climbed down and watched him walk away. He wished Soubi would have stayed, but doing anything in his house was a really bad idea. He flushed as he thought that the reason being was because he was vocal, regardless of how much he tried not to be.

Ritsuka took a deep breath and calmed himself down before closing the sliding door and pulling the curtains over it then he turned and decided to turn on his computer to check his messages, he was sure that Yuiko and Yaiyo would have sent him something. Even as he changed his sheets and remade his bed he couldn't calm down all that much. The simple brush of Soubi's thumb had left him wanting more than anything they had done together. Ritsuka sighed and decided that he should probably investigate that mysterious mark. He quietly made his way to his door and unlocked the deadbolt and lock on the doorknob. He opened the door enough to peer into the dark hallway and make sure his mother and father were asleep. When he heard nothing he opened his door all the way and quickly made his way across the hall to the bathroom.

He softly closed the door behind him and switched on the light, then he pulled his shirt up a littled with one hand and with his thumb pulled the him of his pants and boxers down enough to see the unknown mark fully. It fit right over his hip bone and pelvic bone, it was a broken heart, the color of blood and violet of his eyes. His breath hitched when his finger ran across the mark to touch it. It was as soft as his own skin, as though it had always been there. He pulled the cloth slightly lower and noticed that something was written beneath it. It was written in a dark blue, as though stamped into his skin, "Loveless."

Ritsuka let go and backed into the wall with his eyes closed, it was going to begin . . . the dreams were going to become real. He slid down the wall, he remembered this happening in one of the dreams that followed that nightmare of loosing everyone. He remembered seeing that mark, the symbol of loveless on someone else, someone that lay dead on the ground in some unknown city. It had been too blurry in the dream to make out what they looked like. He only remembered the blood around them, the clothes torn and tattered enough for his eyes to see the symbol on the same place where it was on his skin.

He shook his head and a sob escaped him, 'This isn't real, it will wash off and the dream will never happen, no one will die.' He pulled his knees to his chest ignoring the pain in his right leg and wrapped his arms around his legs. He knew he was childish to think it would wash away. He was foolish to sit there and cry like a child, but he did, he cried and hugged his legs to him and felt like the world was crashing all around him.

Meanwhile, his computer was set to have him logged in when it was on, his message screen came on. One message had been sent to him.

_MoonSen: Loveless we know where you are. We will get you and your nameless fighter_.


	5. Ch 4: Loveless

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**_

_Nothing surrounding you  
No one to hear your screams  
No one to save you from the pain  
Desperation the only feeling in your heart_

_**  
Loveless . . .  
**_

Ritsuka stirred finally, he'd fallen asleep again, sitting on the floor, crying himself into slumber. He pushed himself to his feet and washed his face. He grabbed a towel and dried his face and turned to the door. He felt a knot grip him in the stomach when he reached for the doorknob. He swallowed and howled in pain when his hand grasped the burning door knob. He backed away from the door cradling his hand and then saw a dancing, orange light under the door.

He shook his head, "No, this is not happening."

He closed his eyes and then opened them, but nothing changed. He reached for the door and placed his other hand on the door, feeling the heat through the door he backed away. He reached for his phone and remembered taking it out and putting it on his desk after Soubi had left. He took a few calming breaths and convinced himself that he could do this, he could get out. He steeled himself and then ran at the door tackling it, the door shuddered and he tired again ramming his shoulder into it until it hurt. But the door didn't move. He looked around and ripped the towel hanging above the toilet. He wrapped the towel around the doorknob and grasped it in two hands. He put his foot on the wall next to the door and pulled with all he had. The door flew open and the flames from his burning house and momentum sent him sliding across the floor and his back hitting the bathtub painfully.

Ritsuka hissed and pushed himself to his feet, he gazed into the flames that made the nightmares flare in his mind. He quickly got one of the towels wet, the students had been taught in middle school what to do when caught in a fire. He then soaked himself with the shower and placing the towel on his head and holding it over his mouth with one hand he jumped through the threshold of the bathroom. He dashed over to his room and in his fire ensnared home. He picked up his phone and pocketed it noticing his computer was still on.

He closed the pop up that had appeared and felt his heart clench at the message he read. He then felt more than fear envelope him, he felt burning anger searing through him. They were doing this, they were going to kill someone again. He secretly hoped it wasn't Seime's doing this time. He pushed his computer off his desk in anger and it crashed to the floor in pieces. With the anger and fear driving him he turned and made his way through his burning house searching for his mother. He would never be able to live with himself if she died in this fire that he knew they had started.

She was standing in the kitchen, her head hung, unmoving. Ritsuka felt deja vu from the scene, he walked over to her and grasped her wrist with a strength he never used and pulled her from the kitchen towards the front door. She followed him silently, tonight she was controlling her anger. Ritsuka stopped suddenly when he heard something creak above him. He pushed her away and rolled on the ground as a piece of debris came crashing down. He jumped to his feet and looked for his mother, she stood at the foot of the stairs gazing up.

"Ritsuka, my son, I will come to you, I will save you."

"Mom!" Ritsuka moved to try and stop her from going up the stairs, pieces of the house were falling all around them, the house was about to collapse. He watched in horror as she ascended the stairs. He jumped over the debris that had fallen a moment ago and was about to reach the stairs when he was pulled back by strong arms wrapped around his waist.

He looked up at the person holding him and shook his head at the firefighter. He reached out, struggled to get free, "Mom, mom come back! MOM!"

The stairs collapsed in on her before she could get to the top, with a bone chilling scream it all collapsed. Two more firefighters entered the house as the one holding Ritsuka dragged him outside. He still continued to fight him and cried out, "No, let me go! My mom is still inside!"

He wouldn't let himself be taken to over to the waiting ambulance. He wouldn't answer the questions from anyone. He only stared at his burning home and when he saw the two fire fighters coming back outside with no one he shook his head and fell to his knees, hot tears running down his cheeks.

"No . . . this can't be happening . . . this isn't real . . . "

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he quickly pulled it out and answered it without looking at who was calling him.

A chilling, eerie voice said to him as he held it to his ear about to say hello causing chills to run down his spine and fear to pierce his heart.

"Well Loveless, it seems you have lost what was left of your family. Can you save your friends lives?"

The line went dead before Ritsuka could reply. Ritsuka called Soubi and said with a shaky voice, "Soubi, it's . . . i-it's happening . . . the d-dream . . . " His shaky voice broke, a heart-wrenching feeling rising in his throat and preventing him from saying anything else. Everything started to sink in making him drop his phone with Soubi's voice still saying words he couldn't make out in his clouded mind. He was still on his knees, tears still streaming down his face. He pushed himself up to his feet and ignoring everyone around him dashed down the street, running with fear and pain fueling his numb body. He tripped and fell scraping his knees and hands only to get back on his feet. He ran, but he didn't know where he was going, why he was running.

Soubi closed his phone and quickly took his keys from his dining room table grabbing his jacket as he did so. He made his way out of his apartment and no bothering to lock his door ran down the stairs and headed to Ritsuka's home, he could sense his sacrifice running from his home. The fear and pain from the young man fueling him with fear and pain for Ritsuka.

He was startled half way to Ritsuka's house to see the sixteen year old running blindly towards him. Soubi saw the glint of tears on his pale cheeks and he was surprised when Ritsuka didn't look at him but made to run past him. Soubi grabbed his wrist and pulled him to his chest. At first Ritsuka fought against his hold but when Soubi said it was him he collapsed in the embrace.

Soubi stood firmly holding Ritsuka in his arms as hot tears fell from those violet, pained, fearful, and lost eyes. Soubi whispered soothingly to him, "Ritsuka, you have to calm down and tell me what's going on."

After a few sobs and some deep breaths from Ritsuka, he finally sniffed and pulled away from the embrace to wipe away his tears. He looked up into Soubi's eyes, Soubi winced from the intensity of Ritsuka's inner turmoil.

"It's t-them, w-we have t-to make s-sure . . . " Soubi nodded in understanding and gently wiped away the fresh tears on Ritsuka's face with a brush of his thumb. He then took hold of his hand and said, "Okay, let's go check on Yuiko and Yaiyo first."

Ritsuka nodded and let Soubi lead him down the street towards Yuiko's house first. When they arrived, she was already outside talking to her parents while standing in her front door.

Her voice was filled with worry, fear, and concern; "I have to go to Ritsuka-kun's house, something happened."

There was a loud reply from inside, "Yuiko, get back in here, it's the middle of the night."

Then Yuiko closed the door and turned only to take a step back in surprise. Then her eyes filled with tears and a huge smile was on her face. She ran to Ritsuka and embraced him forcing him to let go of Soubi's hand and stagger back. He embraced her back, happy and relieved that she was alright. Once they broke the embrace, she was still crying with a smile on her face.

"Oh, I was so worried, I saw on the t.v. that your house caught on fire and they didn't know where you were, and I am so happy you're okay."

Ritsuka smiled, "I'm glad you're okay too Yuiko."

She looked at him confused, "Why would I not be okay?"

Ritsuka shook his head, "Nothing, I'm sorry to have worried you."

Soubi took Ritsuka's hand again and then leaned down to whisper in his ear so that Yuiko wouldn't hear him; "Do you want her to come with us?"

Ritsuka flushed a bit at the feeling of Soubi whispering in his ear and shook his head slightly, "No, I don't think that would be a good idea."

Soubi stood up straight and nodded, "Well Yuiko, do you want to come with us for a walk to Yaiyo's"  
Ritsuka looked at Soubi, "I just . . ."

Soubi smiled innocently at him and then said, "Well, she knows Yaiyo better than we do."

Ritsuka let out a sigh and nodded and Yuiko watched them lost and then looked at Soubi.

"Why are we going to Yaiyo's?"

Soubi answered before Ritsuka could say anything, "We just want to let him know that Ritsuka is alright."

Yuiko smiled, but she didn't question more, she nodded, "Okay."

Once the three of them made it to Yaiyo's house, it wasn't that surprising that he was greeting them in only a few seconds. He smiled at Yuiko and then looked confusedly at Soubi and Ritsuka.

"Is something going on?"

Soubi nodded, "Yes, well something unfortunate happened to Ritsuka's home, and since Yuiko was concerned, we thought we would let the two of you know that Ritsuka is alright."

Yaiyo looked from Soubi to Ritsuka, "Hmm, well I'm glad you did. But that still doesn't explain what's going on."

Yuiko nodded, "Yeah, yeah, Yaiyo-kun is right."

Soubi made to say something, but Ritsuka glared at him, "Be quiet Soubi, I don't want you telling them lies."

Soubi smiled and nodded. Ritsuka took a deep breath and fixed his gaze on the ground.

"My house caught on fire, so I called Soubi . . . then we wanted to make sure the two of you were alright."

Yaiyo made to say something, but Yuiko cut him off; "I'm so sorry Ritsuka-kun, that was really kind of you."

Yaiyo finally said after glancing at Soubi and Ritsuka again, noticing how tightly Ritsuka was holding Soubi's hand.

"It seems that something else is going on that you aren't telling us Ritsuka-kun. Is this linked with Shinohome-sensei?"

Soubi was a little taken back by Yaiyo's comment, but he told himself he didn't really know Yaiyo that well to judge him. Ritsuka glanced at Soubi and before either one of them could reply, they heard the distant sound of an explosion towards Yuiko's house. They all looked towards her home, startled. Yuiko had a look of pure fear on her face.

Ritsuka looked at Soubi, "Soubi . . . "

Soubi nodded and looking at Yaiyo and Yuiko said, "The two of you stay right here, Ritsuka and I will go see what that was."

Yaiyo shook his head, "I can't do that, Yuiko-chan is my friend and I don't think she would want to stay here."

Yuiko didn't reply, she looked at the three of them and shook her head violently, "That wasn't . . . " Tears flowed from her eyes, her knees buckled and Yaiyo caught her. He glanced at Soubi, "I will stay with her . . . go, but please come back."

Soubi nodded and holding Ritsuka's hand tightly pulled him away and they ran to Yuiko's home. They stood before it, flames engulfing the home. Ritsuka looked up at Soubi, "How could they . . . she didn't do anything . . . "

Soubi hated that Ritsuka was in pain, that they would do this to hurt him. He felt Ritsuka pull his hand away and dash towards the house. He barely caught him by the arm and pulled him back in time to keep him from going to the house. It was already caved in on itself, ruined, there was likely no one alive inside the home. They would have to go back and tell Yuiko.

Ritsuka pulled away from Soubi, but he couldn't break his embrace, he looked enraged at Soubi. "Let me go, they might still be alive . . . "

Soubi shook his head, "No, I'm sorry Ritsuka."

Before anything else could be said they both stopped, a sharp pain right through their minds, someone was there. Soubi looked around, why couldn't he sense their location. Ritsuka pulled his arm away but took Soubi's hand in his. He tried to sense where they were, but he couldn't find them anymore than his fighter. He looked up at Soubi, "Where . . . "

He was cut off by a shadow looming over them, they looked up to see someone sitting in the shadowed tree in Yuiko's yard to their right. He was wearing all black and neither of them could make out his appearance. He jumped down and walked over to them, Soubi stepped in front of Ritsuka shielding him behind him.

The stranger stopped a few feet from them, the burning house showing his figure. He stood a few inches shorter than Soubi. He had pale skin, was slightly muscular, his long dark brown hair, waist length and tied back at the base of his neck. His dark eyes looked black in the darkness, he was wearing a black coat, black pants, and a dark red button up shirt with the top two buttons undone. He smirked at the two and said in a voice Ritsuka recognized from the phone sending chills down his spin.

"Well, if it isn't Loveless and his nameless fighter."

Soubi glared at the man, his anger growing at the fear that emitted from Ritsuka. He said with an angry tone, "Who are you?"

The man chuckled darkly, "Me? I'm just here to take care of the job Nagisa-chan couldn't."

Soubi noticed the title which gave him the conclusion that this man was a sensei from Septimal Moon. His anger grew even more, "Why would they send a sensei?"

The man chuckled again, "A sensei, I may be a star pupil, but I'm no sensei. I'm sure you have heard of Kasame-sensei, Agatsuma Soubi."

Soubi's anger turned to deep concern, yes, he had heard of Kasame-sensei. He was grateful he had Ritsu-sensei other than Kasame-sensei. But from this man's actions and the presense he had, he couldn't pity him for being a student of the cruel man. His anger came back again as he felt a small tremble come from Ritsuka who stepped closer to Soubi. Soubi looked down at him and felt warmth take hold of him, Ritsuka trusted him to protect him against this man that had been haunting him and threatened them now. Anger took hold of him again at the thought that this man had been scaring Ritsuka.

The man smirked, "I have no need for a nameless fighter. I am only here to retrieve Loveless."

Soubi felt rage race through him, "You will not be taking Loveless anywhere."

The man chuckled darkly again, "Really, do you truly think you can stop me?"


	6. Ch 5: Sacrifices

_**Disclaimer: Do I really need to say it again? Oh, alright, I do not own Loveless. I also don't own the thumbnails, those are the products of Loveless as well.  
**_

_Is anyone worth dying for  
Is anyone worth crying over  
Are they worth killing over  
Or is it all meaningless  
Worthless  
_

**_Sacrifices . . .  
_**

A heart-wrenching scream filled the night, it was a piercing scream of agony and loss. A scream that had followed a painful cry. A sixteen year old was on his knees cradling an older figure, covered in blood, pale, dying in his arms. The wounds, the blood coming from his own wounds unnoticed because of the feeling of loss filling him. Dark hair curtained his face shielding his violet eyes, but tears ran down his cheeks, washing away streaks of blood and dirt. His black shirt, torn, deep slashes and cuts on his arms, his back and chest, but ignored.

The figure he held, the sharp, piercing blue eyes hazed with pain, with the clouds of death looming over him. He looked up into the violet eyes, the tears clutching his heart painfully to know that he was the cause of such tears. The cause of such heartache and pain in those eyes, the eyes he loved so much. A shaky hand rose, reaching with the strength of love alone to those teary, stained cheeks. He ran his thumb across the cheek and finally those eyes met his. He licked his cracked lips, tasting the bitterness of his own blood on his tongue. He then said with a weak, hoarse voice, "Skidaiyo, Ritsuka."

Ritsuka shook his head, his hair moving with him, his bangs sticking to his face. His hand, covered in blood, nasty cuts across it rose and held Soubi's hand to his cheek.

"Soubi, don't . . . you're going to be f-fine."

Soubi felt compassion warm his heart and with an even weaker voice said, "I'm sorry I couldn't save you . . . I really do love you . . . "

Ritsuka shook his head again, ignoring the pain coursing through his body, "No, you still can, you just have to stay alive," his voice pleading with the one he held.

The man who had defeated them stood watching the scene with a bored expression. He sighed and rotated his neck then said irritably, "Loveless, he's as good as dead. Time to go."

Ritsuka ignored the man's words, his eyes still locked onto Soubi's graying eyes. He could feel the life seeping away from him, could feel his heart numbing at the realization of Soubi dying, of Soubi leaving him. Ritsuka closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled painfully then gazed intensely into Soubi's eyes.

"Skidaiyo, Soubi."

A true smile appeared on Soubi's face, warmth coursing through him at the words. His hand on Ritsuka's cheek moved to the back of his neck. He pulled his face down without any hesitation from Ritsuka. Their lips met in a desperate kiss, a kiss that was filled with pleading, a kiss to voice how much they truly needed and loved one another. Ritsuka's eyes slowly opened when the kiss ended, not remembering shutting them. His eyes locking onto Soubi's eyes.

Soubi continued to smile even as his eyes slowly closed, Ritsuka closed his eyes as well and tightened his hold on Soubi's form as it fell completely limp in his arms. Ritsuka opened his eyes and turned his head to gaze at the sky, a new feeling filling him. A feeling he had never felt before, it overlapped the feeling of loss, any feelings of fear he had. It consumed him, warming his blood to a boiling point, clouding his mind in a red haze. This emotion was something he had feared, something he had despised, and yet he allowed it to consume him in place of the clenching feeling of loss that threatened to encompass his heart coldly.

Ritsuka moved Soubi from where he had rested in his lap and gently laid him down on the ground. Every move he made was fluid, but subconscious. He raised one knee up to a kneeling position before using that knee to push himself to his feet. His mind didn't register the physical injuries, the deep cuts in his wrists from the restraining spell, the deep slashes on his arms, legs, chest, back, and on his right side. Nor did the blood pooling at his feet from the mortal wound to his gut register. Only that consuming, empowering feeling registered. He lifted his head, his hair still curtaining his face, his violet eyes darkened to slits, darkened to an onyx color of rage, of pure hatred for the man who stood before him.

When Ritsuka's eyes locked onto this mans, he saw a glint of fear pass before them and was surprised that he felt empowered by that fear. Before Ritsuka could take a step towards him to find out what this feeling would allow him to do, he heard a voice that snapped him out of his trance.

"Ritsuka . . . "

Ritsuka turned and staggered back a step, his beloved brother stood only feet away from him. Gazing at him with concern, with a brotherly love. Ritsuka closed his eyes to the emotions rushing through him. He then fell to his knees, tears falling from his eyes, tears he couldn't stop, sobs he couldn't prevent.

He felt his brother's gentle touch on his shoulder, then the feeling of warmth returned, opening his mind. That warmth led to him feeling the heartbreaking loss of Soubi's death, the feeling of betrayal came to him, piercing his heart and he broke out of the embrace and pushed Seime away shaking his head.

"I couldn't . . . I wans't strong enough . . . Seime, why did you lie to me? Why did you hurt S-Sou . . ." He couldn't finish saying his name, he couldn't say it with that tearing feeling of loss in his heart. He fell to his hands and knees and shook his head violently again, "I don't want . . . I want him back . . . I-I wanted . . . I-I wanted you t-to come back and f-for him . . . f-for him to s-stay . . . "

Seime sighed and cupped Ritsuka's chin, "Ritsuka, he can't come back. But I am back."

"Not for long Beloved," came the voice of the stranger once again. Ritsuka flinched and was startled when Seime pulled him to his feet and held Ritsuka behind him protectively.

The stranger stood only a few steps away from them. He glared at Seime and then looked annoyed at Ritsuka. "Loveless, if you don't stop being so damn difficult, then I'm going to have to hurt your brother too. So let's go."

Ritsuka hesitantly pulled away from Seime, but Seime wouldn't let him go. Seime stood his ground and glared at the stranger. "Ritsuka isn't going anywhere with you."

The man scoffed, "I don't have time for this Beloved's sacrifice. He will come with me, one way or another. If I have to kill you to get to him, I will. But do you think your little brother would like you dead?"

Ritsuka shook his head violently, anger flooding through him at this man's threat to his brother's life. He pulled out of the embrace and shoved Seime away from him. He then stepped towards the stranger. Seime reached out for Ritsuka who stepped towards the stranger once again.

"I'm sorry Nii-san."

Seime looked at him, hurt, betrayal, and anger in his gaze as he met Ritsuka's eyes. Ritsuka was shocked to see those emotions in his brothers' eyes, but he moved to stand next to the stranger at the look. The stranger grabbed his arm in a painful hold and pulled Ritsuka away from Seime, heading away from him. He let go as they walked past Seime and shoved Ritsuka forward. He tripped but quickly regained his footing before he fell. He walked on, a last glance at Seime, and then at Soubi's form, his heart twisting painfully in his chest. He saw before he looked away as Seime knelt down next to Soubi's form and reached out to check his pulse.

A few hours later, they stood outside the gates of Septimal Moon, Ritsuka wearing the long black coat from the stranger to cover his injuries. Ritsuka followed him through the gates and into the lobby. The stranger had yet to say his name, and when Ritsuka paused to look around he roughly grabbed his arm and pulled him behind him. They were heading towards the classrooms. The hallways were dimly lit and the floor were made of wood, the walls a dull gray color. They entered a long hallway at the back of the lobby to the right. There were at least ten doors on either side of the hallway, none of them with room numbers or names on the doors. They passed by eight before they stopped and the stranger knocked on the door to their right.

Ritsuka felt a chill pass through him at the sound of the emotionless, deep voice inside the room saying, "Enter."

The stranger opened the door and pushed Ritsuka through into the dark room. Ritsuka looked around after he regained his balance. He saw the ceiling high bookshelves on both of the side walls to his left and right. There was a small, black, leather couch right up against the bookshelf on the left. Next to the bookshelf on the right were two, black, leather chairs, right up against the bookshelf and each other.

In front of him sat two more black, leather chairs and a dark, wooden desk. Behind the desk, sitting on a chair only slightly larger than the ones in front of the desk was a man. He had a very slight tan, his eyes a pale brown, almost the color of honey. But as Ritsuka's eyes met his, he could only sense emptiness, nothing was in his eyes. Those eyes made him feel uneasy so he averted his gaze to the computer on the desk. His short, dirty blond hair fell around his forehead and ears in the front and barely brushed the back of his neck in the front.

The stranger made him jump by closing the door and then grabbing him by the arm again. He forced Ritsuka forward and shoved him in the chair. Ritsuka hissed from his injuries and his hand went to the still bleeding wound. The stranger looked at the man behind the desk, "Sensei, I have brought Loveless."

The man glanced at the stranger and then said with the same, cold, emotionless tone, "Very well, you're dismissed Jace."

Jace nodded once and then turned and left the room, closing the door behind him. Ritsuka shifted uneasily in his seat and glanced at the man once more before averting his gaze. He felt so dazed, but the uneasiness from this man made him alert. The man sighed and Ritsuka looked up, making sure not to make eye contact.

He could feel the man's gaze on him and shifted again. The man spoke after a few seconds of silence, "Well now," Ritsuka was startled that there seemed to be an easy going tone in the man's voice. Ritsuka's uneasiness lessoned, but he still felt weary.

"You seem nervous Aoyagi-kun."

Ritsuka nodded, he didn't trust his voice with the raw emotions and the physical pain he was trying to endure. The man stood up suddenly and Ritsuka flinched and looked at him fearfully as he walked from behind the desk to kneel before Ritsuka. He put his hands on the arms of the chair and leaned forward making Ritsuka lean back in the chair, a look of horror evident on his face.

"Are you hurt?" The man's voice was gentle, he even sounded concerned. Ritsuka still felt fearful and uncomfortable by the close proximity. His mind couldn't register the anger he should feel that this man was the one who had sent Jace to get him and Jace had . . . Ritsuka pushed his thoughts away and nodded once.

The man leaned away and stood up, then he held out his hand, "I will take you to get some medical attention."

Ritsuka licked his lips and made to say something, but thought better of it and hesitantly took the mans' hand. He was pulled to his feet and then the man let him go and walked to the door. He opened the door and motioned for Ritsuka to step out of the room. Ritsuka stepped forward and out into the dimly lit hallway once again. He stood waiting for the man and then walked beside him down the hallway. They were heading back towards the hallway, then they crossed to the other hallway that was better lit. The walls were tan and the floor had white tile. The ceiling was also white and the hallway was longer than the one they had come from.

There were fifteen doors on both sides of the hallway and a hallway on both sides at the end. Once they got to the end they made their way down the hallway on the left. This hallway had white walls, but was the same as the last. There was another hallway at the end turning to the right. Once they came to that hallway, even the doors were white. It was just as long as the other hallway, but there were only eight doors. The first floor were single doors, while the others were double doors. The rooms were labled with numbers, except for the last two. The one on the right read, 'Office,' while the other read, 'Nurse.'

They stopped in front of the nurse's door and the man knocked lightly. After a few moments there was a female voice saying, "Just a minute." After about thirty or so seconds the door opened. There stood a woman of average height, she was well endowed, and had slim hips. Her long, brown hair was tied back in a braided bun at the base of her neck. She had on silver rimmed glasses and soft blue eyes. Her skin was rather pale, like porcelain, but her expression was kind. She wore what Ritsuka had noticed was pretty usual, khaki pants and a white, button up shirt. The same as the man standing next to her, but Ritsuka could admit that she looked better wearing it.

Her eyes brightened as she looked at the man, "Well, what brings you here at this hour Kasame-sensei?"

The man chuckled, which even though it sounded warm made Ritsuka shiver. "I have this student here that needs your attention."

Ritsuka felt her eyes fall on him and he looked down, he felt a little better when he heard the genuine concern in her voice.

"Oh my, whatever happened to him? Please, come in, come in."

Ritsuka flinched violently when Kasame-sensei put a hand on his shoulder. The man removed his hand and Ritsuka walked past him and through the door. The nurse led him to a small bed, Ritsuka was surprised that it felt like a normal bed. He looked around as she wandered off into the office. There was another bed next to the one he sat on, two feet from him. It was inclined at the head and had clean, white sheets, a thin blanket, and two pillows. There was another next to it. Across the room were three more of the same beds. Only ten feet from where he was along the left wall was a sink, cabinet, and counter, all of it white. The cabinets lined half the wall and reached up to the ceiling. Across from that was a room, the office he assumed. Then at the far back, in the right corner was a unlabled door. He couldn't make out what was on the other side of the sink, combination cabinet.

He saw that Kasame-sensei was standing near the doorway, the door was still ajar. He turned his head when he heard footsteps after a door closed. The nurse had walked out of a door on the other side of the cabinet. She held in her hand a small, plastic, pink, box. Ritsuka couldn't make out it's contents.

She set down what she was carrying on the floor by Ritsuka's feet and knelt down in front of him. She smiled sweetly at him, "Can you take off that coat so I can look at your injuries?"

Ritsuka nodded and removed the jacket, he had to stand up to do so, and she moved away to give him room. She then looked at his wounds quickly and a look of horror passed through her eyes before she smiled at him and stood up. She looked sternly to Kasame-sensei and said in a just as stern voice, "You let Jace-kun bring him here?"

Kasame-sensei shrugged, "Yes."

She huffed and then she walked over to him and shoved him out into the hallway, "Then you can wait in the hallway." Before he could make any notion to protest she slammed the door in his face. Ritsuka smiled a small smile and watched her turn and look at him. He felt the uneasiness melt away at the motherly concern in her eyes and expression. She sighed and then she said to him in a warm voice, "You have some pretty bad injuries there, so I need you to take off your shirt and from the looks of it, your pants as well. I don't want to risk anything becoming infected."

Ritsuka flushed, he may be sixteen now, but he still felt uncomfortable being that exposed to anyone. Unless he was under the influence of sedatives, or if it was . . . Ritsuka pushed the thought out of his mind and got to his feet. He grudgingly pulled at the bottom of his shirt, a yelp and hiss of pain passing through his lips. He bit his lip and pulled the shirt up, drawing blood when the shirt pulled at the dried blood on the worst of the wounds. He managed to pull the shirt completely off and with an embarrassed flush on his cheeks unbutton and unzipped his pants. He slid them down a little and sat back down to toe off his shoes then kicked off his pants.

The nurse quickly picked up his torn, soiled clothes and walked off heading to the room at the back on the left. She returned with a pair of pale blue slacks and a white T-shirt. She set them down on the countertop and also set a white towel on top of it. She then turned with a kind smile to Ritsuka, "Okay now, the door on the right at the back is a private bathroom, go back there and take a shower to get all the grim and blood off and then I will tend to your wounds."

She picked up the towel as he stood and walked towards where she instructed. She handed it to him and turned to face the cabinets after he took it from her. He was grateful she didn't look at him other than professionally. He walked to the door and opened it, flipping on the light switch to the right of the door. He entered the small bathroom and closed the door behind him. The floor had white tile, the walls were white, and there was a stand in shower at the back with glass behind a white shower curtain. Next to the shower was a small, white bathtub. To the left of the door was a white toilet and to the right was a small bathroom sink with a mirror along the top of the sink and as tall as the ceiling. Ritsuka locked the door and set the towel on the counter. He staggered back a step at his reflection. His violet eyes seemed duller, a more bluish color than the usual violet. His ears were caked in dried blood as well as his hair and his hand went up to touch the right one that had a chip on the top left. He hissed when his fingers brushed it. Then he brought his hands down and looked at them, his hands were coated in dried blood making him feel sick to his stomach. He stared at the blood on his hands and then his eyes moved to the deep slashes on his forearm, the blood had already dried on his arms. He looked down to see that his black boxers had spots of blood on them as well, making them stiff in places. His legs were also coated in dried blood, but his right leg had fresh, warm, blood on it and Ritsuka pressed his hand to the gash in his side feeling blood seep through his fingers and blood run down his side, hip, and leg.

He blinked, feeling himself sway with dizziness and his other hand grabbed the counter of the sink on reflex. He let out a painful growl as the pain started to set in and took a few, shaky breaths. He removed his hand from the wound and turned to the shower, opening it and pulling the curtain back. He didn't bother to remove his boxers, the pain and the haziness in his mind making it so that he didn't really care. He turned the showerhead on after closing the glass door. He only turned on the hot water, wanting to get the blood and dirt off of his skin. He was reluctant to take the rag hanging from a small hook under the showerhead, he really didn't want to wash his and Soubi's blood from his body, it wasn't the only thing he would most likely have left of his fighter now.

As the hot water slowly managed to remove most of the blood and grime from his body he turned his head up and closed his eyes to allow the hot water to caress all of his skin. He let his mind wander, _'I really did come to consider him my fight, I think I even came to love him, but I never got to figure out what that truly meant . . . giving yourself completely to someone, that's what he always seemed to think love was . . . '_

He hung his head and using the rag, gently, yet without really thinking about it he scrubbed the blood from his skin and turned off the shower head. He refused to watch the blood drain and opened the shower door and stepped out walking over to the sink and taking his towel. He quickly dried himself off and after towel drying his hair he dried his tail as well. He shivered once the heat from the shower faded, he hadn't realized how cold this place was. He walked out of the bathroom after unlocking the door and saw the nurse putting some things into the container she had set on the ground. She stood up and turned to grab something else from the cabinet and smiled at him, "That was quick, do you feel any better?"

Ritsuka nodded and walked back over to the bed, he closed his eyes at the sight of his own blood on the bed and cringed. The nurse faced him again after setting some gauge in the pink box and said, "I'm sorry, I should have changed the sheets." She quickly removed the sheets and blanket and set them on the ground in front of where the sink was in the middle of the cabinet. She then reached up in the cabinet just above the sink and took out some fresh sheets and a blanket. She set them on the counter and smiled at him as she faced him again, "Let's have a look at those injuries, please, sit down."

Ritsuka nodded once more and took a seat on the bed again setting the towel next to him. She nodded to him and then she washed her hands and dried them before opening a drawer on her right and taking a pair of latex gloves from the drawer and putting them on. She took the towel and tossed it over her shoulder into the pile of the soiled sheets and blanket. She then knelt down in front of him again and took a brown bottle of disinfectant from the box next to her and a few cotton balls. She opened the bottle and then put the cotton ball on the mouth of the bottle and shook the bottle to put some of the medicine on the cotton ball.

She looked at him and said apologetically, "This is going to sting a bit, okay?"

Ritsuka nodded and she set to work. He bit his lip every time the medicine touched his wounds. She finished quickly, working diligently to get it over with, a look of apology passed over her every time Ritsuka bit into his bottom lip. Once she was finished she closed the bottle and put it and the cotton balls into her box. She then took a small white tube from the box and popped the cap open. She squeezed some of the grayish contents onto her fingers and started to dab it on his wounds. It felt cooling, and sticky on his skin. His hissed when she put some around both of his wrists. She whispered, "Sorry," then closed the tube and put it back. She then took some gauge and some medical tape out and carefully covered the wounds. When she finished wrapping his wrists with the gauge she put tape around his wrists once and then she stood up, placing the gauge and tape back as she did so.

Her eyes went to the gash on his side, she looked at it for a few moments and then she picked up her box and set it on the counter. She smiled at Ritsuka again, "Come stand over here."

Ritsuka stood up mindful of the slight sting from the tape on his skin and his wounds. He then walked over to her and stood before her. She took out a clear bottle of rubbing alcohol, she then gave another apologetic smile, "With a gash that deep, it would be better to use this. But it is going to sting more than the other medicine, especially because that nasty gash is deeper."

Ritsuka nodded and set the bottle on the counter and took off her gloves putting them in her box and then took out another pair of gloves. Once she put them on she opened the bottle and took more cotton balls out. She poured the alcohol on the cotton balls over the sink and then she turned and knelt down in front of him to clean the wound. Ritsuka flushed with embarrassment at how close she was to his boyhood, so he still called it in his mind. She didn't seem to notice and he completely forgot his embarrassment when he felt a burning sting on that gash in his side.

He brought his hand to his mouth and bit down on his knuckles to stifle the moan of pain he felt. His tail subconciously tried to wrap around his waist, but his other hand caught it before it could and it wrapped tightly around his arm while his ears flattened on top of his head. She tried to be gentle and quick, but it still hurt. She stood up once she finished cleaning it and took more gauge and tape to bandage the wound. She had to kneel to do that as well and when she stood up she looked at him with a warm smile as he removed his hand from his mouth and his tail released his arm.

"Okay, now the worst part is over, but I still need to get the wounds on your back and legs. So have a seat on the bed again."

Ritsuka nodded and sat down on the bed again. She took the brown bottle and tube out again with some cotton balls, the gauge, and the tape. She knelt down in front of him again and set her supplies on the bed next to him. She made quick work on the five or six slashes on his legs and then instructed him to sit with his back facing her so she could get the wound on his back. He did as she asked and she cleaned the slash from his right shoulder blade crossing to the middle of his back, then she cleaned the slash from the middle of his back, crossing to the small of his back. He jumped when she cleaned the bottom of the wound that touch the small of his back, his tail and ear twitching. He flushed at the action and she ignored it. She quickly bandaged the two slashes and then she stood up, "Alright then, I will get you some pain medicine and something to help you sleep." She took off her gloves and placed everything back in her box then took the clothes she had gotten earlier and held them out to him, "Here, you put that on while I get some medication for you."

Ritsuka took the clothes from her and pulled on the shirt as she took her pink container and walked back to the room on the left. He pulled on the pants, they were a little baggy on him, and the shirt was a little loose, but he didn't mind. She returned in a few minutes with two prescription bottles in her hand and took a small paper cup from the cabinet to the immediate left of the one she had opened earlier. She used the sink water to fill the cup and then she held the cup and the two pills out to him. He took the cup and pills and took them then handed her the cup.

She smiled, "Okay, you can lay down on one of the other beds since I need to change the sheets. Try to get some sleep."

Ritsuka moved across the bed and stood to walk the few steps to the middle bed. He sat down on it after pulling the blanket and sheet back and looked at her before lying down. She looked up at him with a warm smile as she was putting the clean sheets on the bed. He made to say something and with a scratchy, hoarse, and surprisingly weak voice said, "Thank you."

She smiled warmly at him, "Your welcome."

Ritsuka made to lay down again, but before he laid his head on the pillow he looked at her again. She finished making the bed before she noticed he was looking at her and smiled again, "Yes?"

"What's your name," his voice a tab bit less scratchy and hoarse, but still just as weak.

"Michelle, do you mind telling me yours?"

Ritsuka gave a small shake of his head, "Ritsuka."

She nodded with the same warm smile, then she walked over to him and soothingly smoothed his ears down saying, "Well go to sleep Ritsuka-kun."

Ritsuka laid his head down, laying on his back because of his wounds. She tucked him in and kissed his forehead in a motherly notion. He closed his eyes and heard her walk away and gather up the soiled clothes on the ground before she walked away. He soon drifted off the sleep from exhaustion and the medicine setting in.


	7. Ch 6: Lacrimosa

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless.  
_**

_Agonizing, yet numbing  
Paralyzing, yet invigorating  
Pulling you down into the darkness  
Is the torment stronger  
Than the desire to love, to feel  
To survive . . .  
_

**_Lacrimosa  
_**

Ritsuka woke feeling warm, calm, and at easy. Then he stirred to try to sit up and his eyes flew open and he brought his fist to his mouth in pain. He couldn't manage more than lifting his head. After the pain subsided his eyes scanned his surroundings. Everything around him was white, like a nurses office . . . He closed his eyes tightly as the heart clenching memories from last night came crashing in on him.

He tensed against his will and felt his tail curl around his leg under the thick mass of blankets. His body curled in on itself as much as his injuries would allow defensively. His mind flooded with dark thoughts.

_My mother burned alive and I nearly did as well, I should have died with her for failing to save her from a fate that wasn't her fault and one she didn't deserve. Then Yuiko, her parents killed the same way from an explosion._

He felt hot tears seeping through his closed eyes. _I don't even know if she's alright, and Yaiyo. What was Seime doing there? Why was he there? What about . . . Sou- . . . S-Sou . . . Soubi,_ a painful lump formed in his throat, his heart felt as though someone had grabbed it with a fist as he said his name in his mind. More tears ran down his eyes, his ears flattening against his head and his tail curling painfully around his leg. He broke out into a few sobs that made his body throb in pain.

Michelle stirred from her sleeping place on the couch when she heard the muffled sobs outside her office. She blinked back the grogginess in her sleep hazed eyes and sat up. She then rose to her feet and straightened the work clothes she had changed into the night before. She'd showered while her new patient was asleep. When she had first seen him in the horrible state he had been in, with that distant, fearful, and sorrowful look in his eyes, she had felt the rage, a blood boiling anger to lash out and kill Kasame-sensei. As much as she loathed the twisted teachers and their just as twisted students in most cases, she could bring herself to leave. She wanted to help as many as she could, wanted to help those like the young man that came into her line of sight as she walked over to her office door.

Her eyes fell on his shaking, trembling form and she had to blink back the tears in her eyes. She calmly walked over to him, but he didn't seem to notice her footsteps or approach. She knelt down next to the side of the bed he was facing and reached out. She stroked his hair softly, and he tensed at the contact. She gasped when his eyes opened and met hers. She couldn't supress the tears that fell from her eyes at the sorrow and guilt glazed, bluish violet eyes. Sobs still racked his lithe form and she lightly brushed his bangs from his face and continued to stroke her fingers through his hair in a motherly gesture.

A few moments later his sobs lessened and he took in trembling breaths to try and calm himself. She brushed the tears from his cheek with her thumb and smiled softly at him. She couldn't begin to describe the compassion she felt for this young man, something seemed to draw her to him. She slowly got to her feet and said, "You just lie there and try to rest. You still have a lot of healing to do and I don't want you straining yourself."

He nodded and she walked back to her office, leaving the door open in case he called for her. She walked over behind her desk in front of the back wall and opened the top drawer on the left. She took out a thick ring of keys and closed the drawer. Then she locked it with a small brass key, walked over to the filing cabinets lined against the wall across from the couch and locked them as well. She walked out of her office and was about to close the door behind her when she remembered the small radios sitting atop her desk. She walked back, grabbed the radios and walked out of the office locking the door behind her. She then walked softly to Ritsuka's bedside and knelt down in front of him once more.

As soon as she reached for him his eyes opened again, she smiled and set the small, black, radio on the bed close to his hand. "Use this to get in touch with me if you need me. I need to go and run some errands, but I am locking the door behind me. Alright?"

Ritsuka nodded not feeling up to talking or being angered by her childishly kind voice. He grasped the radio and she stood up. He held the radio close and she nodded, "I will try to get back soon."

Then she turned and walked over to the door and walked out of it, a few seconds after she closed the door he heard the click of the lock. He sighed and after a few painful attempts managed to sit up in the bed. He looked around for a moment while he pushed down the pain and folded the blanket off and at his ankles. He shifted and moved himself to the edge of the bed. He then set his bare feet on the cold, tile floor and felt a shiver run up his spine. He took one of his blankets and wrapped it around his shoulder, holding it with his good arm. He then stood up, unsteadily at first, but after a few deep breaths he calmed.

He walked over to the bathroom first and after relieving himself then washing and drying his hands he walked out of the bathroom and looked at the door across from him. He walked over to it and tried the door, but it was locked. He sighed, _Figures it would be locked._ He walked back over to his bed and sat on the edge. Even though his mind was still hazed with the shock of everything that had happened, if there was one thing he remembered learning from Soubi, it was how to think, even if in a haze. They hadn't fought for and won against the cursed school he was currently in for nothing.

Kio stood, frozen in his shared studio with Soubi, the phone having fallen from a numb hand, which was now at his side. He saw the others in the studio watching him, they had all turned to him when his phone had rang. They were concerned with the tall blond not being present lately. Kio blinked and shook himself out of his haze, his mind working quickly.

_If Seime is back in town, that's trouble. But Soubi in the hospital? And Seime was the one to call them, what in the hell was going on?_

As he worried over his friend and the nurse telling him that he had finally made it out of surgery and was currently in I.C.U. He couldn't think of anything, but then rage filled him at Seime's return. He still loathed the man for the way he had treated Soubi, and the confusion and hurt he had caused Ritsuka after their visit to that damn school.

_Ritsuka! Where was Ritsuka? If Soubi was in the hospital, surely it was most likely because he had been protecting him. If he was so badly hurt to be in I.C.U. then Ritsuka could be hurt as well! Or worse, Septimal Moon could have him._

Kio picked up his phone, grabbed his jacket hanging off the back of his chair, and pulled his keys out of his pocket as he briskly crossed the room and went to the door. He heard one of the girls shout out, "Kio-san, where are you going?"

Kio said over his shoulder as he waved her off and headed out the door, "Family emergency."

He dashed down the hall of the building and out the fire exit too impatient and adrenaline fueling his unusually not very fit body to run down the five flights of stairs and across the lobby in a mad dash to his car in the parking lot.

Seime wasn't permitted to see Soubi, he had to answer seemingly endless questions about the fire that caused the death of his own mother and the explosion that had caused the death of his brother's friend Yuiko's parents. He also had to answer questions about his disappearance and his obviously '_faked_' death years ago. So he now sat in a stuffy office with only a chair and two tables at the police station. He wasn't going through this for Soubi, with his mother dead and his father having left shortly after he heard she was dead and Ritsuka was missing, he was dealing with everything so that he could get custody of his younger brother. He was, after all, now his only living relative.

Yuiko sat in the waiting room of the I.C.U. with Yaiyo, she refused to leave even after Yaiyo's parents had arrived. She said that she wanted to know if Soubi was alright and would wait so that she could ask where Ritsuka was. She had cried herself to sleep and slept on the uncomfortable plastic chair nest to Yaiyo. She had woken abruptly when a doctor came to inform them that Soubi would be alright. Then they asked if there was anyone that they could call. Yaiyo had answered quickly, telling them Kio was Soubi's best friend.

So now they sat waiting for Kio to arrive. It was nearly thirty minutes after they had spoken to the doctor when Kio ran into the waiting room, out of breath. Yuiko burst into tears at the sight of him and Yaiyo stood and waved once to get his attention.

Kio walked briskly over to them and looked from the crying Yuiko to the stoic Yaiyo. It always caught him off guard how much the jealous, love sick, shy boy had changed. He now stood eye to eye with Kio, his long silver tipped hair was down to his waist. He still had his ears and tail, but Kio didn't mind in the least. He still wore glasses, but the eyes behind them hid an hidden knowledge and something he couldn't place when their eyes met. Not only that, but Yaiyo had become more confident and had apparently gotten over his crush on Yuiko. He was still shy, but he tried to hide it most of the time. Kio recalled the few conversations they had and remembered how intellectual the younger man had been. He averted his gaze and said with a calm voice that startled even himself, "How is Soubi?"

Yaiyo motioned to the chair across from where Yuiko sat, Kio sat down and Yaiyo sat down next to him. Yaiyo looked at him, but refused to meet his eyes, "Soubi is going to be fine. He has a lot of injuries, and his lungs were nearly caved in, but they managed to save him. They can't say how long he will be in I.C.U. but they assured us that he would be alright."

Kio nodded, "Good," he said with a half relieved sigh. Then his thoughts drifted to the other person he was concerned for, and not just because he knew how much Soubi cared for him.

"What about Ritsuka, do you know what is going on?"

Yaiyo lowered his gaze, "Ritsuka is missing and I have no idea what is going on."

Kio sighed again and leaned forward to rest his arms on his knees while he hung his head. He closed his eyes for a moment to clear his mind, but of course, it didn't help him at all. They sat in silence lost to their own thoughts. It wasn't until an hour later that a doctor came down to them and then asked to speak to Kio privately, considering that he was the only one they could find that was listed on emergency contacts for Soubi.

They sat in a small conference room and the doctor sat across the small table from Kio. Kio sat in silence waiting for the doctor to begin. The doctor was in his mid forties, brown hair, brown eyes, tan skin, average build and height. He had said his name was Dr. Leverre, he was originally from America, though he didn't seem to have any trouble speaking Japanese.

"Well, Agatsuma-san will recover in a short while, his injuries seem to be recoverying fast. He should be fine in a few days if he continues to heal the way he has been. So the only thing we will need from you is some signatures for further treatment and an explanation as to what happened to him."

Kio sighed, "Look, I don't know what happened to him."

"I find that hard to believe Kaidou-san, you are on record to have brought Agatsuma-san is on several occasions and it was discussed that you were also the one to take care of him as well. So if you know anything, we want to know what that is."

Kio stood up and took his glasses off and cleaned them with his shirt, then he put them back on and walked over to the door. He looked at the doctor while his hand was on the door handle, "I'm sorry I can't help you, you will have to ask him."

Kio walked out of the room and addressed the woman behind the desk. He asked to see Soubi, which after he showed his I.D. she gave him a sign in sheet and a tag to clip to his shirt. He was already headed to see Soubi when the doctor tried to address him once more.

Ritsuka woke up suddenly upon hearing the door open, he couldn't really remember falling asleep. He calmed down when he saw that it was Michelle. She smiled at him warmly, "Ritsuka-kun, did you have a nice nap?"

He nodded and she walked over to his bed and felt his forehead, "Your fever is gone, I came in here earlier and you were asleep and running a fever. Do you know why you were brought here?"

Ritsuka shook his head, surprised that he didn't hurt as much as before. He looked at his bandaged arms and then back at her. She smiled, "Well, in this school, we are taught to use more than medicine to heal. I'm sure you're aware of those methods, you seem to be able to do so."

Ritsuka shook his head, "No, I don't . . . "

She nodded, "Ahh, I see, someone you know knew how to do so and must have taught you without you realizing."

Ritsuka looked at her confused, "Without my knowing?"

She laughed lightly, "Why yes, see when you fight with someone, in these battles, the sacrifice can pick up on the fighter's abilities if the bound is strong enough. Using hypnosis to heal is complex, but it can be taught through this method. Considering your confusion, your fighter must have taught you how to use the method subconsciously."

Ritsuka hung his head, "I guess so, but he isn't . . . "

Michelle placed a hand on his shoulder, "It's alright Ritsuka-kun, I heard about what happened."

Ritsuka closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, he looked back at her, "I, do you know why they wanted me here so much?"

She sat down on his bed and nodded, "Yes, but I'm sure you already know why, Loveless."

Ritsuka turned his head away from her and glared at the wall, "Yes," he said with an angry tone. He looked back at her, "I know what they have said is their reason, because I am Loveless, but that doesn't explain why they would go to such lengths."

She nodded, "I agree, I suppose it may be because you are special. Not only are you able to create such a strong bond with a fighter that shares no real name with anyone. But you have the abilities of a sacrifice and of a fighter. No one knows for sure which to classify you as. They wanted to bring you here to figure that out, according to what they said."

Ritsuka scoffed, "Well, it seems that they refuse to see me as only Loveless. It also sounds as though they want me here as a test subject or such."

She nodded once more, "Yes, I guess it does sound that way. But a word of warning, Ritsuka-kun, considering what lengths they went to to finally get you here it may be more dangerous to rebel against them. I don't believe they will keep from bringing you harm, they have done so to other students in this school."

Ritsuka nodded and after a few moments of silence he looked at her, "How long have you been here, Michelle-san?"

She smiled, "Hmm, well I am older than I look, I have been here for ten years or so."

Ritsuka smiled, "Did you know Sou . . ." he still couldn't bring himself to say the name out loud.

She nodded, "Yes, that is why I am warning you not to underestimate them. I was the one to tend to the wounds he recieved at this school from Ritsu-sensei."

Ritsuka nodded and she stood up, she walked over to her office door and said over her shoulder; "Ritsuka-kun, I'm afraid I can do nothing more than tend to your wounds. I'm not in the position to stop them. The way that you are healing, I may have to release you tomorrow. For now, just try to rest up."

He nodded, "Arigato, Michelle-san."

She smiled and then entered her office. Ritsuka sighed and threw the covers off him and got to his feet. He walked over to the bathroom once again and closed and locked the door behind him. He leaned on the sink with his back against the counter and started to undo the bandages around his wrists. Once he removed them he was surprised to see that they were healed, a shade darker than the rest of his skin, scars. He ran each thumb over the darkened skin to find that they were smooth. He removed the rest of the bandages, except for the deepest wounds. It was the same as the cuts around his wrists, the skin darker than his pale skin, but smooth. It seemed that he would have scars. It was different this time, why did he have scars from that battle when he didn't have scars from them before? He brought his hand over the wound in his side and applied a little pressure, he didn't feel the usual burning pain. He pulled his shirt up over the bandage and pealed it off, the skin there was darkened where the wound was, but it was healed.

He removed the remaining bandage and found the same thing. He threw away all the bandages and exited the bathroom. He walked up to the office door and knocked on it lightly. Michelle looked up and then said, "Come in."

He opened the door and looked at her sitting behind her desk, "Michelle-san, c-could you look at the wounds on my back?"

She nodded and rose to her feet, then she walked behind him to his bed. He sat down and she lifted his shirt carefully pulled the bandages off his back. He shivered when he felt her lightly run her fingers over the wounds. She then pulled back and said, "Ritsuka-kun, it seems you have healed even more since I last examined your wounds. I need to look at the rest of your wounds."

He nodded and stood, an embarassed flush colored his cheeks as he removed the pants and sat back down on the bed facing her. She quickly removed the last of the bandages and he saw that they were the same. But he still had scars and was confused about that. She stood back up and looked at him, "It seems you are fine to be released right now. I can't keep you here for scars I'm afraid."

He nodded, "So what do I do now?"

She sighed, "Well, I have to call Kasame-sensei and let him know that you are alright to be released. He will come here to get you."

Ritsuka nodded, an uneasy feeling settling in his gut at the thought of being around Kasame-sensei again. He hung his head and gazed at the floor and asked softly, "Why did they scar"  
Michelle took in a deep breath, "It would seem that the one you fought against was strong enough to leave scars. Sometimes that happens when you loose a battle. You've never lost?"

Ritsuka shook his head, "Not when I was with him."

She nodded, "Well, that's why you never scarred, but since you lost, you have scars. I'm sure not all of them came from the battle though."

Ritsuka nodded and bit his lip, he expected those to scar. She walked back to her office and closed the door behind her. Ritsuka put the pants back on and sat on the bed facing the door. He wanted to cry, wanted to scream, but for some reason, the feeling of loosing Soubi prevented the tears now. That emptiness, something not even Seime's sudden appearance could diminish, rendered him incapable of crying anymore. Now he was alone, now he would have to get himself out of this situation on his own. He knew how it was to be alone, but when it came to his mother, it had been different than the loneliness and true helplessness he felt now. So now he sat doing the only thing he could for the moment, wait.


	8. Ch 7: Fighter

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless or the thumbnails, those are possessions of Kouga-san.**

_Alone in the shadows  
Silently seeking refuge  
Looking for the way  
To freedom and feeling  
_

_**Fighter . . .  
**_

Ritsuka felt more than uneasy, he was nervous and unsettled. He let the unpleasant feelings help to push down the knife in his heart, he tried to push down the depressing thoughts of loosing Soubi. He now satin the same office as before, in Kasame-sensei's dimly lit office. Michelle had walked with him there, but had said with a forlorn look that she couldn't stay with him while he waited. Ritsuka scanned the books on the shelves and noticed the sunlight coming from the dark curtains meaning it was daylight outside. He longed to go outside, try and find a way to escape this place. He had only been in the office for half an hour and was starting to feel restless and antsy, his foot tapped unconsciously on the floor.

He jumped slightly when the door opened and craned his neck to see Kasame-sensei walk into the room. He offered a slight smile before closing the door behind him and walking over to his desk to sit down behind it. Ritsuka watched him but still refused to meet the man's eyes. The nervous, uneasy, and unsettled feeling rose in him with a vengeance, but he fought to control his expression. He had become quite adept at doing so throughout the last four years.

Kasame-sensei cleared his throat and looked at his computer screen, "Aoyagi-kun, while you were recovering we made a scheldule for you. Considering your special case, we may change your schedule accordingly. You will begin training as a fighter unit for one week and we will go from there to determine further actions. I believe I should allow you to choose who you wish to be your instructor as payment for the harsh conditions of which you were brought here. But don't expect the same treatment from other instructors."

Ritsuka glared at the man, he held back the urge to laugh dryly that they were giving him a choice of instructors. His ears flattened against his head when the man met his glare, Ritsuka averted his eyes and looked past him focusing on the curtains.

Kasame-sensei sighed, "Aoyagi-kun, you are a very sought after student. But I narrowed down the instructors that requested to teach you to three. Your choices are myself, Ritsu-sensei, and an instructor named Ryoko sensei. All three of us have the ability to train fighter units and sacrifices."

Ritsuka's ears perked up with anger, but still his expression remained impassive. He narrowed his eyes at the curtains not wanting to meet Kasame-sensei's eyes. He cleared his throat and calmed himself so that the anger wouldn't appear in his voice. He then said with a emotionless tone, "Anyone other than you or Ritsu-sensei would be fine with me."

Kasame-sensei winced very slightly, seemingly anger and a little hurt by the statement. He nodded, "Very well Aoyagi-kun, as you wish. I will escort you to see your new Sensei and then he will show you around the school and where you will be staying."

Ritsuka gave a curt nod and rose, Kasame-sensei sighed, "But you should know, fighter unit's are trained differently if they don't have a sacrifice. They are taught personally by their instructors and do not engage in classes with other students."

Ritsuka nodded once more but said nothing. He expected as much from what Soubi had told him of his experience from this school. Kasame-sensei stood and walked over to his door, he held it open for Ritsuka who passed through and waited in the hall. After closing the door they headed further down the hallway and turned to the right at the end before walking past ten doors on each side. Ritsuka recognized this to be where he and Soubi had once been when they had come to the school together looking for answers about Seime. They passed through the hallway and came to another on their left which they walked down. There was only six doors, yet the hallway was as long as the other. They passed by two doors on their left and then Kasame-sensei stopped. He knocked lightly on the door.

"Ryoko-sensei, it's Kasame-sensei with your new student."

There was movement inside the room behind the door and a few seconds later the door opened. Ritsuka glanced at the man and couldn't pull his gaze away. Ritsuka could immediately tell that this man was the same height as Soubi. He had long, deep red hair that reached a few inches past shoulder length. He had pale, crystalline, green eyes, eyes that seemed to look right through him. His skin was pale, and he looked athletically built, yet slender, if it wasn't for the sly smile and the unnerving look in his eyes, Ritsuka would say he looked attractive.

Ritsuka took in a deep, silent breath and finally pulled his eyes away from this teacher before him. He flinched when Kasame-sensei placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Ryoko-sensei, this is . . . "

"Aoyagi Ritsuka, yes I know," Ryoko-sensei said with a cold voice that sent a shiver down Ritsuka's spine. Kasame-sensei released Ritsuka's shoulder, "Well then, I guess I will leave you two to get more acquainted. Take care," then he turned and headed down the hallway. Ritsuka almost moved to follow him not wanting to be left alone with this creepy man.

He closed his eyes momentarily and tried to calm down, his eyes flew open when cold, slender fingers seized his wrist and pulled him into the room. Ritsuka bit his lip to suppress a yelp and nearly tripped over the doorway. Ryoko-sensei pulled him to the chair in front of his desk and shoved Ritsuka down into the chair. Then he walked over to his door and closed it. Ritsuka watched the man closely, wary of the man's actions.

Ryoko-sensei walked around his desk and sat down in the black chair behind it. He then leaned forward, propping his elbow up on the desk and resting his chin in his palm. Ritsuka knew the man was watching him, possibly leering at him. He looked around the room, it was nearly the same as Kasame-sensei's. The difference was the second couch across from the one next to the bookshelf. The bookshelf to the right was smaller and up against a tall black safe that made Ritsuka feel even more wary of the man watching him.

"Like what you see Ritsuka-kun?"

Ritsuka glared at the man and retorted before thinking, "Don't call me that, you don't know me."

The man snickered, though his voice was cold and the snicker dry. He continued to watch Ritsuka closely, "Maybe not, but as far as I am concerned 'Ritsuka-kun', your 'my' student and I can address you as I see fit."

Ritsuka's tail swished angrily and his violet eyes flashed with anger as well, "I'm not your anything. I don't belong to anyone, especially at this school, and especially not you."

Ryoko-sensei chuckled and stood, Ritsuka flinched back in the chair. Ryoko leaned on the desk with his hands on the surface. His eyes, expression, and voice still cold as ice, emotionless, "I will very well change that Ritsuka-kun."

Ritsuka knew he shouldn't, but he laughed dryly and glared at the man, "Is that a threat?"

Ryoko-sensei smiled, "Why yes, it very well is, I'm glad you're so intelligent Ritsuka-kun."

Ritsuka bit his bottom lip to stifle his comeback, he didn't want to invoke this man more than he already had. Ryoko-sensei stood up straight and walked around his desk and to the door. He held it open and said, "Let me show you around your new home, Ritsuka-kun."

Ritsuka stood and his tail wrapped around his waist before he could stop it. He walked past Ryoko-sensei and waited in the hallway. Once he heard the door close he stepped away from the man and followed him back down the way he had come before with Kasame-sensei. Ritsuka flinched when a loud bell, like the one he heard at school sounded through the building.

Ryoko-sensei grabbed his wrist and pulled him to stand against the wall. Ritsuka wrenched his arm away and stood an arms length away from the man. He heard the man scoff and Ritsuka watched the students pass through the hallway. He watched them indifferently as they looked from the man next to him to him before continuing on.

He looked up when he heard, "Ritsuka-kun!" He saw the male zero's looking at him with amused expressions. Ritsuka moves from leaning against the wall and sighs, "You two are still here?"

They both laugh and then look at Ritsuka, Natsuo grins, "So they finally caught you did they," he says with a chuckle.

Before Youji can cut in Ritsuka says, "You two are still as cold and blunt as ever."

The two exchange amused glances and then Natsuo wraps a arm around Ritsuka's shoulder, "You have changed, you're even cuter than you were the last time we saw you."

Ritsuka shoves Natsuo's arm off his shoulder and steps away from them. Youji laughs, "It would seem your mother finally toughened you up."

Ritsuka glares at him and then the two laugh again. Suddenly Ryoko-sensei cuts in, "Don't you two have something to do?"

Ritsuka smiles at the glares the two send Ryoko-sensei's way, then Youji says, "Don't you?"

Ryoko-sensei smiles coldly and grabs hold of Ritsuka's wrist again, Ritsuka tries to pull away, but the grip becomes painfully tighter and he winces. Youji and Natsuo exchange worried glances and then look at Ritsuka. They walked past him and Natsuo says softly while brushing a hand over Ritsuka's shoulder, "Take care Ritsuka-kun."

Ritsuka glanced at their retreating backs feeling even more uneasy about his new teacher. He staggered when he was pulled further down the hallway. He nodded upon seeing the Breathless and Sleepless pairs but said nothing to them. They stopped suddenly at the end of the hallway and Ryoko-sensei finally released him. Ritsuka rubbed at his wrist with his other hand and glared at the teacher.

Ryoko opened the door they stood in front of, it was the last room on the right. He nodded to Ritsuka, "This is where you will be staying Ritsuka-kun. I will come back when it is time for dinner, do not leave this room."

Ritsuka scoffed and felt himself pushed through the doorway, he turned to glare at the teacher, but t he door was closed in his face. He kicked the door and faced his room. He noticed that there were two beds in the small room, two desks with small lamps on them and computers on them as well. There was a bookshelf along the left wall and a small couch across the room from that. The beds were placed under two windows with the desks next to them and a bedside table in between them with a biege lamp on it. Ritsuka looked at the door and noticed the light switch to the right of the door, he flipped it on.

He walked over to the bed on his right and sat down on the edge of it with a huff. The pillows on the bed were white, the sheets white, and the blankets on top were a light blue. He laid back on the bed with his legs over the edge and stared at the ceiling. He closed his eyes and thought to himself; _'I guess I will just have to endure this until I can better explore this place. But I don't really like Ryoko, he seems creepy, cruel, and cold, and I only spent a short amount of time with him. I was surprised that Ritsu is still here, he had his eyes gauged out by Seime, yet he's still a teacher? I wish Soubi were here . . . Soubi . . . '_

Kio jumped when Soubi sat up abruptly in his bed, he got to his feet and eased his best friend to lie down. Only an hour ago he had been released from I.C.U. because his injuries were healing fast. Glazed blue eyes looked over at Kio once he laid back down.

Kio sighed and put a hand over his heart and took deep breaths to calm his racing heart at the scare Soubi had given him. Soubi opened his mouth and licked his lips, his voice raspy and hoarse when he asked, "Where's Ritsuka?"

Kio sighed again and looked at the ground, "Sou-chan, Ritsuka was taken . . ." He looked up and met Soubi's worried blue eyes, "Seven Moons, or Septimal Moon, whatever, they have him Soubi."

Soubi tried to sit up, but Kio held him down on the bed, "Sou-chan, you can't go after him in your condition."

Soubi continued to try and get up and finally conceded considering that he couldn't even push Kio off of him. Soubi closed his eyes for a moment, "I have to get to him Kio, I can't let them keep him."

Kio nodded, "Yeah, I know, but right you need to recover. What woke you up anyway?"

Soubi sighed, "Ritsuka, I heard him call for me."

Kio nodded, "Alright, if you say so."

Soubi looked at his friend, he could tell that there was more he wanted to say, something he wasn't telling him. Soubi glared at Kio, "What are you not telling me?"

Kio smiled, "Nothing, just get some rest. Now that your awake I am going to go get some grub, want anything?"

Kio got to his feet and turned away from the bed to leave, Soubi grabbed his wrist, "Kio."

Kio sighed and hung his head, "It's not that important."

Soubi tightened his grip on his friends wrist, "Kio, tell me."

Kio pulled his hand away, "Seime has returned again."

Soubi looked up at the ceiling, "What else?"

Kio faced him again, "Soubi, you did your best, but I heard something from Seime, that Ritsuka was hurt when he left. That guy you two were fighting threatened to kill Seime and Ritsuka went with him. That was nearly three days ago. Yuiko-chan's parents died and she's staying with Yaiyo-kun. They are alright and no more attempts have been made. They have what they want right?"

Soubi sighed and closed his eyes, "Yes, but I am sure they didn't want me to live."

Kio nodded, "Yeah, well I figured as much considering how close to death you were when Seime brought you here."

"Seime . . . where is he now?"

Kio shrugged, "I have no idea, haven't seen him myself, I just know he brought you here. You'll have to talk to Rit-chan's friends."

Soubi nodded, "Thanks Kio."

Kio smiled and waved him off heading to the door to leave, "Yeah, yeah, you sure you don't want anything to eat?"

Soubi sighed, "The usual."

Kio smiled at him from the door, "Gotcha, be back in a few," Kio walked out and closed the door quietly behind him.

Soubi continued to look up at the ceiling, he wasn't all that concerned about his injuries. His mind was drifting to worrying about Ritsuka. _'He's been there for three days already, yet I didn't feel the connection until now. It doesn't matter, I have to get him out of there. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you Ritsuka . . . '_

Ritsuka opened his eyes at the sound of a Soubi's voice in his mind, _'I'm sorry I couldn't protect you Ritsuka . . . '_ Ritsuka sat up and looked over to the window, it was getting dark outside. He stood and walked over to the window and pulled back the curtain. He gazed up at the darkening sky and said softly, "Soubi, I need you here with me."

Soubi opened his eyes and looked to the window, he'd heard the soft spoken words. He whispered to himself, "I will come for you Ritsuka, I promise."

Ritsuka laughed softly at the words he heard in Soubi's voice in his mind, "Right, you suck at keeping promises. Are you really alive, Soubi?"

Soubi chuckled, he loved the sound of Ritsuka's laughter, the sound of his voice warmed his heart and made it ache at the same time because he really couldn't do anything feeling as weak as he currently felt. He answered back with a louder whisper, "I'm alive Ritsuka, I swear I will come for you, as soon as I am able. I'm sorry."

Ritsuka let go of the curtain and sat on the bed again, "Yeah, well hurry up." Ritsuka jumped when there was a knock at the door, "Ritsuka-kun, time to head to dinner."

Ritsuka cringed at the sound of Ryoko-sensei's voice, but he rose once again and walked over to the door. He held the door handle and glanced back at the window, _'Skidaiyo, Soubi,_' he thought before opening the door.

Soubi brought up his bandaged hand to his eyes, and couldn't blink back the tears that had escaped his eyes. He wiped them away and said aloud, "Skidaiyo, Ritsuka."

The Next Day

Ritsuka woke to the knocking on his door, he sat up and glared at the door then threw the covers off him and got out of the bed. He had slept in the new clothes that he found on the desk after dinner. They were navy blue jeans and a black t-shirt, he was also given black slippers and clean underclothes. Luckily he was given light blue boxers, he didn't care for underwear.

He opened the door and sighed when he saw that it was Natsuo and Youji, he stepped out of the way to allow them inside. They giggled and walked inside together and sat down on the empty bed as Ritsuka closed the door.

Ritsuka cover his mouth as he yawned and took a seat on the end of his bed. He ran his fingers through his hair and glared at them, "Why are you two here so early?"

They laughed and Ritsuka looked closer at them, his eyes widened when he noticed that their ears and tail were gone. He opened and closed his mouth to say something and shook his head deciding not to ask.

The laughed knowing what he was going to ask and then Natsuo jumped onto his bed and wrapped an arm around Ritsuka's shoulders.

"So, Ritsuka-kun, do you want to know how long ago we lost our ears?"

Ritsuka shook his head, "No, not really."

Youji laughed, "Well, too bad, we lost our ears a year or two ago. It would seem that you and Soubi haven't had sex yet."

Ritsuka blushed and looked away from them, "And?"

Natsuo hugged him and then let him go, "You're still so adorable Ritsuka-kun."

Youji glared at Natsuo then turned a serious look on Ritsuka, "Where is Soubi-san?"

Ritsuka sighed, "The hospital."

They laughed and then Natsuo said with a chuckle, "So the two of you were finally defeated, eh?"

Ritsuka huffed, "Obviously, or I wouldn't be here."

Youji smiled, "Ouch, you sure are snappy." Natsuo laughed, "Nah, he's just angsty."

The two of them stood up and walked to the door, then Natsuo turned and looked at Ritsuka with a serious look.

"I hope you have gotten a lot stronger Ritsuka-kun."

Youji finished with a laugh, "Yeah, 'cause Ryoko-sensei is a twisted fuck."

The two of them laughed and exited the room. Ritsuka shook his head at them and sighed while laying back on the bed, "Yeah, I felt as much." It was only a few hours later that another knock on the door woke him, he didn't even recall falling back to sleep. He sat up and walked over to the door. He opened it and had to hold back a grimace at Ryoko-sensei.

"Morning Ritsuka-kun, today we will begin with your lessons. Follow me."

Ritsuka hesitated but stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind him. He followed behind Ryoko-sensei as they headed back to his office. He had a bad feeling about this that only grew stronger the closer they got to their destination. When they finally arrived at the office, Ritsuka's ears were flat against his head, his expression unreadable, and his tail wrapped around his waist.

Ryoko-sensei opened the door and held it open for Ritsuka, Ritsuka walked into the room. Upon entering the room he felt a deep fear gripping at him and a voice in the back of his mind telling him to run away. He shuddered when the door closed behind Ryoko-sensei. He turned and faced him, watching him for any movement or suspicious actions.

Ryoko-sensei sighed and walked over to the safe in the corner of the room, he unlocked it after turning the dial a few times and opened the heavy door. Ritsuka's tail tightened around his waist and his hands started to tremble, but he kept his expression unreadable even though his violet eyes held some of the inner fear he felt.

Ryoko moved some things around and removed a black shoe box and set it on his desk. He then closed and relocked the safe. He opened the box and glanced at Ritsuka, "By all means Ritsuka-kun, sit down."

Ritsuka moved to the chair and sat down with both of his arms on the armrests, his hands gripping at them. Ryoko didn't sit, but he took what looked like leather straps from the box. Ritsuka got to his feet and jumped back from the desk, "What the hell is that for?"

Ryoko-sensei sighed, "Don't be so childish Ritsuka-kun, a fighter unit has to have a high tolerance to pain. The same goes for the sacrifice. I am going to teach you how to deal with pain so that you will be stronger."

Ritsuka shook his head once, "I don't think so."

Ryoko-sensei took one more leather strap from the box before walking around the desk and towards Ritsuka. He glared at him, his eyes cold, demanding, it made Ritsuka tremble and step back towards the door. Ryoko stopped and said with a voice that matched the look in his eyes, "You don't have a choice Ritsuka-kun, now we can do this the easy way, or the hard way."

Ritsuka shook his head again and backed up, into the door. His hand moved to find the doorknob and he tried to open it, but it was locked. Ritsuka's expression and his eyes were ones of pure fear. He tried the door but refused to turn his back on the man closing in on him.

Ryoko grabbed his wrist and Ritsuka violently tried to pull away only to have the other wrist seized as well. Ritsuka growled in anger and let out a whimper of pain when he was slammed against the door the doorknob digging into the right side of his back. Ryoko sighed and leaned forward to whisper in his ear, "Every room is sound proof, scream all you want, I'd love to hear you scream, Ritsuka-kun."

Ritsuka shuddered in disgust and anger at having the man so close to him. He pulled back when he was pulled back towards the desk and shoved down into the chair. He twisted and turned in the chair trying desperately to get away. But Ryoko-sensei's grip was painfully strong and he couldn't break away. Finally Ryoko-sensei let go of one of his wrists to tie down the other.

Ritsuka made a fist and swung hitting the man in the jaw in that moment of shock Ritsuka kicked the man in the groin and fell back in the chair. The breath knocked out of him, he still pulled the half done strap from his wrist and jumped to his feet. He turned and ran for the door and again tried to open it, but it would budge. He yelped when he felt a hot, searing pain across his back, then another, the next drawing blood and ripping his shirt open. He gritted his teeth to keep from crying out and didn't dare turn around to get hit in the face or across his back.

He was hit seven more times before he finally hit his knees, shaking with the pain. His lip had split open from him biting it and his fists were against the wall. He opened his eyes and winced as he forced himself to stand, he turned and glared at the man, his violet eyes tinted red with anger. Ritsuka jumped back into the wall when he saw the whip the man had hit him with coming towards him again.

Ryoko-sensei smirked and tried to hit him again, but Ritsuka moved aside. When he tried again Ritsuka raised his arm and let the whip wrap around his wrist this time grasping it in his fist. Ryoko-sensei showed a hint of suprise when Ritsuka pulled the whip out of his hand. Ritsuka threw the thing to the ground then Ritsuka backed away towards the door, he tried it again and then glaring said, "Let me out."

Ryoko-sensei smirked at the cold, demanding tone of voice and said, "No, you're lesson isn't finished yet, Ritsuka-kun."

Ritsuka's ear stood up and the end of his tail bristled in his anger, "The hell it isn't, let me out."

Ryoko-sensei smiled, "This is quite entertaining, I didn't know you had a violent side Ritsuka-kun. Either way, I am not letting you out." Ryoko-sensei walked towards Ritsuka and smirked as Ritsuka curled his hands into fists and tensed ready to fight back. Ryoko-sensei stopped within arms length of Ritsuka, "Are you going to fight me? Doesn't that go against everything you have ever said?"

Ritsuka tensed even more and then he looked away for a moment. When he looked back at the man, his eyes were a red-violet, rage evident in his expression. "I'm tired of letting others hurt me, so yes, I will fight back."

Ryoko-sensei laughed and then he lunged, Ritsuka stepped aside and backed away his fists raised. Ryoko moved again, swinging punches, but Ritsuka dodged them, he couldn't bring himself to swing back, his concious kept making him hesitate. Ryoko-sensei landed a punch to his face and a knee to his stomach forcing Ritsuka to stagger back and hold his stomach as he felt blood trickle down his chin. Ritsuka kept stepping back as more punches and kicks were aimed at him. He ducked a punch only to be hit with a knee to his chest making him fall on his back on the ground.

Then he felt a weight on him as Ryoko-sensei straddled him, sitting on his thighs. Ritsuka tensed when he saw a fist come towards him and turned his head to the side. Ryoko-sensei grabbed him by his hair and forced him to look at him.

"You said you would fight back, guess you don't have it in you." He let him go and got off him standing over him. Ritsuka thought it was over when he felt a kick to his side and turned over onto his side. He was kicked again and again and then he was seized by his hair and pulled to his knees. Ritsuka hissed when his head was pulled back and then he was let go only to be grabbed by the front of his shirt and pulled onto his feet. He gasped as the air was knocked out of him as he violently shoved against the wall.

Ryoko-sensei then leaned into him, pressing him against the wall with his body which brought a different kind of fear that outweighed his anger from before surfaced. Ryoko-sensei then said in his ear, "This lesson has only begun Ritsuka-kun."

He let him go and stepped away and Ritsuka fell to his hands and knees panting, a few seconds later he was grabbed by his hair again and his head pulled back to look at Ryoko-sensei.

"_Now_, you may go. Get out of my office you weak little boy."

Then Ritsuka was shoved back against the wall by his shoulder and Ryoko-sensei walked over to his door, unlocked it, and held it open. He said with his cold voice, "I will continue the lesson tomorrow, get to your feet and get out of here before I change my mind."

Ritsuka pushed himself to his feet using the wall for balance and walked over to the door. His expression stoic and his ears flattened against his head. He warily walked through the doorway and flinched violently when his wrist was seized, "Go and see Michelle-chan before you go back to your room, Ritsuka-kun."

Then he was shoved out into the hallway and the door was closed behind him. Ritsuka turned and headed to the nurses office, having to ask one of the students in the hall which way to go twice.

Ryoko-sensei sat down behind his desk and turned his computer on, he logged on and then clicked to send a new message to Kasame-sensei and Ritsu-sensei. The message read:

**_'Aoyagi-kun has already proven to be a skilled sacrifice, his pain tolerance is well enough already. However, I believe I can make it even better. He has the potential to be a powerful fighter, one that would rival even Agatsuma-kun. The main barrier is his determination not to do others harm. Suggestions to remedy this problem are welcome.'_**

He sent the message and only a few minutes later received a reply from both of the instructors. Kasame-sensei's reply:

_**'Ryoko-sensei, I am glad that he is proving to be worth the efforts it took to retrieve him. My suggestion on the problem would be to continue with your plan then follow that up with making him fight against another fighter, one on one. Keep me updated.'**_

He clicked to save it to his folder and then opened Ritsu-sensei's reply:

**_'That is interesting. I assume that Kasame-san will suggest to continue your methods and then make him fight another fighter one on one. If I may suggest asking Nagisa-sensei for one of her experiments for such a task, her fighter would prove to be a challenge for the young man. I look forward to proving your accusation of the young man being stronger than my student, Soubi-kun. Keep me update and don't become obsessed with the boy like you did your other students Ryoko-kun.'_**

Ryoko shook his head, "Where does he get off calling me kun?" He deleted the message and typed up another message requesting Nagisa-sensei to send him one of her fighter units in four days. After a few minutes the phone on his desk rang and he answered it with a indifferent tone, "Hai, Ryoko here."

"Ryoko-san, what the hell do you need one of my fighter's for? And why in four days? I don't owe you any favors."

Ryoko sighed and replied in a bored tone, "Ritsu-san recommended that I ask you for a fighter to help with my new student. Preferably one that knows Aoyagi Ritsuka and follows orders well."

She squeeled on the other end and he held the phone away from his ear for a moment. Then she said in a cheerful voice, "I know just the pair, of course, it will be a one on one battle?"

"Yes, in four days, in the library at noon."

"Of course, I got it, but you owe me Ryoko-san."

"Yes, very well Nagisa-chan," then he hung up on her. He then stared at his door lost in his thoughts.

'It would seem that what they thought was true, what an interesting young man. He has the abilities to be a sacrifice, and yet he is made to be a fighter. That look of rage in his eyes, the reddish color to them, intriguing. He will make a fine student, I wonder what it will take to make him fight back . . . "

He was pulled from his thoughts when his phone rang again. He picked it up, "Ryoko."

It was Kasame-sensei, "Ryoko-sensei, it would seem that Agatsuma-kun has arrived and that your student is headed towards him at this moment."

Ryoko-sensei hung up his phone and jumped over his desk and made it quickly to his door. He walked briskly towards the lobby and saw just as the lobby came into view that he was too late. Ritsuka was embraced by Soubi and Ryoko felt his blood boil with anger and jealousy, he was going to be the one to own the boy. His glare at Soubi was met evenly and with a glare from Ritsuka as well.

Ryoko took in a deep breath and school his features and his voice, "Well, it would seem you are alive Agatsuma-kun."

Soubi continued to glare and said with a cold voice, laced with anger, "Yes I am alive, I am here to take Ritsuka home."

Ryoko laughed, "As if you could," he glanced around as the new students started to gather around behind him. Then he glared when he saw Breathless, Sleepless, and the two male Zero's rush forward to stand next to Soubi and Ritsuka. Ritsuka happened to stand out being the only one left with his ears, but there was a smile on his face at the sight of those around him. Ryoko made to step forward, but Kasame-sensei put a hand on his shoulder as he stepped up next to him. He looked calmly at the ones in front of him.

"Since you wish to defend the two of them, then you may leave with him, but do not return to this school. Go now before I change my mind."

Ryoko made to say something, but Kasame-sensei looked at him and whispered to him as they turned and headed out the doors; "Just because we are letting them leave does not mean we will not try again. As I said earlier, our efforts to capture Aoyagi-kun were not waisted. We will get him back."

Ryoko-sensei nodded and kept his mouth shut even as he glared angrily at the retreating back of Soubi.


	9. Ch 8: Momentary Serenity

**Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless, the characters, or any of the thumbnails I use. They all belong to Kouga-san and their respective artists.**

_  
AN: This is my first Yaoi lemon, so please be gentle. Critique and reviews are encouraged, please let me know what you think._

__

Is it any wonder why  
Why I have come to crave  
Your touch, your voice, your scent  
The feel of your skin

**_Momentary Serenity  
_**

Soubi was silent as he led Ritsuka away from the gates of the school holding his hand securely in his larger one. Youji and Natsuo were laughing while making jokes about Ryoko-sensei and the fact that Nagisa-sensei would be angry with them. The other two pairs remained silent as they followed the four down the street. Soubi stopped the group two blocks from the school and turned around to face everyone. Ritsuka turned with him while stepping closer next to Soubi and tightening his hold on his hand.

Soubi sighed, "I can't offer my place for everyone to stay."

Midori and Ai exchanged glances and then Ai smiled, "That's alright, I am sure we can find somewhere to go."

Ginka and Kinka nodded and then smiled at the two, "We will find somewhere to go together, that way we can figure out what to do."

Natsuo and Youji looked at Soubi and then Youji smirked, "Do you wish for us to go elsewhere so the two of you can be alone?"

Ritsuka blushed a little while Soubi smiled, "Why yes, why don't you two go and bother Kio?"

The pair laughed and then Youji nodded, "Yes, that sounds like fun, lead the way."

Natsuo, Youji, Soubi, and Ritsuka continued down the street while the other two pairs walked down the street to the right heading for a nearby bus stop. After they walked past two more blocks Ritsuka saw that Soubi's car was parked on the side of the street and smiled upon seeing Kio get out of the car.

Ritsuka let go of Soubi's hand and ran over to Kio who embraced him tightly and held him in front of him by his shoulders, "You're alright Rit-chan?"

Ritsuka nodded, "I'll be fine." Soubi walked over to them and a frown appeared on his face upon seeing the bandages creases through the light blue material from the nurse at the school. Youji elbowed him in the side suddenly and said with a laugh, "Are you getting jealous Soubi?"

Soubi shrugged his words away and smiled at Ritsuka and Kio as they looked at him. Kio let Ritsuka take the passenger seat in the front and took the seat in the back. Youji and Natsuo insisted on making him sit in between them. Soubi glanced back at everyone as they got comfortable. He noticed a slight wince from Ritsuka as he buckled his seat belt. Instead of saying anything he settled on starting the car and saying over his shoulder to Kio, "Those two need a place to stay and I volunteered your place Kio."

Kio huffed in annoyance, "Whoever said I wanted these brats over at my place? I could have someone waiting for me."

Soubi chuckled, "Thank you Kio."

Kio crossed his arms over his chest, "Yeah, yeah." He let his gaze fall on Ritsuka's raised ears and took in the chip on one of them. He leaned forward and brushed his fingers lightly over the ear making it twitch, "What happened to you ear?"

Ritsuka looked over his shoulder at him as Kio leaned back in his seat, his hand moved to touch said ear and he shrugged, "I don't really remember."

Kio wanted to say something more but then Youji and Natsuo started laughing about some private joke. Natsuo said to everyone with a overly cheerful voice, "Ritsuka-kun was hurt when he arrived."

Youji nodded, "Yeah, when we first saw him we had to stop ourselves from laughing. There was blood, cuts, and bruises all over him."

Kio glared at the two and then looked at his best friend. He saw the hurt, concern, and guilt in his features and then he turned back to the two giggling. He smacked them both upside the head and said sternly, "There's nothing funny about Rit-chan being hurt. I thought the two of you liked him?"

Their expressions sobered up and then Natsuo looked at him strenly, "We do like them, the true funny part about it was who he had as a teacher and how defiant he was towards him."

Youji nodded, "Yeah, we've never seen him so angry and . . . "

Soubi looked at Youji in the rear view mirror and said in a calm voice, "And what?"

Natsuo and Youji exchanged glances and then Natsuo looked at Soubi, "Possessive. He likes the students that refuse to submit to him."

Youji nodded, "He gets some sick pleasure from it. The enjoyment he gets out of causing others pain reminds me of Sei . . ."

"Don't say his name," came Ritsuka's sharp voice. The two silenced and sighed with exchanged glances. Kio recrossed his arms across his chest and said in a even tone, "He is still here Rit-chan. Yaiyo-kun told me that he headed to the police station that night."

Soubi glanced at Ritsuka's bristled expression and said softly, "He was the one that took me to the hospital."

Ritsuka nodded and took a deep breath a stoic expression coming over his features again that made Soubi's lips curl down in a slight frown. They rode in silence to Kio's place and they all got out of the car to bid goodnight to one another. Kio hugged Soubi who was taken back by his friends sudden movement. But Soubi quickly hugged him back and placed a hand on Ritsuka's shoulder as the three headed up to Kio's studio-like apartment.

Ritsuka watched them walk away for a moment before turning back to the car and getting in the passenger seat. Soubi got in the car as well and stopped Ritsuka from putting his seat belt on, leaning over him to do it for him. He felt a slight shudder from Ritsuka when their bodies lightly brushed against one another. Soubi leaned back to his own seat with a smile and put on his own seat belt before once again starting the car and heading in the direction of his own apartment.

They rode in silence for a moment before Ritsuka looked at Soubi, "How is everyone doing?"

Soubi smiled softly at him, "Well, everyone is fine, Yuiko is staying with Yaiyo, we can go see them now if you want."

Ritsuka shook his head, "No, I can wait until tomorrow, I am just glad to be away from there."

Soubi smiled at him once more, he couldn't help but smile having Ritsuka back with him, but the bandages and the seemingly unreadable expression on his face left him feeling unsettled. They pulled up to his apartment finally and Ritsuka got out of the car as Soubi turned it off. Soubi exited the car and looked through his keys for the key to his apartment. He walked over to the bottom of the stairs and offered his hand to Ritsuka who took it without hesitation. They ascended the stairs and Soubi unlocked and opened the door. Ritsuka walked inside past him quickly, his mind focusing on the fact that those disturbing teachers had held the door open for him, waiting for him to step into their twisted worlds.

He walked over to the small dining table and sat down as Soubi turned on the lights, closed, and locked the door. Soubi walked wordlessly to the kitchen and took two cans of soda from his fridge sitting down across from Ritsuka and offering him one of the drinks. Ritsuka took it wordlessly and let out a sigh. He crossed his arms on the table and rested his forehead on his arms, after a few moments Soubi stood and moved to kneel down next to his sacrifice placing his hand gently on his thigh. He felt a tremble run through the lithe form and moved his hand up to caress his arm.

"Ritsuka, what is wrong?"

Ritsuka made no movement that he had heard him, Soubi frowned and rested his hand on top of Ritsuka's head scratching his flattened ears softly, soothingly. After a moment Ritsuka's ears twitched and he raised his head to rest his cheek on his arm while looking at Soubi. He felt some of his inner turmoil fade at the concerned look in Soubi's blue eyes. He sighed softly, "It's just too much . . . "

Soubi moved his hand again to rest on Ritsuka's thigh once again, "Ritsuka, what's too much?"

Ritsuka sat up and turned in the chair to face him making Soubi sit back on his heels. Ritsuka laughed dryly, "What isn't too much Soubi? First my house burnt to the ground, my mother was burned alive. Then Yuiko-chan's parents, Yuiko-chan would have died if Yaiyo-kun hadn't insisted that she come with us. Then Jace, I thought he had killed you. I detest violence, but after I thought he killed you I nearly became violent, I wanted to kill him Soubi. Then Seime suddenly showing up, and that school . . . Those teachers, I think I only like the nurse there."

Soubi moved to kneel in between Ritsuka's legs and placed both of his hands on Ritsuka's thighs, "Ritsuka," Ritsuka's violet eyes locked with his own. "I am sorry I couldn't prevent all of this or the pain you have been through . . . "

Ritsuka sighed and closed his eyes to take a deep breath. When he locked eyes with Soubi he lightly draped his arms over his shoulders, "You baka, I don't blame you for any of it."

Soubi smiled and moved one hand from Ritsuka's thigh to caress his thumb across his cheek, the touch causing Ritsuka to blush. Soubi then said in a soft voice, "You're too kind to me Ritsuka."

Ritsuka leaned into the touch and laughed softly, "Someone has to be."

Soubi leaned up and captured Ritsuka's lips in a tender kiss. Ritsuka wrapped his arms around Soubi's neck and pulled him closer to him. Soubi's tongue caressed Ritsuka's bottom lip which parted without hesitation. Soubi slowly caressed the hot cavern of his sacrifice's mouth, tongue running over teeth, his gums, the roof of his mouth and then coaxing Ritsuka's tongue to join his. Soubi smirked into the kiss at the tremor that passed through Ritsuka, their tongues battling for dominance, something that had been brought about through the years that they were together. As the kiss became heated and Ritsuka's hands had begun to comb through his hair Soubi reluctantly pulled away from the kiss.

He smiled as he leaned back to gaze at the already flushed form of Ritsuka, the blush and panting coming from both of them making him stand and pull Ritsuka to his feet and move towards his bed. Ritsuka didn't pull away or stop him, he eagerly followed and sat on the bed as Soubi tugged at his shirt. Ritsuka raised his arms above his head to assist in removing the garment. Soubi knelt before him again, his fingers caressing the exposed skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake because of the contrast of the chilly air of the apartment and the warmth of Soubi's slender fingers. Ritsuka's hands moved to Soubi's shirt and tugged on the bottom off it saying through slightly glazed eyes, his voice deeper with desire, "Take this off."

Soubi smiled and did as instructed shuddering under the feel of Ritsuka's fingers running over his bare chest. Ritsuka's thumb lightly caressed his nipples making a soft gasp pass through his pink lips. Soubi stilled Ritsuka's hands with his own and leaned in kissing him teasingly before pulling back smiling as Ritsuka leaned forward. Soubi stood up and leaned over Ritsuka kissing him while he combed his fingers through the dark hair. His other hand was at Ritsuka's waist urging him to slide back onto the bed more. Ritsuka complied and wrapped his arms around Soubi's neck again to keep him from breaking the kiss.

Ritsuka let the feel of Soubi's hands and their kisses consume him, wanting to forget the racing thoughts in his mind. The heat starting to slowly build in groin and the trembling muscles of his stomach reminding him how deeply he cared for the man touching and kissing him so tenderly.

The bed shifted under their weight when Soubi wrapped the arm at Ritsuka's hip around his back and gently moved him to lay back against the pillows at the head of the bed. Soubi's knees were straddling Ritsuka's thighs and the hand that had been combing through his hair held him above Ritsuka. Soubi broke the kiss when he suddenly felt Ritsuka's tail brush along his his stomach. Soubi smirked and looked into the lust darkened violet eyes of the one beneath him.

Soubi felt so much warmth in his heart, and his body at the slender form beneath him. He had long since fallen in love with the teen, the feeling only growing over time. It was something new, the way he felt about his sacrifice, something intense, sensual, but at the same time making his heart swell with affection and something he couldn't express as anything other than love.

Ritsuka moved one of his arms from around his neck and ran his hand down Soubi's side reminding Soubi of the fact that Ritsuka wasn't all the shy anymore, even if he did blush a lot. But Soubi adored the blushes, they brought so much emotion to the teens face and stirred so many emotions in himself.

Soubi dipped his head to the crook in Ritsuka's neck and took in a deep breath, inhaling the natural vanilla musk and the smell of soap from the teen. He let out his breath smiling to himself at the shudder that went through Ritsuka. Then his tongue darted out to lick at the smooth, intoxicating skin.

He then kissed the skin tenderly before moving to where he knew was one of Ritsuka's weak points, the pulse on his neck racing as he turned his head to allow Soubi more access to his throat. Soubi smirked and kissed the jugular vien then bit at it lightly earning a sharp intake of breath from Ritsuka.

Ritsuka felt desire so strongly when Soubi's soft lips kissed his neck, such strong arousal when those teeth gently scraped the skin of his sensitive neck and then lightly bit it.

Soubi finally lowered himself slowly to press himself on top of the teen's body. He saw Ritsuka bite his lip when Soubi felt his erection press into Ritsuka's leg. Soubi started to suck, nip, and kiss his neck and then he left a trail of kisses down his neck, collar bone and made it to his chest. He lightly licked one of the pink nubs making Ritsuka let out an audible gasp.

He moved his left hand to Ritsuka's hip and slowly slid that hand up Ritsuka's side to the other pink nub, rubbing his thumb over it in a circular motion before pinching it lightly. At the same time his swirled his tongue around the other and finally took it into his mouth. Ritsuka let out a soft moan from the action. Encouraged, Soubi continued his menstration's until he felt satisfied before given the other the same attention.

Ritsuka felt feverish from the light touches, those lips now on his nipples, those deft fingers making his thoughts incoherent.

Ritsuka's fingers threaded through his hair on their own as Soubi left a trail of open mouthed kisses and light nips down his stomach, dipping his tongue into his naval before he was kissing at the hem of Ritsuka's pants and boxers. Ritsuka's lips parted in another audible gasp that biting his lip had prevented from turning into a moan when Soubi's tongue moved under the hem of his boxers. Soubi slid his body up to hover over Ritsuka's parted lips and he kissed him again. He became more aroused himself at the passionate kiss he received from Ritsuka.

He pulled away and and stroked Ritsuka's flushed cheeks until Ritsuka opened his glazed eyes to meet his own. Soubi smiled softly, "Skidaiyo, Ritsuka."

Ritsuka's voice was was husky with lust as he said breathlessly, "Skidaiyo."

Soubi gave him a chaste kiss before his hands undid the tie of the pants Ritsuka wore. Ritsuka lifted his hips as Soubi pulled at them and allowed him to remove them. Then Ritsuka's hands moved to Soubi's pants, his hands trembling. Soubi leaned forward and kissed his forehead and then he sat up and undid his own pants removing them haistfully.

Ritsuka grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss, this time being more dominate in the kiss. Soubi let himself be dominated by the kiss before taking back control by running his hands up Ritsuka's thigh and turning his attention to that instead.

Ritsuka whimpered in his mouth and Soubi moved his hand to slide up under the fabric of Ritsuka's boxers. He loved the feel of Ritsuka's soft skin, especially when it was heated because of him. Ritsuka reveled in the touches Soubi offered, the kisses, those skilled hands and tongue that seemed to worship his body. His mind was hazed by the heat, the desire and want, giving himself completely to the feeling Soubi invoked in him. Heat was pooling in his groin and he could feel a light sheen of sweat on his skin making him slightly cold from the chilly air on the apartment. The weight and pressure of Soubi laying on top of him, kissing him deeply, his hands wandering across his heated skin overpowered the chill of the apartment and left him feeling unbelievably cared for and safe.

Soubi's fingers had moved from beneath the fabric to rest at Ritsuka's hip, his thumb on the hem of the boxers. He broke their kiss and said in a husky, sensual voice, "Ritsuka?"

Ritsuka's eyes opened at half mast, heavy with lust as he met Soubi's eyes with a, "Hmmm?"

Soubi chuckled, "How much more can I do to you?"

Ritsuka felt a warmth wash over him, his heart swelling at the look in Soubi's eyes. There was such love, so much desire, for him, making him feel even more aroused at what his answer could insinuate. He threaded his fingers in Soubi's hair and moved his hand down to his shoulder, "Everything," came his reply.

Soubi smiled warmly at him, his heart swelling even more at the trust, love, and lust in those glazed violet eyes. He kissed him deeply while his fingers hooked around the boxers Ritsuka wore. Ritsuka lifted his hips and Soubi quickly removed them sitting back to look at the sight of Ritsuka under him. He straddled his legs and his hands moved from the slender shoulders, the pale, smooth skin, feeling guilt at the scars that graced Ritsuka's ivory skin. Ritsuka let out a deep sigh and watched Soubi through half lidded eyes, a smile gracing his kiss swollen, reddened lips. Soubi leaned forward to again kiss Ritsuka and then he kissed his forehead, his eyelids, his cheeks, trailed kissed down his throat and down his chest and stomach again.

He smiled at the swollen, thick, erect, cock of his younger lover. Soubi nuzzled the dark curls and inhaled the musky scent. There was precum on the tip of the head and Soubi bent down and licked it away smiling to himself when Ritsuka jerked and inhaled sharply. Soubi then moved his hand slowly across Ritsuka's flesh to wrap his hand around Ritsuka's shaft which earned him a growl that sounded more like a purr. He then flattened his tongue on the underside of the sensitive flesh and pulled away when Ritsuka bucked slightly. He then placed an open mouth kiss on the head and sucked lightly making a low moan escape Ritsuka's lips. Soubi kept his gaze locked on Ritsuka's face to watch his expressions.

Ritsuka's left hand moved to the sheet and he fisted it when Soubi took half of his pulsing organ into that hot mouth eliciting a deep growl from his lips. But Ritsuka didn't care what sounds he made, he was wrapped up in how Soubi's mouth felt on his cock, on how he continued to tease him, tasted him as though he wanted to savor the taste. Ritsuka opened his eyes and gazed down at Soubi meeting his eyes and felt the blood rush to his groin from the lustful, loving, and adoring look in his fighters eyes.

"Ahhh . . . "came a throaty moan from Ritsuka when Soubi engulfed his cock fully into his mouth. Ritsuka's hand went to fist Soubi's hair unknowingly and Soubi's tongue lapped around his cock and he sucked and lightly ran his teeth along the underside of his cock at the same time. He revelled in the taste, the musky scent that was uniquely Ritsuka, savoring it. Ritsuka could feel a pressure building quickly in him and new he wasn't going to be able to hold back if Soubi continued.

Soubi knew Ritsuka was close to completion and he pulled back and moved to kiss Ritsuka deeply again, the salty taste of his cum on his lips. Ritsuka moaned into the kiss and both of his hands gripped Soubi's shoulders. Soubi had kept one hand at Ritsuka's hips to keep him from thrusting up, all the sounds, movements, and the taste of Ritsuka on his lips had made his own erection swell painfully. He broke their kiss and looked into Ritsuka's eyes to make sure Ritsuka wanted to go through with the next step. He saw no hesitation and leaned up to kiss his ears making a small laugh pass through Ritsuka's lips. Soubi smiled at him before kissing him tenderly. He then leaned over him to reach into the small bedside table for the tube of lube and a condom. Ritsuka blushed darkly at the sight of the items in his hand, nervousness in his eyes, but not fear or uncertainty.

Soubi smiled and was taken back when Ritsuka seized the condom from his hand, he looked at him, "Ritsuka?"

Ritsuka's eyes filled with a small hint of anger and he said sharply, "Only you Soubi, I will only have you. So I am not worried about this," he waved the condom in front of him. Soubi smiled and took it back from him with a kiss on his forehead again. Ritsuka snatched it away, "I don't want it Soubi."

Soubi kissed him on the lips chastefully, "Are you sure?"

Ritsuka nodded, "Yes."

Soubi smiled, "You may get dirty."

Ritsuka glared, "I'm not Seime, Soubi."

Soubi nodded and kissed Ritsuka deeply before saying, "I know who you are Ritsuka."

Soubi took back the condom and tossed it onto the floor, "Okay, if that's what you want."

Soubi then went back to sitting a stride Ritsuka, in their moment of debate some of the arousal had been lost, Soubi smirked intent on changing that. Ritsuka's eyes suddenly darkened with a troubled look. Ritsuka sat up suddenly and pulled the pillow from behind him to rest on his lap his head hung.

Ritsuka shuddered at the rising thoughts racing in his mind; _'Why do I have to think about that now? I wanted to go through with this, I wanted to fully be with Soubi. But those memories, that night, the time at that school . . . why do I have to think about it now, the momentary pause forcing them into my mind.'_

Soubi shifted and moved to sit behind Ritsuka lacing his arm around the slender waist and whispered in his ear, "Ritsuka, what is troubling you?"

Ritsuka shuddered under the moist breath on his ear and flinched away at the sudden memory of Ryoko-sensei's actions only a short while ago. Soubi tightened his hold on his waist when Ritsuka had flinched and nuzzled his nose in the long dark hair. Ritsuka sighed and said softly, "I don't . . . I want to continue . . . but my thoughts, that night, all that's happened . . . "

Soubi pulled back and then leaned down again to kiss Ritsuka's bare shoulder, "It's alright Ritsuka, there's no rush."

Ritsuka calmed down considerably and placed his hands to rest on Soubi's arms around his waist. He then pulled away, breaking the embrace easily, his mind still racing with thoughts that seemed to ruin what he had felt only moments before. He moved to stand only to have his tail latch onto Soubi's arm. Ritsuka looked over his shoulder and smirked at his tail before grasping it and pulling on it to release Soubi. He started when Soubi's hand closed over his tail sending a shiver through his spine and blood to rush to his softening cock. He met Soubi's eyes, his own showing the desire rising back in those dark irises, starting to make the dark thoughts fade in his mind once again.

Soubi noticed the reaction and began to move his thumb in circles over the soft tail. Ritsuka moved back to sit on the bed in front of Soubi, the still massaging motions on his tail making him melt into Soubi. Soubi moved his hand slowly along the tail and to the base of the tail and then lightly ran his fingers across the small of Ritsuka's back and then to grip Ritsuka's hip. Soubi then said in Ritsuka's ear, his voice a low, sensual sound, "Well, kitten, are you sure you don't want to continue?"

Ritsuka trembled from the sound of Soubi's voice and felt slightly light headed as more blood rushed to his newly swelling erection. Once again Soubi had made him forget what had been troubling him. Soubi smirked as he watched over Ritsuka's shoulder as his cock twitched and darkened from the blood rushing to it making it swell at the same time. He then said in the same low voice, "Answer me kitten, I need reassurance to continue."

Ritsuka parted his lips and gasped when Soubi's finger ghosted over his weeping arousal, he licked his lips and said in a hoarse voice, "No . . . haa . . . cont-tinue," he managed to say breathlessly with a low groan as Soubi's hand wrapped around his cock. Soubi released him and then moved pulling Ritsuka back onto the bed all the way with his arm around his waist. Ritsuka allowed Soubi to lay him down once more. Ritsuka looked into Soubi's eyes as he felt Soubi's body flush against his an audible gasp escaped his parted lips. He saw the same emotions he felt in those eyes, a feeling of belonging swelling his heart and making him feel safe and wanted.

Both of them were breathing quickly, their hearts racing in their chests, but Soubi kept a calm look on his face even though his bue eyes were glazed in his lust for the one beneath him, in the great amount of love and admiration he had for the younger man. Soubi lowered and locked lips with Ritsuka, this time kissing him so deeply and passionately it left them both breathless. Ritsuka kissed him back with just as much fervor and his hands trailed on their own in between Soubi's arms to run his hands down his back. That feverish, heated rush through his body from every caress and kiss running through him and clouding his mind once again.

Soubi snaked a hand between their heated bodies and his fingers traced over the taunt muscles of Ritsuka's inner thigh making the teen loll his head back against the pillow with a groan. Soubi kissed his arched neck and sensually circled his tongue over Ritsuka flesh, drawing out a low moan from Ritsuka's parted lips.Ritsuka turned his head to the side and Soubi took advantage of that by finding that same spot on his neck from before. This time kissing, nipping, and sucking at the sensitive skin with more force and causing another moan to escaped Ritsuka's lips. His eyes closing in pleasure.

Soubi felt even more aroused at the unintentional moans escaped those soft lips, the slight jerk of those slim hips. He had longed to share such an intimate moment with Ritsuka and was eternally grateful that Ritsuka was ready for this step in their relationship.

Soubi moved his knee in between Ritsuka's legs urging him to part them which he immediately complied. Ritsuka moved his hand down Soubi's back and a frustrated growl rose in him upon feeling the fabric of Soubi's boxers keeping him from feeling his skin. Soubi gave a low chuckled and sat up to remove the offending material. Ritsuka pulled him back down once they were removed and both moaned when their exposed arousal's touched. Soubi located the lube and popped the lid opened watching Ritsuka for any hesitation.

Ritsuka growled at him and Soubi kissed him deeply again then said his breath ghosting over Ritsuka's lips as his hovered over them, "So impatient, kitten."

Ritsuka raised his head up to close the distance and kissed him, it was demanding kiss that sent blood rushing to Soubi's arousal and said how much he wanted this more than any spoken words could. Soubi managed to coat the lube onto three of his fingers enjoying the growing boldness of Ritsuka as he brushed his lips over Soubi's neck and chest. The feel of those soft lips against his skin and sight of the one beneath him enough to arouse him as much as his teasing had aroused the teen leaving him feeling painfully hard.

Soubi moved away from Ritsuka's lips which earned him a low growl of protest, Soubi smirked and moved down to settle between Ritsuka's legs. He leaned down and let his breath ghost over the taunt muscles of Ritsuka's inner thigh making the teen moan softly, it sounded more like a purr. Soubi eased Ritsuka's legs apart more and cupped his hands under Ritsuka's thighs moving his legs to rest on his waist. Ritsuka held his legs there as Soubi moved his hand to Ritsuka's tight, well defined ass. He knowingly moved his fingers to brush over that pucked entrance and Ritsuka's hips lifted slight at the feeling.

Ritsuka couldn't think about anything more than the feel of Soubi's fingers and mouth feeling his arousal swell painfully at that light brush against that puckered entrance.

Soubi circled Ritsuka's entrance with his lubricated finger then flicked his finger over it making Ritsuka inhale sharply. Then Ritsuka ground out at him, "Stop teasing . . . ahhh . . ." he was cut off when the fingertip pressed into the tight hole. Soubi moved forward to kiss Ritsuka's parted lips and shuddered at the moan that passed through him when he pushed his finger in past his first knuckle. He continued to kiss and massage Ritsuka's mouth with his tongue as his finger moved deeper inside, he became even more aroused at how tight and hot Ritsuka was.

It felt weird to him, but still good as his body adjusted to the intrusion. He felt Soubi's finger curl inside him and then it pulled away and thrust back in, pumping in and out and causing more low moans to pass through him as Soubi ravished his mouth. Then he felt Soubi remove his finger again only to press two inside him slowly. It was a frustrating pace, but he knew Soubi was trying to make sure he didn't hurt him. His hips moved of their own accord when he felt those two fingers curl inside him and then start to scissor inside him, spreading him even more.

Ritsuka tried to relax his muscles and adjust to the strange feeling as Soubi's finger moved in and out, curling and scissoring inside him. Then the next thing he knew he was seeing white and feeling so much pleasure he nearly screamed into Soubi's mouth as he continued to kiss him deeply. Soubi broke their kiss and moved again to allow his other hand to move between them to take hold of Ritsuka's arousal once more, pumping it in time with his thrusts as a third finger moved inside him. He leaned up to capture the low hiss that passed through Ritsuka's lips and then located his prostate again to cover the pain.

Ritsuka arched his back and came down harshly on those intruding fingers when his prostate was brushed yet again. The fingers continued to pump in and out of him, curling and scissoring and leaving him panting and moaning low in his throat from the pleasure as he adjusted to the feeling, the slight pain from before lost. When Soubi pulled those fingers out of Ritsuka a moan of protest he had meant to be a growl left his lips. Soubi kissed him again and then shifted so that his swollen, cock brushed against that puckered entrance.

Ritsuka tensed at first and opened his eyes to gaze at Soubi through darkened eyes, he felt even more blood rush to his groin while he watched Soubi lather his cock with lubricant and hiss at the stimulation. Ritsuka noted to himself that he woud be the one to coat that beautiful flesh himself the next time. His face darkened in a blush at the thought and he inhlaed sharply when he felt the weeping cock brush against his entrance again. Soubi steadied himself and then lifted Ritsuka's hips to steady him meeting Ritsuka's eyes to confirm yet again that he wanted to do this. Soubi sadly noted that he would miss the adorable tail and ears. Ritsuka growled at him and said roughly, his voice hoarse from the anticipation and lust he felt for the man above him; "I'm sure Soubi."

Soubi leaned forward and kissed Ritsuka again and then latched onto his neck again, he was sure there would be a deep purple mark on Ritsuka's neck come morning. Soubi eased the head of his cock through to that tight ring of muscle biting down on Ritsuka's neck to distract him from the pain. Ritsuka hissed with a hint of a moan in his voice at the intrusion. His mind reeling at the overwhelming love he felt for the man that was going to be taking his ears and tail. He focused on that and the sharp pleasure pain he had felt when Soubi sunk his teeth into his sensitive neck. He didn't register that there was a warmth of blood on his neck and groaned when Soubi sucked, licked, and kissed at the flesh of his neck.

Soubi berated himself at the pain he had caused Ritsuka, he never wanted to hurt him. He had let his own arousal control him momentarily.

Ritsuka ground out to Soubi impatiently with a hint of need in his tone, "Move Soubi."

Soubi kissed him hastily on the lips whispering, "I'm sorry," before easing past that ring of muscle making Ritsuka groan in pain and his hands clench in the sheets. Soubi waited for Ritsuka to adjust, shaking with the strain of holding back from that tight heat gripping at his arousal. Soubi continued to ease inside after he saw the look of pain fade back to needy want. He moved slowly, inch by inch, giving Ritsuka time to adjust to him and smiling to himself that Ritsuka relaxed his body without having to be told. Soubi kissed at the soft flesh of Ritsuka's neck and chest as he moved further inside him until he was completely sheathed in that tight heat, pausing for Ritsuka to adjust to the feeling once more. He was so concentrated on being gentle with Ritsuka that he barely heard the low groans, growls, and pants coming from the sweat glistened body beneath him.

Ritsuka gazed at him, locking eyes with him as Soubi eased out and slowly moved back in building a slow rhythm eliciting gasps and pants from Ritsuka. Their breaths intermingled, becoming erratic from the intensity of the pressure building in both of them. Soubi lifted Ritsuka's hips more to angle himself better and started to move a little faster. Ritsuka moved with him, matching his movement. His back arched off the bed and he let out a low, long moan when Soubi's thick cock brushed against his prostate again.

Soubi leaned forward bending Ritsuka at the waist in a aching position and started a quicker pace careful not to hurt Ritsuka. Ritsuka's hands grasped the sheets in his fists and Soubi moved one hand to Ritsuka and laced them together squeezing them tightly. Soubi then said as he moved, "Open your eyes Ritsuka, look at me."

Ritsuka's eyes fluttered open and immediately locked with Soubi causing Soubi to have to restrain himself from pounding in the violet eyed teen. Soubi quickened his pace again and Ritsuka moved with him his moans becoming less retrained with every brush against his prostrate. Soubi moved his other hand to wrap around Ritsuka's arousal and began to pump in time with his thrust. Ritsuka began to loose control and soon he was thrusting into Soubi's hand and impaling himself on Soubi.

Soubi groaned low in his throat and met Ritsuka's erratic movement with his own. The tensing, trembling muscles under Ritsuka's sweat glistened skin signaled his closing in completion. Soubi moved forward again and placed his hand next to Ritsuka's shoulder to steady himself. Every moan and movement from Ritsuka and the feeling of having his muscle contract and grasp his cock was bringing him close to the edge as well. Their moans and pants mingled until neither could tell which one was moaning.

"Haaa . . . Soubi . . . I'm so . . . close . . . " Ritsuka finally managed in between moans and pants. Soubi felt himself getting closer from those words and thrust deep inside Ritsuka to brush against his prostate again and again.

"Ahhh . . . don't . . . don't stop Soubi . . . "

Soubi continued and huskily said in between his own pants and low moans, "That's right, come for me Ritsuka . . . come for me kitten . . ."

Ritsuka was trembling with his approaching orgasm and his bit out through a long, low moan; "Ahhhh . . . don't . . . haa. . . call me . . . hnnn . . . kitten . . . "

Soubi watched Ritsuka's features and moved the hand holding Ritsuka's to his face caressing his cheek and ushering him to open his eyes. Their eyes locked and at the sight of the lust and love in Soubi's glazed blue eyes made Ritsuka arched his back and his muscles gripped Soubi in a vice like grip as he came with a loud scream of Soubi's name and his own hot seed coated his stomach and chest.

Soubi followed him soon after lost in the glow of Ritsuka's skin, the sound of him screaming his name, the open, submissive, pleasurable look on his lover's face and the pulsing muscles around his erection deep with that tight heat.

All Ritsuka could see was white as he came hard, his body trembling his muscles relaxing only to tighten again as the waves of his orgasm passed through him. The blood pulsing with his body and his slowly softening cock. He didn't even recognize that the loud moans and sounds echoing in the room were coming from him. Soubi's long, low moan of Ritsuka's name came to Ritsuka's ears as the older man came inside him, pulsing as his hot seed filled him. Ritsuka continued to ride the waves of his orgasm, another coming at the feel of Soubi coming inside him. He silently told himself that he wanted to always feel this cherished, loved, and filled. Soubi leaned down holding himself up with only his elbow.

Ritsuka looked at him and a genuine smiled crossed his lips at the sight of Soubi panting, his eyes closed, a sated, content expression on his face, a truly happy expression. Ritsuka moved his hand to brush Soubi's hair behind his ear, his movement making Soubi turn his head to look at him. Ritsuka leaned in and kissed him deeply upon seeing the smile on his lips and in his eyes. Ritsuka groaned in slight protest when Soubi pulled himself out of him, slick with teh lubricant and his own, hot cum. He then moved to lay on his side facing Ritsuka. Soubi ran his fingers through Ritsuka's hair soothingly, lovingly, "Skidaiyo Ritsuka."

Ritsuka smiled as he recalled the numerous times Soubi had said that before and he had refused to believe him. But now, especially after their lovemaking, he found that Soubi did love him and that he indeed loved Soubi. "Skidaiyo Soubi."

Ritsuka moved to snuggle close to Soubi and Soubi wrapped an arm around his waist to pull him close to him and then moved to lay on his back pressing Ritsuka into his side. Ritsuka rested his head on Soubi's chest and placed his hand on his stomach.

Once they fully recovered and their breathing calmed Soubi moved away from him to grab one of their discarded piece of clothing to clean the cum on Ritsuka's stomach and chest, kissing hsi soft skin lightly. Then he dropped the clothing onto the floor and settled back down next to Ritsuka wrapping his arms around him once more. Ritsuka tilted his head from it's position back on Soubi's chest to look at Soubi who met his gaze immediately. Ritsuka blushed and said softly, "We belong to no one else but each other, right?"

Soubi kissed Ritsuka's forehead tenderly and then craned his neck to kiss Ritsuka lightly on the lips, "Yes Ritsuka, that's right. Go to sleep kitten," he said as Ritsuka's eyes started to close. Ritsuka, exhausted from the emotional and trying past few days, said tiredly, "Don't call me that Soubi."

Soubi smiled feeling happier than he had ever felt to have Ritsuka in his arms. After Ritsuka's breathing evened out he finally closed his eyes and thought about everything that had transpired over the last few days. Tomorrow they would have to deal with the world outside the one they had given themselves up to for the night. But right now, he wanted to enjoy the warmth of Ritsuka sleeping in his arms, the pressure on his heart, mind, and soul subsiding, having always lessened when he was around Ritsuka. Now, fully connected with Ritsuka and it meaning so much more than just sex to them both, he felt content, wanted, and as though he were floating on another plane of existence where only the two of them existed. He finally let himself fall into the dark abyss of sleep, dreams of the one in his arms bringing a small smile to his face.


	10. Ch 9: Agape Eros

**Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless or any of the thumbnails used those belong to Kouga-san and their respective artists.**

**AN: My computer being unable to work properly is the reason behind the delays in the updates. I also had to rewrite this chapter. Sorry for the inconvience to those of you who were waiting for the update.**

_**Love is something blissful  
Something to be cherished It feels your heart with warmth  
An helps to tend to the wounds  
That once enveloped your soul  
In an unforgiving darkness**_

_**Agape Eros**_

Ritsuka stirred and shifted in the warmth surrounding him, he could hear the rhythmic heartbeats from the chest where his head rested. He could feel the rise and fall with every warm breath that he felt on the back of his neck. But he wasn't frightened or panicked, he felt safe and loved as he lay in this warmth. He felt the arm around his shoulders holding him possessively and his lips curled in a smile. He felt the lightness of his tail and ears being gone. A blush crept over his cheeks at the thought and he moved his head just enough to look up at the sleeping face of his lover.

His blush darkened to see those beautiful blue eyes watching him with a soft smile. He felt the arm around his shoulders move and then those slender fingers moved up into his hair and combing through his dark locks, ''Morning kitten.''

Ritsuka wanted to glare, but he just smiled softly back at him, ''Morning Soubi.''

Ritsuka then moved to sit up but was pulled back down to lay back on Soubi's chest again. Ritsuka peered up at him questioningly.

''Just a little longer Ritsuka, I want to enjoy this warmth.''

Ritsuka felt his blush return and just nodded before snuggling his nose into Soubi's chest to hide the blush on his face. Soubi let out a soft chuckle and held Ritsuka close. So they just lay there for a few minutes enjoying one anothers warmth and the feeling of being in each others arms.

When Soubi finally released his hold on Soubi and made to sit up Ritsuka sat up as well and the sheets fell down to his waist. Soubi gazed at him and Ritsuka turned his head away to hide yet another blush. Soubi reached out and caressed his cheek and then tilted his head to look at him, ''Kitten, don't turn away from me, there's no need to hide your blush.''

Ritsuka of course blushed even darker and looked into Soubi's eyes. His eyes drifted closed when Soubi leaned forward to kiss him, stopping a breath away from him and whispering, ''Skidaiyo, Ritsuka.''

Ritsuka whispered back just before Soubi locked their lips together, ''Skidaiyo, Soubi.'' Soubi kissed him deeply and chastely making Ritsuka growl in his throat when he pulled away. Soubi got up off the bed with a chuckle and Ritsuka blushed to see Soubi standing there completely naked in front of him. Ritsuka took a moment to snab out of it as he was raking his eyes over his fighters' form. The broad shoulders, the curve from his chest to his flat stomach, his slender hips, the curves of his strong legs and he averted his eyes quickly before looking anymore.

Soubi chuckled again and said teasingly, ''Like what you see kitten.''

Ritsuka huffed and then whispered, ''Hai.''

Soubi leaned forward with his knee on the edge of the bed and tilted Ritsuka's chin up kissing him lightly, ''I'm glad, now we need to shower and let everyone know that your back.''

Ritsuka smiled as Soubi pulled away from him. Soubi stood once more and held out his hand, Ritsuka took it and let himself be pulled from the bed and led over to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later the two were dressed and while Ritsuka towel dried his hair Soubi was making them a quick breakfast. Ritsuka tossed the towel onto their bed and made his way to the small table as Soubi set down their plates across form each other and turned to fix them both glasses of orange juice. He had made eggs, bacon, and toast for breakfast which they ate in silence. As Soubi finished the last of his orange juice Ritsuka looked into his empty glass and asked quietly, ''Do you know if they will try to hurt anyone just to make me go back?''

Soubi looked at him, ''I don't know Ritsuka, I hope not.''

Ritsuka looked up at him, ''Do you say that because it would hurt me, or because you actually care about them as well?''

Soubi smiled softly, ''Both Ritsuka.''

Ritsuka smiled softly back and then rose to clear the table. Soubi stood and took the dishes from him and carried them over to the sink. He allowed Ritsuka to help with the dishes and then they made their way to the door. Once the door was closed and locked they walked down the stairs with their fingers laced together. Ritsuka noticed that they were headed to Kio's first. They rode in silence, holding hands in between them.

Once they arrived Ritsuka stood still outside the car looking at the apartment complex before them. He felt nervous seeing Kio, Youji, and Natsuo, the idea that he no longer having his ears and tail making him feel embarrassed because he was sure they would say something about it.

He was startled out of his thoughts when Soubi's hand rested on his shoulder. Soubi leaned down to whisper into his ear, ''They will say something, but I will be right there with you kitten.''

Ritsuka laughed, ''I don't think that will make it any easier, and stop calling me kitten.''

Soubi smiled, ''Is that an order kitten?''

Ritsuka huffed and walked forward, Soubi caught up to him and grabbed his hand walking beside him. They were standing before Kio's door soon and Ritsuka was blushing again. Soubi smiled at him and leaned down to kiss him lightly on the neck, ''It's okay Ritsuka.''

Ritsuka huffed and said nothing as Soubi knocked on the door. They heard some noise behind the door and then Kio shouting, ''You two brats, this is my house, don't answer my door.''

Then the front door was opened and there was a moment of silence. Kio stood before them, his face one of shock clad in a white button up shirt and khaki pants, his hair a mess indicating that he had just woken up. Soubi broke the silence, ''Ohayo Kio.''

Kio blanched for a minute and then he stared at Ritsuka before looking back at Soubi. His shocked look turned into a grin, ''Sou-chan, you hentai, you finally seduced him.''

Soubi sighed, ''I'm not a hentai Kio.''

Kio stepped aside to let them in and Ritsuka was suddenly pulled into a hug by Natsuo. Then before he could blink Youji had him in a hug around his waist. Soubi cleared his throat before pulling Ritsuka away from them by the wrist. The two looked at them with huge grins on their faces. Then Natsuo said as Kio closed the door, ''You finally lost your ears Ritsuka-kun, how wonderful.''

Youji nodded with a laugh, ''Yeah, it seems that you're finally growing up.''

Ritsuka bristled at them and then walked over to the couch pulling Soubi with him. He sat down and Soubi did the same moving his arm to rest on Ritsuka's shoulders. Natsuo and Youji sat down on the ground in front of them. Natsuo glared at Soubi, ''You're lucky to have that adorable boy Sou . . .''

Youji grabbed Natsuo by the waist and into his lap before he could finish. He then said into his hair, ''You have me Natsuo, so stop saying things like that.''

Natsuo laughed, ''He is still adorable. I was just saying.''

Kio sighed and sat down on the couch next to Ritsuka. He looked at him and asked, ''Besides what you two obviously did last night when you went home, are you alright Rit-chan?''

Ritsuka nodded and watched Kio's eyes move to Soubi. Kio noticed the top two buttons of the lavender shirt Soubi was wearing were undone. He leaned forward to look more closely upon seeing that the bandages were gone from around his neck. He noticed that the scar was also gone and met Soubi's eyes, ''Sou-chan, the scar?''

Soubi nodded and rested his eyes on Ritsuka who had turned to gaze at his neck as well. Soubi's hand that wasn't around Ritsuka's shoulders moved to tilt his head up by his chin, ''It's because I have you finally Ritsuka.''

Ritsuka blushed and turned away to look at Kio, ''What has been going on Kio?''

Kio leaned back into the couch again and sighed, ''Well, Yuiko-chan and Yaiyo-kun are fine from what I heard when I talked to them last night. I didn't tell them you were back yet, I figured that would be better in person for them to find out.''

Ritsuka cut him off before he could say more, ''Why did it take so long?''

He felt Soubi tense beside him and he turned to look at Soubi, ''Were you hurt Soubi?''

Kio answered for him, knowing Soubi wouldn't answer that question.

''Sou-chan was hurt pretty badly, he nearly didn't make it. He was in a coma for a while. Thanks to his healing abilities, that hypnotism he used, he healed rather quickly. Sorry we couldn't reach you sooner Rit-chan.''

Ritsuka nodded, ''I'm just glad you showed up when you did. I don't think I could have taken being there for all that much longer. Thank you.''

Soubi pulled him close to him, ''I apologize Ritsuka, I never should have let them take you.''

Ritsuka turned completely to face him and said angrily, ''Baka, there was nothing you could do about that. I'm happy that you're alive. So stop punishing yourself for something you couldn't prevent. You still came and got me, so I'm happy. I already told you I didn't want you to kill yourself over those standards and rules that were engraved in your head from that school. I don't want you to kill yourself, I couldn't . . . ''

Soubi cut him off with a light kiss and then said softly, ''Okay Ritsuka, I promise I won't kill myself over those rules and standards. But I don't like you get hurt and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you that I could prevent.''

Ritsuka nodded, ''Okay, good.''

Soubi smiled and looked over at Kio, ''What about the other issue, has anything come up?"

Kio nodded and got to his feet, he motioned for Soubi to follow him. Ritsuka watched Soubi as he followed Kio into his room. Kio closed the door behind them and Ritsuka felt the couch shift as Youji and Natsuo plopped down on either side of him.

Youji looked at him with a mischievous smile, ''So Ritsuka-kun, how do you feel without your ears?'' Ritsuka swatted his hand away when he reached out to pat his head. Then Ritsuka jumped when Natsuo squeezed his thigh. Ritsuka pushed his hand away, ''I feel fine, stop touching me.''

Natsuo smiled at him and asked to distract him, ''So, did you have fun at the school?''

Youji in the mean time had snaked his hand to Ritsuka's hip and squeezed lightly making Ritsuka jump again. Ritsuka jumped up from the couch and glared at them as they smiled up at him. He huffed and walked over to the dining room table sitting in the chair with a huff. The two laughed from their seats and then stood up together. They walked over to Ritsuka and stood on either side of him. Natsuo ran his fingers throught Ritsuka's hair, ''So tell us Ritsuka, did you enjoy it?''

Ritsuka blushed, the question caught him off gaurd and he didn't push Natsuo's hand away. Ritsuka nodded slightly and the two laughed merrily. Then they stopped and stepped away upon hearing the bedroom door open. Soubi glared at them both and said firmly, ''Don't touch Ritsuka, and leave him alone you two.''

They huffed and moved to sit in the empty chairs around the table.

Soubi closed the door and leaned back against the wall to look at Kio sitting on his bed.

''So, Seime-san is trying to get custody of Ritsuka and it appears that he is going to succeed?''

Kio nodded and took off the glasses he had just found when they entered. He cleaned them with his shirt and then put them back on before looking back at Soubi.

''That's how it seems from the last time I checked. The police records on him are listed as well, but they don't have any evidence that he's the one that set the school on fire. Sou-chan, it looks like he is going to succeed. They don't have any criminal charges on him and there isn't any medical records that indicate him as mentally unstable even though we both know he is. Rit-chan is only sixteen, so there isn't anything you can do. If you were to take him somewhere else then you would be charged with kidnapping.''

Soubi nodded and closed his eyes for a moment. He then looked at Kio and said, ''I think right now it would be a good idea to keep the fact that Ritsuka is no longer at the school a secret. I don't think it would be wise to let him fall into Seime-san's grasp.''

Kio nodded, ''I agree, but Yuiko-chan and Yaiyo-kun deserve to know that he is back and safe.''

Soubi nodded, ''Yes, but could you have them come over here, it wouldn't be a good idea to have them go to my place.''

Kio nodded, ''Alright, let me call them.''

Soubi nodded and turned to leave the room. Before he could open the door Kio said, ''Don't tell Rit-chan about this, I don't think he would take well to us keeping this from him, or that what Seime is doing.''

Soubi nodded again and then exited the room. Kio sighed and picked up his cell phone from his nightstand next to the foot of his bed. He scrolled through it and found Yaiyo's number, a small smile forming on his face before he hit the call button and raised the phone to his ear.

He said cheerfully upon noticing that Yaiyo had answered the phone, ''Ohayo Yaiyo-kun, are you busy this morning?''

''No, other than school. Why, is something going on?''

''No, no, I was just wondering if you and Yuiko-chan could come and visit me today after school is over with. I have something to discuss with you.''

''Sure, we will be there after school.''

''Good, I look forward to seeing you here. How have things been going lately?"

''As good as expected, Yuiko-chan is still pretty depressed, she's not talking all that much and she barely eats. I hope your news will be something good about Ritsuka-kun or something of that nature.''

''It's good and bad news, so be prepared, I will see you two this afternoon, try to have a good day Yaiyo-kun.''

''Yeah, sure, see you later.''

He hung up and Kio sighed and stood up pocketing his phone and walked over to his door. He entered the living room and saw that the four occupants were sitting on the couch in a thick silence. He walked over to the couch closing his door behind him. He looked at Soubi and asked, ''What is going on?''

Soubi looked over at him, ''Nothing really, these two were messing with Ritsuka and I promptly told them to keep their hands to themselves and managed to anger them.''

Kio sighed, ''Yeah, well, I have to go to work so you four try to get along while I'm gone. Don't tear up my apartment and don't do anything that would require me cleaning my sheets when I get home. Rit-chan and Sou-chan, you two don't leave the apartment, I have some guests coming this afternoon that will be wanting to see you both.''

Soubi nodded and Ritsuka got up from the couch, ''Kio-san, can I have a word with you?"

Kio nodded and motioned for his room. Ritsuka followed him and waited until they stood in the room with the door closed.

''Umm, Kio-san, Yuiko-chan and Yaiyo-kun, are they the ones coming over?''

Kio nodded, ''Yes, Soubi asked that I have them come here to see you.''

Ritsuka nodded, ''Alright, umm . . . ''

Kio raised an eyebrow, ''What is it Rit-chan?''

''I know it's a touchy subject for Soubi, but I know you will tell me the truth if I ask. Umm, my . . . Seime-san . . .''

Kio sighed, ''Rit-chan, that's not something I am at liberty to say. You will have to get Sou-chan to tell you. I'm sorry.''

Ritsuka nodded, ''I understand. I just don't believe he will tell me the truth.''

Kio stood before him and put a hand on his shoulder making Ritsuka meet his eyes.

''Sou-chan has come to see you as more important than your brother, and thanks to you he also sees how wrong he was. I don't think he will hide anything you want to know from you. He may not say the whole truth because he knows as well as I do that you still love your brother.''

Ritsuka nodded, ''Thank you Kio-san.''

Kio smiled and stepped away removing his hand, ''Now, if you don't mind, I need to get to work.''

Ritsuka nodded and walked out of the room closing the door behind him. Kio quickly grabbed his bag of art supplies and found a pair of socks to put on. He then moved to his bathroom and took a quick shower before changing into a clean set of clothes. Just as he was about to leave the room his phone rang.

''Hello?''

''Kio-san, I was calling to tell you that the boss said that you can have the next few days off. He just caught wind of what was going on in your part of town and I told him that you know all those involved. I figured you would delay the same message to Agatsuma-san, he was in the hospital for a while after all.''

Kio sighed heavily, ''Really, I appreciate that, thanks Miko-chan.''

She giggled, ''Of course Kio-san, anything for you.''

Kio hung up the phone thinking as he put it back in his pocket; _'That woman, I might be flattered if I wasn't already interested in someone else. What kind of timing is that?'_

He walked out of his room after putting his art supply bag back in his closet. He smiled at everyone, they had moved to the dining room table and were playing a card game.

''Well, it seems as though I don't have to work today.''

Soubi looked up from the cards in his hand, ''Were you fired?''

Kio waved his hands in front of him with a shake of his head, ''No, no. Miko-chan called saying that I have a few days leave because the boss knows what happened a few days ago and all. Same goes to you, though I'm sure your leave will last longer considering where you were the last few days.''

Soubi nodded and went back to his cards, apparently, they were playing go fish. Kio chuckled and then he said as he walked into his kitchen and took out a soda, ''You two brats don't have anywhere else you would rather be?''

He closed the refrigerator door and looked at them. Youji was leaned back in his chair smiling at him and Natsuo was looking over his cards with a smile when they both answered together, ''Nope.''

Kio sighed and walked over to the table pulling a fold out chair from against the wall and setting it in between Soubi and Ritsuka. He had it turned backwards so that he could rest his arms on the back of it. He opened his drink and said, ''Isn't go fish a little childish to play?"

Natsuo laughed, ''Well, Ritsuka-kun wasn't up for strip poker and there isn't anything to bet for regular poker.''

Kio smiled and then he looked at Ritsuka, ''Are you too shy to lay strip poker Rit-chan?''

Ritsuka blushed and looked away, Soubi looked over at Kio, ''Don't you start too Kio.''

Kio laughed, ''Don't worry Sou-chan, I was only teasing him. So instead of go fish, how about we play one of my board games?"

Soubi smirked, ''Well, that may prove to be more entertaining.''

Kio jumped up from his seat and ran over to his closet, he opened it and after a few mumbles and a few more minutes he pulled out a board game inside a purple box and carried it with him as he sat down on the couch. The others set their cards on the table and joined him, Ritsuka looking at the box. It was a trivia game, but Kio put the box away before he could read what kind of trivia game it was. Soubi smirked but said nothing. Youji and Natsuo sat on the floor and Kio moved to sit on the floor as well, sitting next to Natsuo. He set the game board on the floor, it was the size of a monopoly game board. There were five different colors taking up a fifth of the board. One was violet, one red, then blue, green, and yellow. Kio hand them each a gold game piece, all of them small silver kittens, Ritsuka blushed as he sat down next to Soubi on the floor.

Next Kio handed everyone a stack of cards, each the same color as the divided game board. He gave Ritsuka violet, Soubi blue, Youji green, Natsuo red, and took yellow for himself. He then smiled at everyone and said, ''Okay the game is simple, the cards have questions on them, on the other side is where you can answer them, fill in your own answers with a pencil. Then you switch your cards out with another player every turn. If you don't answer the question right then you are skipped a turn, everytime you get the question right then you can move one space on the board. The object is to move your player all the way around the board once and then get to the center of the board on your art of the board. That's the color of your cards, by the way.''

He handed everyone a pencil and then smiling said, ''Okay, answer your questions and then we can start.''

Ritsuka asked, ''Kio-san, how do we determine who to switch cards with?"

Kio smiled, ''Well that's up to you, once you go through the cards I'm sure you will figure it out.'' He looked around at everyone, ''The questions and answers have to be said aloud by the way.''

Ritsuka nodded and looked down at his cards, he let his hair fall and curtain his face to hide the hint of a blush on his cheeks. But he started to answer the questions anyway. Each of them had thirty sets of questions, most of them were truth questions. But there were five cards that were dare cards. Youji finally asked after everyone appeared to be finished answering the questions, ''What about the dare cards?"

Kio nodded, ''Well, the dare cards you can choose who you wish to dare to do what it says. If they don't do the dare then they have to start back at the beginning. Is everyone finished answering their questions?''

Everyone nodded and Kio smiled and took out dice from the box handing everyone a die. They all rolled their die and it was determined that Soubi would go first.

Soubi smiled and looked at Kio, he handed him one of his cards and Kio handed him one of his. Soubi read Kio's card first, in a calm, indifferent tone of voice; ''Kio, Is it true that you have an interest in both sexes?"

Kio smirked, ''Yes it's true.'' He looked at Soubi's card after Soubi nodded that he had given the right answer. Kio smirked and then asked, ''Sou-chan, is it true that you have an interest in someone younger than you? If so name them.''

Soubi smirked, ''Yes it's true and his name is Ritsuka.''

Ritsuka blushed lightly and then the two of them placed their pieces on the game board where it was indicated their start positions were and moved them ahead once. Kio placed his card from Soubi on the floor next to him and Soubi did the same. Everyone else put their pieces on the game board on the space labeled 'Start Here.' Then Kio said, ''Well, since Soubi went first, he can choose who goes next.''

Soubi smiled at Ritsuka and then looked over at Natsuo, ''Your turn.''

Natsuo smiled and looked at Youji, they switched cards and then Natsuo read aloud; ''Youji, are you a virgin, if not how old were you when you lost your virginity?''

Youji smiled, ''No and fifteen.''

Natsuo laughed, ''Yes and yes, okay you go.''

Youji moved his piece forward one space and then said to Natsuo, ''Okay, did you like school growing up?''

Natsuo shrugged, ''It was alright.''

Youji laughed, ''Nope, you answered that you hated school.''

Natsuo huffed, ''This game sucks.''

Kio laughed, ''You answered the question, how could you get it wrong to begin with. You're supposed to answer honestly out loud as well in this game.''

Natsuo stuck his tongue out at Kio who just chuckled. Kio looked over at Ritsuka, ''Okay, your turn Rit-chan. After you go then it will be Sou-chan's turn, then mine, then Youji since Natsuo got the last question wrong and then you. We will keep it in this order now.''

Everyone nodded and Ritsuka sighed and then looked at Kio. Kio smiled and Ritsuka held out one of his cards to Kio. Kio took his card and handed one of his own to Ritsuka. Ritsuka scanned the card and then looked at Kio; ''Kio-san, is there someone you have a crush on, if so who is it?''

Kio blushed very slightly and answered, ''Yes there is and it's . . . umm . . . Yaiyo-kun.''

Ritsuka and Soubi looked at him startled and then Soubi shrugged. Ritsuka looked at him questioningly and before he could ask Kio asked the question on the card.

''Rit-chan, do you have any tattoo's if so where are they?''

Ritsuka blushed and hanging his head he said, ''I don't know if it's a tattoo, but I have a butterfly on my . . . my hip bone.''

Kio nodded, ''Yup, that's what you wrote down.''

Soubi was looking at Ritsuka with a serious expression on his face, but he decided to ask when they were alone. The two sat their cards down and then moved their pieces. Soubi switched cards with Youji this time. Soubi looked at the card before saying, ''Where did you lose your virginity at?''

Youji smirked and glanced at Natsuo, ''In the school infirmary.''

Soubi nodded and Youji moved his piece forward then asked Soubi, ''Soubi-san, how old were you when you lost your virginity?"

Ritsuka grabbed his hand and held it tightly, Soubi nodded and answered; ''Thirteen.''

Kio traded cards with Ritsuka once more and then asked quickly to change the subject.

''Rit-chan, how old were you when you lost your virginity?''

Ritsuka blushed a dark red and said softly, ''Sixteen.''

Kio nodded and then once Ritsuka moved his piece and recovered he looked at the card.

''Kio-san, where did you loose your virginity at?''

Kio smiled, ''That was in the boys locker room in junior high.''

Soubi smirked and then Youji sighed and traded cards with Kio once he moved his piece once more. Youji asked the question on the card, ''What is your favorite color?''

Kio smiled at the simple question, ''Yellow.''

Youji nodded and then Kio asked, ''Youji-brat, what is your favorite dish?"

Youji glared at the nickname and then said, ''Miso ramen, it's the only dish I had outside the school."

Kio nodded and then Ritsuka switched cards with Soubi. He read off Soubi's card, ''Soubi, who was the lover you enjoyed being with the most.''

Soubi smiled at the blush and soft tone of voice Ritsuka used and answered sweetly, ''You, Ritsuka.''

Soubi then asked after moving his piece forward once more, ''Ritsuka, where did you loose your virginity?"

Ritsuka blushed darkly, ''Uhh . . . Soubi . . . Soubi's apartment.''

Soubi nodded and Ritsuka moved his piece forward once more before hanging his head to hide the blush still dusting his cheeks. Soubi rubbed his thumb over Ritsuka's hand as Kio and he exchanged cards once again.

Soubi then asked Kio, ''What is your favorite time of day?''

Kio shrugged, ''Sunrise.''

Soubi nodded and then Kio asked after moving his piece forward once more, ''Sou-chan, same question, what is your favorite time of day?"

Soubi thought for a minute and then said, ''Sunset.''

Kio nodded and then he exchanged cards with Natsuo. He asked, ''What is your favorite color?"

''Red,'' Natsuo answered quickly. Kio nodded and Natsuo moved his piece forward once.

''Kio-san, how do you feel about lingere?"

Kio sighed, ''It depends on who is wearing it, most of the time I don't like to see it on males.''

Natsuo nodded and Kio moved forward a space. The game continued for a while until there was finally a knock at the door. They then cleared up the game and Kio walked over to the door while he had Soubi and Ritsuka hide in his room deciding to suprise the guests with their prescense. When he opened the door, he found that it wasn't who he thought it would be at his door.


	11. Ch 10: Tortured Soul

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless or the thumbnails used. Those belong to Kouga-san and their respective artists.**

_Dark as knight  
Bright as the sun  
Blinding in its' rays  
Shadowing in its wake  
Bringing about pain  
Hollowing out the soul  
Holding out for another day_

_**Tortured Soul**_

Kio glared at the man standing in the doorway and leaned his hand on the door frame to prevent him from entering. He said in a cold, harsh voice, ''What the hell are you doing at my apartment?''

''Looking for my brother,'' came the angry reply from Seime.

Kio huffed, ''Yeah, well he ain't here, so go the hell away.''

Seime scoffed, not believing him, ''I'm not leaving until I see him.''

''The hell you're not.'' He made to slam the door, but Seime stopped it with his foot. Kio glared at him and stil prevented him from entering the apartment.

''He isn't here and you are sure as hell not coming in. You're not the police nor do you have any right to enter my home. Go the fuck away.''

Seime stepped back away from the door and glared at Kio, ''I will be back, if I have to I will bring the police with me, unless you tell me where my brother is.''

Kio scoffed, ''I don't have to tell you shit, not to mention even if I did know where your brother was there's nothing in this world that would make me tell you.''

Seime smiled, ''Is that so?''

Kio stepped back from the door as Seime raised his hand at him. Before Kio knew what happened he was tackled to the ground by Youji and Natsuo let out a scream having taken the unseen attack from Seime. Seime walked into the apartment and knelt down next to the twitching form on the ground. Kio and Youji sat up and Youji glared angrily at Seime as he reached out for Natsuo. Youji yelled out, ''Don't you dare touch him!''

Seime turned to Youji coming at him and in one simple movement had him on the ground next to Natsuo. Then the bedroom door opened and Seime looked up with a smirk to Kio.

Kio looked over at Soubi and Ritsuka walking out of the room. Ritsuka was looking angrily at Seime as he rose to his feet. Seime made to step towards him but Ritsuka shouted out, ''STOP!"

Seime stopped and appeared to be a little hurt by the shout, then his eyes fell on the hand resting on his shoulder and the absence of Ritsuka's ears and tail. Rage flashed in his eyes and across his features. He glared at Soubi who stood unwavering behind Ritsuka.

Ritsuka broke his glared by saying with anger laced in his voice, ''Nii-san, you hurt my friends, you set the school on fire and killed people, why are you doing this, what is your purpose?''

Seime sighed, ''Ritsuka I did it for you . . . ''

Ritsuka cut him off, his tone harsher, ''Don't address me so informally Nii-san. That's also the worst answer you could give. You know it hurts me when others are hurt, and yet you say you do all of this for me.''

Seime looked at Ritsuka angrily, but Ritsuka stood his ground to the look. Then for the first time since Ritsuka was ten Seime spoke to him angrily; ''You chose him over me, my fighter over your own brother. You were supposed to be with only me. How can you give yourself to someone when you belong to me?''

Ritsuka stepped forward only to have Soubi pull him back. Ritsuka glared at Seime, ''I'm your brother, I'm not supposed to be with you. I don't belong to you. I chose to be with Soubi, and I will continue to be with him. You're not who you used to be Nii-san. It isn't healthy to think you own someone, especially when I'm your little brother.''

Seime calmed down considerably and this made Ritsuka and Soubi both tense. He looked at them calmly and then Ritsuka shivered when the calm look became predatory and possessive when his eyes locked with Ritsuka's.

Before Seime could say anything Soubi moved to stand in front of Ritsuka.

''I no longer belong to you either, I am with Ritsuka now. Seime-san, please leave.''

Seime glared intensely at Soubi and turned to leave, he said over his shoulder, ''If this is what you want, so be it.''

He then walked out of the apartment leaving the door open. Ritsuka ran past Soubi to kneel before Natsuo on the floor. Kio got to his feet and closed and locked the door. Soubi took his place next to Ritsuka and after a few minutes of Soubi using his hypnotism Natsuo was sleeping peacefully. Youji picked him up and with Kio's instruction moved him to Kio's bed. Kio stood in the doorway for a moment watching Youji brush his fingers through his lovers hair before closing the door and turning to look at Soubi and Ritsuka seated at the table. Soubi was pulling out his pack of cigarettes and Kio sighed, ''Sou-chan, this is a non smoking apartment, go smoke on the balcony.''

Soubi nodded and Ritsuka stood and followed him to the balcony at the end of the living room. He stepped outside with Soubi and Kio moved around the apartment cleaning up everything before setting to finding something to make for lunch. It would be a late lunch, since it was already a quarter to one in the afternoon.

Outside Ritsuka was leaned on the railing, his arms crossed over the metal bar gazing out into the city. Soubi stood next to him smoking his cigarette in silence glancing at Ritsuka every now and then. Ritsuka sighed and turned around leaning back on the railing with his arms crossed over his chest. He gazed at Soubi, his eyes alight as though he wanted to ask a question but couldn't find the words.

Soubi finished his cigarette and flicked it off the railing before turning to gaze at Ritsuka fully. Soubi leaned up against the small piece of wall next to the sliding door that led back into the living room. ''Ritsuka, what's on your mind?''

Ritsuka took a deep breath and met Soubi's eyes squarely, ''Soubi, I can never hate Seime, but I want to know, do you hate him?''

Soubi was silent a moment, slightly startled by the question. He ran it through his mind then sighed, ''No, I don't hate Seime either.''

Ritsuka nodded, ''Why don't you?''

Soubi shrugged on shoulder, ''I don't really know, I should considering, but I just can't hate him. If I'm really truthful to myself, the only thing keeping me from hating him is you.''

Ritsuka looked confusedly at him, ''Me?''

Soubi nodded, ''Yes, you kitten, because you love him I can't hate him.''

''Even after all he did to you?''

Soubi nodded once, ''Yes, even after all that.''

Ritsuka was silent a moment and made as if to ask another question but bit his lip and looked down at the ground. Soubi stepped away from the wall and pulled Ritsuka to him by the wrist, but they still stood a step away from one another. Soubi tilted Ritsuka's chin up to look at him, ''Ritsuka, what else did you want to say?''

Ritsuka averted his eyes and said softly, ''I'm sorry Soubi, I'm sorry you can't hate him because of me.''

Soubi smiled at him and said softly, ''Look at me Ritsuka.''

Ritsuka slowly moved his eyes to meet Soubi's, Soubi leaned down and kissed him deeply then when he pulled away he whispered, his breath ghosting over Ritsuka's lips and causing a shiver to pass through him; ''Don't be sorry kitten. He's your brother, you really shouldn't hate him.''

Soubi pulled away and turned to walk back inside. Ritsuka stopped him by grabbing his wrist and making him turn back to him. Ritsuka then startled him by kissing him deeply and pressing him into the door. Soubi gladly kissed him back and then he grabbed Ritsuka by the shoulders and held him away from him, ''We will continue this later.''

Ritsuka blushed and Soubi kissed him once more lightly on the lips then opened the door and motioned for Ritsuka to walk inside. Ritsuka paled suddenly and looked away from him. Soubi walked inside and held out his hand for Ritsuka, ''Kitten, come inside, Kio's made lunch.''

Ritsuka looked at him and took his hand and walked inside closing the door behind him. He shoved down that feeling that had risen in him suddenly and followed Soubi to the dining table. Kio looked over at them sitting at the table and said, ''Sou-chan, go and check on those brats.''

Soubi smiled and got up from his seat. Ritsuka watched him walk away and looked back at Kio when the door closed behind him. Kio smiled at Ritsuka and said to him, ''Rit-chan, I have found that I like you a lot more after spending the entire day with you.''

Ritsuka smiled, ''Thank you Kio-san, I guess I like you more as well.''

Kio laughed and went back to his cooking, he had decided to make miso ramen for lunch since it was easy, quick, and simple and he didn't feel up to cooking all that much after Seime's visit. He left out the real reason he like Ritsuka even more had to do with what he had said to Seime. He finished lunch up and after fixing a bowl for Soubi and Ritsuka he took two bowls into his room on a tray with two glasses of milk for Natsuo and Youji. Soubi and Ritsuka waited for him to return to the kitchen, fix himself a bowl and sit down with glass of milk before they started on their own lunch.

They ate quickly and silently lost in their own thoughts. Then once they finished, Ritsuka insisted on cleaning up since Kio had made lunch. Kio turned to Soubi, ''So how're they?''

Soubi nodded, ''Natsuo-kun will be fine Kio, he just needs to sleep it off. Luckily it was stopped before it did any serious harm.''

Soubi rose and helped Ritsuka finish cleaning up while Kio walked into his room and retrieved the dishes from Youji. He set to cleaning them insisting that he would do them and that Ritsuka had already insulted him enough for doing the dishes earlier. Ritsuka had been offended, but Kio laughed it off and told them to go in the living room.

Soubi sat on the couch next to Ritsuka, his arm over his shoulder combing his fingers through Ritsuka's hair as Ritsuka laid his head on Soubi's shoulder. The two sat in a comfortable silence and when Kio finished and sat down beside them on the couch he decided that they would watch a movie while waiting on the two guests to arrive. They ended up watching some old american action movie and it was just ending when their was another knock at the door. Kio turned off the t.v. and the movie and got to his feet heading for the door. Soubi said from his place at the couch, ''Check who it is before opening the door Kio.''

Kio glared at him, ''This is my house so don't tell me how to answer my door.''

Soubi pulled Ritsuka to his feet by his wrists and walked over to the balcony. They walked out onto the balcony and this time before Soubi closed the door he pulled the curtain back over the doors to make sure no one could see them standing outside.

Kio looked through the small window to the right of his door and saw that it was Yaiyo and Yuiko. He smiled and walked over to his door. He opened it with a smile, ''Hello Yaiyo-kun and Yuiko-chan, how are you two this afternoon?''

Yaiyo smirked, ''Fine, Kio-san.''

Yuiko smiled weakly at him but didn't answer. Kio looked at Yaiyo who gave a very slight nod. Kio held the door open for them, ''Come in you two."

Yuiko walked in first and Yaiyo followed her then led her over to the couch and after she sat down he turned and looked at Kio expectantly, ''So, Kio-san, what was it you had to talk to us about?''

Kio nodded and walked over to the balcony doors, he knocked lightly on it and pulled back the curtain sliding the door back a little. Yaiyo couldn't see what Kio was doing or who he was talking to, but he could hear him.

''It's alright, no one unexpected, so finish what you're doing and come and say hello.''

Then Kio closed the door and the curtain and walked over to the two. He looked at Yaiyo and said with a serious tone, ''Nothing you see or hear while you are here leaves this apartment. I'm serious, and don't ask me any questions, just swear that you will not say a word about who is you see here or what you here.''

Yaiyo nodded, ''Alright, I swear I won't say a word about anything.''

Kio nodded and looked at Yuiko, ''The same goes for you as well Yuiko-chan.''

She met his eyes and nodded. Kio sighed and stepped back behind the couch when he heard the sliding door open and the curtain shift as Soubi walked through into the living room. Yuiko and Yaiyo looked over at him and were about to look away when they noticed that one of his hands was behind him as though he were holding someone's hand.

Yuiko stood up and a light shown in her eyes that brought a smile to Yaiyo's face and to Kio's at seeing the smile on Yaiyo's.

Ritsuka walked into the living room and closed the door behind him. He turned back to see Yuiko just in time for her to hug him tightly, ''Ritsuka-kun!''

Ritsuka hugged her back and Soubi and Kio walked into the dining room and sat down. Yaiyo stood there shocked, not only at seeing Ritsuka, but at the fact that he no longer had his ears and tail. He blushed and glanced at Soubi who smiled at him. Once Ritsuka separated himself from Yuiko he walked over to the couch where she sat down and suddenly started crying. Ritsuka didn't have to look at Yaiyo to understand why she was crying.

He said softly, ''Yuiko-chan, I'm sorry about your parents, and that I worried you.''

She nodded and sniffed she had her head in her hands as she cried. Ritsuka knelt down in front of her and couldn't think of more to do than put his hand lightly on her knee. She had worn the same type of clothes since her parents were killed and Ritsuka had been missing. It was a pair of black, woman's slacks, and a gray, long sleeved shirt. Her hair was loose and Ritsuka could see the weariness about her as well as the exhausted and depressed look on her pale skin that wasn't covered by her clothes. After a few minutes of crying she sniffed and wiped at her eyes with her hands. Yaiyo handed Ritsuka a handkerchief which he gave to Yuiko.

Yuiko wiped her tears away and her nose and looked at Ritsuka.

''Ritsuka-kun, I don't blame you for my parents, it was an accident. I'm just glad you're okay.''

Ritsuka made to say something but closed his mouth and l0oked at Yaiyo. Yaiyo looked at him confusedly. Ritsuka sighed and smiled at Yuiko, ''Yuiko-chan, I have something that I need to tell you.''

She nodded then she suddenly noticed that his tail and ears were gone. She shrieked and embraced him making him fall onto the floor with her on top of him.

''Ritsuka, I'm so happy for you and Soubi-san!''

Ritsuka blushed and pushed her off him as he sat up. She smiled at him still and Ritsuka brushed himself off, ''Thank you Yuiko-chan.''

He got to his feet and walked past her to sit at the table with Kio and Soubi. Soubi pulled his suddenly by an arm around his waist before Ritsuka could sit down. Ritsuka tried to pull away but Soubi said into his ear, ''It's so they can sit at the table as well.''

Ritsuka huffed, ''There's another chair.''

Soubi chuckled as the two sat down in the empty chairs. Ritsuka growled and tried to stand, but Soubi held him firmly in his lap with both arms wrapped around his waist. Soubi nibbled at Ritsuka's ear lightly and whispered into his ear so that only he could hear, ''I rather enjoy the feeling of your ass over my . . . ''

Ritsuka cut him off, ''Soubi, stop talking like that,'' he was blushing darkly which made Yaiyo and Kio both chuckle. Yuiko was smiling at the sight of Ritsuka and Soubi and after a moment Kio cleared his throat and looked from Yaiyo to Yuiko, ''Well, it's good to see your smile again Yuiko-chan. Now, I think it's time these two started explaining some things.''

Everyone fell silent and then looked at Ritsuka and Soubi. Ritsuka unceremoniously removed himself from Soubi's lap and took the last remaining chair and sat down in between Yuiko and Soubi, he didn't object when Soubi laced their fingers together and placed their hands to rest on his lap.

Soubi looked at Kio, ''Well, it would be easier to talk if someone asked a question.''

Kio nodded and looked at Yaiyo, ''Well, you two start then.''

Yuiko and Yaiyo shared a glance and then Yaiyo asked while looking at Ritsuka, ''Where were you?''

Ritsuka sighed, ''Septimal Moon.''

Yuiko nodded, ''Is that the school for those fighters and such?''

Ritsuka nodded, ''Yes.''

Yaiyo continued, ''It's a school for both, isn't it/''

Ritsuka nodded again but didn't say anything else. Yaiyo then asked, ''Why did they want you to go there so badly?''

To this Kio answered, ''They think that Rit-chan is unique. He can become a fighter or a sacrifice.''

Yuiko asked him, ''Fighter or sacrifice?''

Ritsuka looked at Soubi who answered, ''A fighter is the one that does the actual fighting in a spell battle under the command of a fighter. The sacrifice is the master, he controls what the fighter does in a spell battle. But the sacrifice also takes the damage during a battle.''

Yuiko and Yaiyo shared a silent glance and then were silent for a few more moments. Yuiko then looked from Ritsuka to Soubi, ''But Soubi-san, Ritsuka-kun would never hurt anyone and I don't like the idea of him being hurt. That isn't why he was always bandaged up was it?''

Ritsuka said before Soubi could reply, ''Not always Yuiko-chan, but sometimes it was. My . . . m-mother was the reason most of the time.''

Yuiko's face paled in shock, ''Your mother?''

Ritsuka nodded, Yaiyo closed his eyes for a moment to hide the shock of having Ritsuka say it aloud, he had suspected, but had never said anything. Kio made to say something but Ritsuka continued, ''Yes, my mother abused me, she always had. For the time that Seime was there he stopped her, but he wasn't much help when he did the same thing.''

To this everyone was shocked, Soubi and Kio had never known that Seime had ever hurt Ritsuka. It made Kio hate him even more and made Soubi angry but at the same time he felt compassion for Ritsuka because even though not only his mother had hurt him, but his brother as well and yet he still loved them both. Soubi squeezed Ritsuka's hand tighter in his own.

Ritsuka took a deep breath and continued, ''Seime used to protect me from her when she became violent. When he wasn't there he would doctor my wounds from her. But there were times when he became angry with me and he would hurt me as well. Sometimes it wasn't always physical, just words, but they still hurt. After the accident that made me loose my memories of my life, before he had faked his death, he never tried to hurt me again. I know it had to do with the change in my personality. I wasn't popular anymore, I didn't have a lot of friends for him to be jealous over or possessive towards me about. That was something I never noticed until after the accident and I got my memories back. He still has a sick obsession with me, and it's nothing like how a brother should feel for a brother.''

Everyone sat in silence waiting, but Ritsuka wouldn't continue. Yaiyo spoke first, ''Were you hurt while you were at that school?''

Ritsuka, Soubi, and Kio tensed. Ritsuka lowered his gaze to stare at the table and said, ''Yes, but I'm fine now.''

Yuiko looked at him, ''You're sure you're alright Ritsuka-kun.''

Ritsuka nodded, ''I'm fine.''

She smiled at him, but she didn't press the issue. Yaiyo sighed, ''Well, is there anything else we should know?''

Ritsuka raised his gaze and glanced at the two of them before saying, ''Yes. It was them that night that set my home on fire and killed Yuiko's parents. That's why Soubi and I had stopped by to see you. We wanted to prevent something like that happening to you. That's also why we wanted to make sure you wouldn't tell anyone that I am back.''

Yaiyo nodded that he understood, but then he said, ''It doesn't make a difference now. I'm sure they know that Soubi-san and Kio-san know one another. Plus, they know that you left with Soubi-san. Now that we are here, and in broad daylight, there's bound to be someone that saw us if they are watching you. They attacked us once, they have known that we all know each other. What actual difference does it make?''

Ritsuka nodded, ''That may be so, but there's more than one reason not to let anyone else know I'm back.''

Soubi and Kio exchanged glances with one another. Yaiyo inquired, ''And, that is?"

''Seime, I'm sure with the way that he is, he will push for custody of me. I know my father left the country or at the least the city. My mother is dead and I don't have any other living relatives in Japan. So since I'm a minor, he's the only one available to take custody of me.'' Ritsuka's voice changed to one of grave understanding, ''That of course gives me the answer to why he appeared so suddenly, he may have been the one to set my home on fire in hopes that she would die and knowing our father would flee.''

Yaiyo nodded, ''Ah, well that's a good reason to want to stay off the radar. If you are still missing according to the authorities then it makes it all that much harder for Seime-san to get his way. But that also means that those guys from Septimal Moon could also benefit from that.''

Ritsuka nodded, ''Yes, but I would rather be safe from Seime and be with Soubi than safe from them, in Seime's grasp, and away from Soubi.''

Soubi smiled and Yuiko smiled broadly, ''That's so romantic.''

Kio and Yaiyo laughed and Ritsuka glared at her. She giggled, ''So everything will be okay soon?''

Ritsuka made to say something but Soubi cut him off, ''It's too soon to say so entirely.''


	12. Ch 11: Phantom Dreams

**Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless or any of the thumbnails used, those belong to Kougan-san and their respective artists.**

_Looks can be deceiving  
Time never stands still  
Hell is within grasp  
Heaven is out of reach_

**Phantom Dreams**

They all shared a quiet dinner together and then of course Kio and Soubi left the three inside to catch up while they enjoyed the night weather out on the small balcony of Kio's apartment. Yuiko wasn't all over Ritsuka, she actually kept her distance. It had taken her until only the three of them were sitting at the table to say something about Ritsuka's ears and tail.

''Ritsuka-kun, I think it's wonderful that Soubi was the one to take your ears.''

Ritsuka smiled and blushed, ''Thank you Youiko-chan.''

She nodded, ''It was good, wasn't it?''

Yaiyo blanched, ''Yuiko-chan!'

Ritsuka sighed, ''Yes it was fine.''

Yuiko smiled sweetly, ''That's wonderful, now me and Yaiyo-kun should loose our years so we will match."

Yaiyo shook his head, ''Yuiko-chan . . . ''

Yuiko giggled, ''I was only joking Yaiyo-kun, that's something that should happen between two people that love one another.''

Yaiyo and Ritsuka exchanged glances, it was moments like that when they noticed how much she had changed in the past four years. At sixteen she still stood taller than both of them, she had even grown more developed curves. At the moment those curves were hidden beneath the clothes she was wearing. Yaiyo was still taller than Ritsuka, but both of them had developed more masculine builds. Ritsuka was still lithe in his form, but not enough to make him look as feminine as he did when he was only twelve.

Ritsuka watched the two of them talk about everything going on at school. Apparently, his disappearance had caused a stir, especially since he was the mysterious type at school and only spoke to Yaiyo and Yuiko. He still wasn't all that popular and his attitude from the junior high and his grade school. He was still cold towards most everyone and never participated in school functions. He no longer had to see his psychiatrist every week, it was only an every other month meeting with her. He often found that he missed her at times, but was happy that he didn't need to see her all that often anymore. It was lack of interest and all the spell fighting that kept him away from school functions.

Yuiko was busy telling him about the girls at school always asking her about him. Yaiyo admitted that some of the guys asked about him as well. They ended up saying that when he returned to school that the other students would be depressed that he no longer had his ears because that meant he wasn't single. Ritsuka said nothing of the matter, he normally blew them off when they tried to ask him out. He'd had eyes only for Soubi for four years now, even if it had been illegal for them to be together until he turned sixteen.

Silence fell over them for a while until Yuiko spoke quietly.

''Ritsuka-kun, will they try to hurt us and Yaiyo-kun's family again?''

Ritsuka tensed at the softly spoken question. He nodded slowly, ''Yes, they probably will Yuiko-chan.''

Yaiyo looked at him, ''Ritsuka-kun, I know you've thought about what to do regarding that. What do you think you will do?''

Ritsuka closed his eyes in thought for a moment and then looked at him. ''Yaiyo-kun, the only thing I can think of probably won't be something either of you will agree on. I haven't said anything to Soubi about it yet.''

Yaiyo and Yuiko nodded and mover closer to him. He sighed and continued, ''Well, I was thinking that maybe we should leave. If we leave Japan then maybe they will leave everyone here alone.''

''But that's running away,'' Yaiyo commented.

''I agree, how will you know for certain that will work Ritsuka-kun?''

''By the time you find out it didn't work, it will be too late to do anything about it.''

Ritsuka sighed again, ''I know, but there's still a chance that they will leave you alone.''

''That's not the way they work Ritsuka,'' came Soubi's reply. Ritsuka, Yaiyo, and Yuiko all jumped at the sound of his voice and turned to see him standing a few feet from the table with his arms crossed over his chest.

Ritsuka jumped to his feet, ''Then what do we do? We already know that we can't beat them. So are we supposed to just let them do whatever they want?''

Soubi walked over to Ritsuka and held him by his shoulders, ''Ritsuka, I'm not saying that we shouldn't do nothing. I'm just saying that running away will accomplish nothing, that is what they would want.''

Ritsuka shook his head violently, ''But what do we do . . . I don't want them to do anything else. They killed . . . Yui . . . they k-killed her family and they . . . ''

Soubi embraced Ritsuka's shaking form and held him close to him. He rubbed his back, ''Ritsuka, please calm down, I know we have to do something. I know you don't want anyone else to get hurt.''

Ritsuka nodded and nuzzled into his chest while wrapping his arms tightly around Soubi's waist. Soubi let him calm himself down before holding him by his shoulders and looking him in the eyes, ''I will do whatever I can to stop them from hurting anyone else. I promise Ritsuka.''

Ritsuka nodded, ''I know . . . ''

Yuiko looked at Ritsuka, ''Ritsuka-kun, can I ask you something?''

Ritsuka nodded and allowed Soubi to pull him down onto his lap as he took a seat at the table. Ritsuka looked at her, ''Yes, what is it Yuiko-chan?''

She took a deep breath, ''Before I ask, do you promise you will answer no matter what it is?''

Ritsuka was silent a moment but then he nodded, ''I promise.''

She nodded, ''Okay, what I want to ask is . . . what did they do to you while you were there at that school? You were gone for a few days after all, there had to be a reason you couldn't come back.''

Everyone tensed, Kio was standing in the kitchen leaned against the counter. He was looking directly at Ritsuka now as well as Yaiyo and Yuiko. Soubi tightened his hold on Ritsuka, his arms embracing him around the waist. Ritsuka tensed in his arms and Soubi could feel his breathing hitch slightly. There was a long moment of silence before Ritsuka took a deep breath.

''They didn't do all that much. I was hurt pretty badly when I arrived. Jace was rough with me, but he didn't hit me or anything. I met with his sensei, who happens to be the principal or something. He took me to the nurse after Jace left. I spent two days with her, she was really nice and explained that I had a natural hypnosis for healing or something. But I still have scars from the actual spell battle because we lost or the opponent was that much stronger than we were. After I was deemed healed enough she took me back to their principal and I was given a choice between three teachers as to who I wanted to be handed over to for the fighter lessons. I could have had him, Soubi's old sensei, or that one I ended up with. I told him that anyone would be better than him or Soubi's ex-sensei. It was that teacher that . . . umm . . . left me in the condition I was in when Soubi and Kio-san arrived.''

Soubi's hold tightened for a moment and Ritsuka took a deep breath before he continued.

''He . . . wanted to test my . . . pain t-tolerance.''

Ritsuka looked past Yuiko and focused on the wall saying in an emotionless tone of voice; ''He used a whip, until I pulled it away from him. I was angry, I wanted to hurt him back b-but I c-couldn't. I tried to t-tell myself that I should f-fight back, but I . . . w-wasn't able t-to. Then he b-be h-hit me . . . ''

Ritsuka hung his head, he couldn't make himself say anymore. Soubi held him tightly and kissed Ritsuka's neck lightly. Yuiko, Yaiyo, and Kio remained silent unable to force Ritsuka to say anymore. They all sat in silence and Ritsuka bit his lip to keep himself from crying. Soubi shifted after a while and moved to get Ritsuka to get up. Soubi stood up and held Ritsuka's hand tightly in his own. He looked around at everyone, ''I believe it's time for the two of us to go. Yuiko-chan, I'm glad that you are alright, you as well Yaiyo-kun. Thank you for all you've done, be careful on your way home and call if you need anything.''

Yaiyo nodded, ''Your welcome and I will, be careful yourselves.''

Soubi nodded, he placed a hand on Yuiko's shoulder when she tried to get up. ''Goodnight Yuiko, we will be in touch.''

She nodded and watched them walk over to the door. Ritsuka glanced back at them and offered a small smile before turning to the door again. Soubi waved at Kio, ''See you later, let me know how those two are later.''

Kio nodded, ''Of course Sou-chan, be careful.''

Soubi nodded and let Ritsuka open the door remembering the incident on the balcony between them earlier. The two of them exited the apartment and walked silently to Soubi's car.

Kio sighed and sat down at the table, ''So, are the two of you doing alright?''

Yaiyo nodded, ''As good as expected.''

Yuiko smiled weakly, ''I'm glad that they are alright now, but I didn't mean to upset Ritsuka-kun."

Yaiyo placed his hand over hers, ''It's alright Yuiko-chan.''

Kio nodded, ''It is alright, Sou-chan and I were trying to get him to tell us, it's something that needed to be said. Thank you for your help Yuiko-chan.''

She nodded, ''It still upset him though . . . and they had to leave.''

Kio sighed, ''Yuiko-chan, he was upset, but he still needed to say it. It will help him come to terms with what happened and better understand it as well. It really is a good thing, even if he did end up upset over it. He was upset when it happened as well, I'm sure.''

Yaiyo nodded, ''He's right Yuiko-chan. I think we should get going, it's getting late.''

She nodded and smiled at Kio, ''Thank you Kio-san, this was definitely a wonderful night.''

Kio smiled, ''Of course, uhh . . . before you leave, do either of you have their cell numbers?''

Yaiyo shook his head, ''Umm, no.''

Kio gave a short laugh, ''Of course not, those two never thought of that.''

Kio took out his cell phone and scrolled through it, he got up from his chair and walked over to his entertainment center taking a small tablet and pen from the one of the shelves. He wrote down two copies of both numbers and returned to the table. He handed them each a copy and said as Yaiyo took his, ''After you store them, burn the papers. They may already have their numbers, but just in case.''

Yaiyo nodded and stood, Yuiko got to her feet and walked over to the door. Yaiyo smiled, ''Goodnight Kio-san, keep in touch.''

Kio smiled, ''Of course . . . umm . . . goodnight, be careful.''

Yaiyo hesitated for a minute then bowed his head and joined Yuiko at the door. He followed her out the door and looked back at Kio before closing it behind him. Kio sighed and walked over to the door and locked it. Then he checked on Youji and Natsuo, both of them were sleeping peacefully in his bed. He sighed and walked over to his bathroom and took out a pillow and blanket from the cabinet and returned to the living room. He sat down on the couch and looked around the apartment, he still needed to clean the dishes from dinner and cut off all the lights, and check the windows and doors. He sighed and set the blanket and pillow next to him on the couch then got to his feet.

After cleaning the kitchen, the dining room, clearing away everything, turning off the lights, locking the windows and the balcony doors he finally sat down on his couch with a deep sigh. He jumped when his cell phone went off suddenly. He pulled it out of his pocket and smiled, it was Yaiyo sending him a text message.

_'I made it home, Yuiko-chan was in tears again when we got home, but she finally fell asleep.'_

Kio replied back, _'Well it's good that she is showing emotion again. I'm glad she's sleeping. You should get some sleep yourself.'_

Yaiyo replied back, 'I will, I'm already used to getting through the day with only a few hours of sleep. She's a handful, but she's my best friend so it's not like it's a burden, it's just trying.'

Kio replied back, _'It's good that you're devoted to your friends. Well, since you're not sleeping, what's on your mind?'_

There was a moment before Yaiyo replied, _'You, to tell the truth. I have been getting the feeling lately that things are different between us.'_

Kio smirked, _'I'm flattered that I'm on your mind. Really? Could you define different?'_

_'This, flirting, I don't even realize that I'm flirting with you or that you're flirting with me until I think about it later on.'_

_'Are you not interested or freaked out about it?'_

_'No, that's not it, I was just checking that it wasn't a figment of my imagination.'_

_'Of course not, well . . . do you want to do anything about it?'_

_'I don't know just yet, but I won't say I'm not interested.'_

Kio yawned, he was feeling exhausted after such a long day. He sighed and replied to Yaiyo; _'I hate to cut this conversation short, but it's been a really long day and I'm exhausted. Call me tomorrow, I want to finish this conversation.'_

_'Oh, that's alright, get some sleep. I will talk to you tomorrow, goodnight Kio-san.'_

Kio smiled, '_You can just call me Kio, Yaiyo-kun.'_

_'Thank you, goodnight again, Kio.'_

_'Goodnight Yaiyo-kun.'_

Kio closed his phone and set it down on the table on the side of the couch. He pulled his shirt and pants off after making his pallet on the couch. He laid down and gazed up at the ceiling before turning on his side and closing his eyes. He feel asleep soon, thoughts of Yaiyo and all that had happened circling in his mind.

Ritsuka tossed in his sleep that night, Soubi laying awake watching him, trying to wake him from whatever dreams were haunting him. Their love making that night had been slow and languid, Ritsuka had been upset when they got home, but he had fallen asleep with a smile on his face. Now it was a few hours after he had fallen asleep and he had been muttering and tossing and turning in his sleep for a while now.

Soubi shook him by the shoulder, but Ritsuka shied away from the touch and moved to the edge of the bed. Soubi grabbed him and pulled him to lie against him. He turned on his side and held Ritsuka around the waist, Ritsuka's back into his chest. Ritsuka struggled at first but seemed to relax after a moment. Soubi whispered in his ear, ''It's alright, I'm here Ritsuka, it's only a dream.''

Soubi continued to whisper to him until Ritsuka started to breath deeply again and then closed his eyes and let himself drift off the sleep with Ritsuka.

Ritsuka was deep into his dreamworld again. It was a world shrouded in darkness, always beginning in the same way. He was in his house, the flames all around him. He could hear and feel his mothers' shrill scream and felt as though his heart was ripped from his chest. He would turn in the hallway that led to his front door and see his brother being engulfed in flames. The scene changed and he was standing in Yuiko's front yard, but Yuiko was standing in the doorway, the house would explode and he would hear her screams as he was thrown back into the street. Ritsuka got up and ran towards the house and the aftershock would send him back again, more screams, the bone chilling screams of his friend and her family being burned alive. Then the scene changed again.

Now he was at Kio's apartment, Yaiyo, Kio, Natsuo, and Youji would be sitting in the living room playing cards together. Then darkness surrounded them and all he would hear was their screams, agonizing, piercing screams. Then the scene would return and they would be seen on the floor, blood all over them and the floor. Ritsuka screamed everytime and when his eyes closed to block it out he would open them to Soubi's apartment.

He would see himself and Soubi lying in the bed, asleep, cuddled together. The first time he had this dream, a few nights ago, he would smile softly at the sight. But knowing what was going to happen next in this nightmare, he couldn't smile, only feel hollow inside. He watched himself on the bed rise and pull a knife from beneath the pillow. He screamed out, trying to awaken Soubi, but it never did anything. Then he would watch in absolute horror as he stabbed Soubi, over and over, and over again. The gore itself wasn't enough to staunch the heart wrenching feeling of loosing Soubi or knowing that he was killing him.

Soubi was startled awake by Ritsuka's screams, he sat up and pulled Ritsuka onto his lap and held him close. He rocked him and whispered softly, ''Ritsuka, calm down, it's only a nightmare.''

Ritsuka's screams softened into painful moans and Soubi said louder, ''Ritsuka, wake up. It's alright, it's only a nightmare.''

Ritsuka's eyes finally opened and he shook violently, drenched in a feverish, cold sweat, his breathing ragged. He turned and curled in Soubi's lap and buried his face in Soubi's chest, tears flowing freely. Soubi combed his fingers through his hair, ''I'm here Ritsuka.''

Ritsuka calmed after a few minutes of crying, every sob and tear on his chest breaking his heart slowly. It was so very painful when Ritsuka cried or felt any kind of pain, it hurt him as though he were the one in pain. Ritsuka sniffed and pulled back, Soubi bent down and kissed away the tears on his face tenderly.

Ritsuka looked into his eyes, ''I'm sorry, I-I . . . ''

Soubi kissed him on the lips, ''Shh, it was only a dream Ritsuka.''

Ritsuka closed his eyes and Soubi wiped away the tears that fell down his cheeks. Soubi laid back down and pulled Ritsuka down with him. Ritsuka laid his head down on Soubi's chest and rested his hand on his stomach. Soubi continued to comb his fingers through Ritsuka's damp hair. His other hand rested over Ritsuka and Ritsuka laced their fingers together.

Ritsuka whispered to Soubi as his eyes closed once more, ''Skidaiyo Soubi.''

Soubi kissed the top of his head, ''Skidaiyo Ritsuka, try to get some sleep kitten.''

Ritsuka hummed but tried to let the feeling of Soubi holding him in him arms sooth away his nightmares. He fell into a light sleep letting the safe, warmth he felt from Soubi sooth him, but too shaken from the nightmares to fall into another deep sleep. The dreams had been terrible before, but ever since what had happened because of Septimal Moon, he couldn't shake them at all. Not only that, but they had gotten worse, now they had actual events to go with.

Soubi stayed awake, three times was enough for him in one night and Ritsuka's screams and tears haunted him too much for him to be able to get any sleep.


	13. Ch 12: Darkai Heitara

**Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless or any of the thumbnails, those are products of Kouga-san and their respective artists.**

_A/N: Darkai-Darkness Heitara-Within [Language from my book]_

**_In the midst of Darkness _**

**_Lies the light within _**

**_Every heart, every soul _**

**_Both coexist within us all_**

**  
Darkai Heitara**

Soubi smiled tiredly at Ritsuka when he woke fully a few hours later. Ritsuka sat up and gazed at him, ''Did you sleep at all?''

Soubi shook his head, ''No, I didn't, but did you get any sleep kitten?''

Ritsuka nodded, ''A little, I'm sorry.''

Soubi leaned up and kissed Ritsuka lightly on the lips, ''It's alright. As long as you got some sleep I'm happy kitten.''

Ritsuka shifted on the bed and moved to sit on Soubi's stomach, Soubi smiled up at him and reached up to stroke his cheek. Ritsuka smiled and held Soubi's hand on his cheek. Soubi held his hand and brought it to his lips, he kissed the tips of his fingers and then his palm and then held his hand to his own cheek. A blush dusted Ritsuka's cheeks at the notion and Soubi's other hand moved to the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Ritsuka happily obliged and moved his lips against Soubi's.

Soubi's tongue lightly brushed over his bottom lip and Ritsuka immediately parted his lips and let his tongue taste the inside of his mouth for a while before moving his tongue against his. Soubi smiled into the kiss, he savored the sweet taste that was Ritsuka, there was a slight bitterness given the morning breath. Soubi pulled out of the kiss and held Ritsuka back by his shoulder.

''Shower.''

Ritsuka laughed and climbed off him and out of the bed. Soubi sat up and watched him walk over to the bathroom. He had a smirk on his face as he enjoyed the view of Ritsuka's bar back side. The curve of his hips, the seductive sway only made Soubi laugh low in his throat. Soubi got out of the bed quickly when Ritsuka stopped at the door and smiled at him over his shoulder. Soubi walked quickly to the bathroom and pulled Ritsuka into him to kiss him long and deep before closing the door behind them. Ritsuka smirked into the kiss.

Soubi pulled back, ''Teasing me are you sexy kitten?''

Ritsuka laughed and walked the few steps to the shower and turned the water on to a comfortable setting. He pulled the curtain back and stepped into the shower after turning the shower head on. Soubi stepped in behind him and lightly ran his fingers down Ritsuka's back as the water from the shower soaked him down. A smile graced his lips at the slick feel of Ritsuka's soft, porcelain skin.

Ritsuka shivered and moved closer to the facet, Soubi snaked his arm around Ritsuka and pulled him into him causing Ritsuka to maon softly at the feel of being pressed against him while their skin was slick with water.

Soubi pressed his nose into the crook of Ritsuka's neck and ran his tongue over his skin, lapping at the water on Ritsuka's skin. Ritsuka shuddered and then he pulled away and turned in the shower with a scolding look, "We're supposed to be showering Soubi."

Soubi chuckled, "Yes, of course Ritsuka." He grabbed the rag and lathered it in soap then set to scrubbing his arms clean. Ritsuka washed and rinsed his hair and watched Soubi do the same. Soubi then put more soap on the rag and started to wash Ritsuka's skin, Ritsuka didn't object.

When Soubi started to kiss his skin after the soap was rinsed from his body, Ritsuka felt his skin flush. Then Soubi knelt down before him and massaged his legs with the soapy rag. Ritsuka shuddered when Soubi moved the rag lightly over his shaft and then he was caught by surprise when Soubi turned him around towards the other end of the shower.

Ritsuka shivered from the cold of no longer having the water washing over him. Soubi had moved to kneel down before him again and he had his hands gripping Ritsuka's hips. Soubi looked up at him with a smile, and that darker shade of blue made Ritsuka shudder again, "Soubi, what are you . . . Nghh . . . "

Soubi cut off his question when without warning he engulfed Ritsuka's cock in his mouth. The feeling had Ritsuka throwing his head back and panting heavily, he felt the blood rushing to his groin and leaving him feeling light headed. He didn't suppress his deep throated moan when Soubi swallowed around him, his hands settled to grabbing onto Soubi's shoulder to keep his balance.

Ritsuka looked down and felt even more blood rush to his groin to find Soubi watching him. Then he felt his entire body tense when Soubi moaned around his erection in his hot mouth. Ritsuka's head fell back against the wall of the shower in a silent scream as he orgasmed.

Soubi sucked him dry and Ritsuka watched him through glazed eyes as he licked his lips feeling more blood rush through him from the sight. Soubi smirked and stood up and pulled Ritsuka to him back under the cooling water of the shower. Once he deemed the two of them rinsed off enough he turned off the water and stepped out.

He grabbed a towel for himself and handed one to Ritsuka as he stepped out of the shower. The two headed out of the bathroom and Soubi went through his dresser to look for some clothes for both of them. He managed to find Ritsuka a blue t-shirt that was only one size bigger than him. He found that the boxers he gave Ritsuka might be a little long, but they could be adjusted at the waist.

Ritsuka dressed quickly after Soubi found him a pair of old jeans that he could no longer fit in. Soubi dressed in his usual khaki pants over light blue boxers. His choice in color made Ritsuka want to laugh at him, the blue shirt he now wore was a little lighter than he liked, but would have to do until he found a way to get some new clothes.

Soubi pulled on his lavender button up shirt and looked at Ritsuka sitting on the bed running a brush through his hair. Soubi smiled at him and moved over to sit on the bed next to him. He caught Ritsuka's hand stopping his movements, when Ritsuka looked at him questioningly Soubi said, "Let me Ritsuka."

Ritsuka smiled and let go of the brush. Soubi shifted on the bed to sit behind him and gently ran the brush through his hair. His fingers soon followed the brush and Ritsuka relaxed and closed his eyes. Soubi leaned forwards and softly whispered in his ear, "Would you let me brush your hair more often kitten?"

Ritsuka was too relaxed to mind the nickname Soubi had taken to calling him by. Ritsuka nodded and Soubi kiss the skin beneath his neck. He pulled away and brushed his hair and Ritsuka turned around on the bed to watch him, "Soubi . . . "

Soubi stopped and looked at him, "What is it Ritsuka?"

"Why do you keep calling me kitten even though I told you not too?"

Soubi smirked and leaned towards him to kiss him lightly on the lips. Then he whispered softly, "Because you purr just like a kitten."

Ritsuka scowled and pulled away, "I do not!"

Soubi chuckled, "Okay Ritsuka."

Ritsuka huffed and crossed his arms over his chest and then said angrily, "I do not purr."

Soubi chuckled again, finished brushing his hair and then he shifted on the bed and grabbed Ritsuka's wrist pulling his arms away from his chest and brought his hands to his lips kissing each knuckle. Then he smiled at Ritsuka, "Yes you do, especially when you sleep, you even curl up like a kitten."

Ritsuka huffed and let out a short cry when he found himself lying on his back, Soubi holding his wrists in his hands on either side of his head and looking down at him. Ritsuka locked eyes with Soubi and felt himself blush at the darkened blue eyes peering into his own.

Soubi smiled softly and leaned his head down to kiss Ritsuka lightly on the lips a smirk curling his lips when Ritsuka leaned into the kiss trying to keep it going. Soubi's knees were next to Ritsuka's hips and he shifted again to move his legs in between Ritsuka's who spread his legs to give him room.

Soubi then trailed kisses along Ritsuka's jawline and neck, all of them no more than butterfly kisses. Ritsuka smirked as he called the light kisses butterfly kisses in his mind, even though his skin was flushed already and it felt as though a trail of fire was just lightly touching his skin in every place Soubi's lips touched his flesh.

Soubi released one of Ritsuka's wrists and trailed his fingers lightly down Ritsuka's arm and down his side making Ritsuka shiver under his touch. Soubi growled under his breath when his phone started to go off. Ritsuka looked hazedly at the ringing phone on the small nightstand.

Soubi sat up and Ritsuka sat up as well thinking, 'Who would be calling in the middle of the night?'

Soubi reached over to the phone and flipped it open, "Hello?"

"Sou-chan, I know it's late, I wouldn't call you in the middle of the night with your 'kitten' there anyway. But something is going on."

Soubi got off the bed and stood up, Ritsuka moved to sit on the edge of the bed looking at him with worry in his eyes. Soubi offered a small smile and addressed Kio, "So what 'is' going on?"

"I was talking to Yaiyo-kun on the phone and then the line suddenly went dead. I tried to call him back, but the line was busy."

Soubi turned away from Ritsuka which made Ritsuka stand up and ask, "What's going on?"

"Did I wake both of you up?"

"We were already awake Kio, how long has it been?"

"At least three hours now, I even drove over there. It didn't look like anyone was home." Soubi could here knocking in the background.

"Hold on Sou-chan, maybe that's him."

Soubi waited for a moment and he heard Kio walk over to the door telling him he still had the phone with him. He heard rustling and then Kio came back on the phone and said quietly as the knocking got even louder, "Sou-chan, it's not him . . . " The banging got louder and Soubi started putting his socks and shoes on briskly still holding the phone to his ear.

Ritsuka put on his socks and shoes as well and ran over to the door unlocking it. Soubi shouted at him, "Don't!"

Ritsuka stopped, turned and leaned against the door and looked at Soubi.

Soubi heard more banging and crashes, then he heard shouting, most like Natsuo and Youji. He heard a painful yell and yelled into the phone, "KIO! Talk to me!"

Ritsuka paled and swallowed clenching his fists at his side. Soubi tensed when he heard Kio shout, the phone obviously away from him, "Get out Sou . . . " the line then went dead. Soubi pocketed his phone and ran over to his door.

Ritsuka straightened and pulled the door open then he was pulled out of the apartment by his wrist before he could close and lock the door. Ritsuka said to Soubi as they ran down the stairs to his car, "What about the door?"

Soubi shook his head as he unlocked the car and got in, "Don't worry about it."

Ritsuka nodded and suddenly remembered, "My phone, I left my phone inside."

Soubi nodded and turned and ran up the stairs and back inside, he snatched Ritsuka's phone from the floor next to the dresser and turned to run back outside when he momentarily froze to shouts and the sounds of gunshots.

Soubi ran out of the apartment and jumped over the railing landing with a roll next to Ritsuka on the ground. There was blood beneath him and Soubi paled at the obvious wound in his stomach. Soubi carefully picked him up and put him in the backseat. Soubi closed the car door, ran around the car to get in the front seat, his hands shaking as he put his key in the ignition and started the car.

He peeled out of the parking spot and floored it when he pulled into the street. He headed for the freeway. The clenching of his heart tightened the further away he drove, he had to choose right now, his best friend, or his lover. This was a matter of life and death for both of them, it was going to be one or the other.

Soubi brought up a hand to wipe at the tears falling from his eyes as he headed for the hospital.

The shooters followed him there, two members from Septimal Moon. They knew that Ritsuka would live, but only if Soubi took him to the hospital. As for everyone of their friends, they planned to make it so that their friends did not. Now they had them cornered, no one could hide them, and with Ritsuka hurt, they couldn't run away either.

The driver smiled, "He thought he could escape us, foolish boy." The rear view mirror showed only pale, cold, green eyes, there was a hint of red hair and pale skin, but his gaze shifted to the road and the hood he wore curtained his face.

The one next to him, beneath the dark cloak was Jace, having resigned from his previous teacher, before he'd shot him dead. The school was now nothing more than a battle ground, a few of the students were still left alive, but the seven leaders were only those who agreed to work together with Jace and the man beside him.


	14. Ch 13: Approaching Darkness

**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless or the thumbnails used, those belong to Kouga-san.**

**_Darkness surrounding  
Enveloping all the light  
No longer shielded by  
That everlasting beacon_  
**

**Approaching Darkness**

Soubi knew he was close to hyperventilating, he knew that Kio was most likely dead as well as the Zero pair. But he found his mind hazed with worry over them and over what could happen to Yaiyo and Yuiko, the remainder of his focus was on the painful short breaths of his lover in the back seat. He kept glancing back at him in the rear view mirror and had spotted the car following them as well.

His mind went on overdrive at the site of the headlights behind him, he knew this was the actions of Septimal Moon. He was disgusted by their underhanded tactics and their vulgar displays of violence. It eventually enraged him but it would dissolve into deep seeded concern towards Ritsuka when a whimper or gasp of pain left those pale lips. The paleness to Ritsuka's skin as well as the feverish appearance and the pained expression went straight to his heart.

He finally pulled up to the e.r. entrance and quickly got out of the car and picked Ritsuka up into his arms and walked up to the automatic doors. It never registered to him that he had blood all over him or that it was staining and ruining his pants and shirt. He heard the horrified gasp from the pale, lithe, blond nurse behind the nurse station and the hurried steps as she came over to him.

Soubi tightened his hold on Ritsuka when she reached up to touch a slender hand to his forehead and she directed him with a hand on his elbow towards the large blue double doors as she called out for a doctor.

Soubi finally managed to find his voice once a doctor and the nurse placed Ritsuka carefully onto a gurney. Ritsuka grasped his hand desperately as he was wheeled away towards surgery and the nurse grabbed his arm to keep him from following as she asked, "Sir, I need you to fill out some paper work. We need to know his name, blood type, and if he's allergic to any medication."

Soubi's mind went blank for a minute and he stared blankly at her. She offered a smile, "Sir, please come this way," she led him towards a small office room, with green walls and brownish furniture. It was a small room, like a waiting room really. She directed him to sit down and knelt down in front of him, "Sir, can you tell me what happened?"

Soubi swallowed and closed his eyes momentarily to calm himself down. He took a few deep breaths before opening his eyes and looking at her. Then he managed in a relatively calm, albeit slighty shaken voice, "He was shot, I didn't see who it was, but they followed us here."

She nodded, noting that she needed to call the police to come and speak to him and then asked gently, "What is his name?"

"Ritsuka, Ritsuka Aoyogi."

She nodded and quickly wrote that down on the clip board Soubi just noticed she was holding in her hand. It made it painfully obvious as to how out of it he really was. He tried to focus on the nurse still kneeling down in front of him as she addressed him once more.

"How old is he?"

"Sixteen."

She nodded, "And you sir?"

"My name is Soubi Agatsuma, I'm twenty-four."

She nodded and wrote everything down then stood, "Alright Agatsuma-san, one more question for you. What are you to Aoyogi-san?"

Soubi sighed, "I'm his lover."

She nodded with a sad smile, "Thank you, please remain here, we will have someone come and speak with you soon. I will also need for you to fill out some paperwork, which I will bring to you, along with a change of clothes."

Soubi just gave a slight nod and watched her exit the room. He took his phone from his pocket and dialed Kio's phone number. He called it at least five times and didn't get an answer. He then took Ritsuka's phone from his other pocket and with shaky hands opened it and scrolled through his contacts, Ritsuka had his name under butterfly and it brought a slight smile to his face. He paused over Kio's name and hit send on Yaiyo's. He felt relief flood through him when Yaiyo answered after the third try.

Yaiyo's voice was groggy and tired, "Hello?"

Soubi took a sharp inhale, "Are you alright?"

Yaiyo's voice was suddenly alert, "Soubi-san? Why are you calling me? Is something going on?"

Soubi cut off his questions, "Nothing to be concerned about, something happened and Ritsuka-kun was concerned and wanted to call everyone and check on them. He was concerned about being rude but I couldn't talk him out of not worrying."

Yaiyo was silent and then he said in a serious tone Soubi wasn't really accustomed to, "So something is going on then. Ritsuka-kun isn't usually all that concerned about calling me in the middle of night."

Soubi paused wondering if that was true and settled with, "Ah, well he wouldn't leave me alone about it, so I took the initiative."

Yaiyo hummed and said, "Right, well, how about I just call Kio-san, I'm sure he will tell me."

Soubi clenched his teeth, "Kio has the tendency to ignore his phone in the middle of the night."

Yaiyo sighed, "Well, thanks for waking me up Soubi-san. Can I talk to Ritsuka-kun"  
"He's taking a shower, it was the only way I could get his phone and call you to make sure you were okay without . . . "

Yaiyo finished, "Invoking his wrath, I understand. Well, goodnight then Soubi-san."

"Goodnight."

He hung up before Yaiyo could say anything else and hung his head, Ritsuka had made him hate lying and he knew that right now was not the best time to do so with everyone in danger. But he just didn't want to make Yaiyo worry because it would make Yuiko worry and then it would upset Ritsuka. But Ritsuka would also be upset that he hadn't warned his friends, especially if something happened to them.

Yaiyo closed his phone and fully awake now threw the blanket and sheet off him. He couldn't help but feel as though something very serious or at the least very big was going on. Soubi and he had never socialized, they said hello and acknowledged one another. But that was because he was always hanging around Ritsuka, which in turn he had become friends with because of his childish jealousy of Yuiko's infatuation with him and him with her. He considered them both to be childish now, considering that Ritsuka had no interest in Yuiko in a intimate or relationship way at all, he'd had eyes for only Soubi since the older man had walked into his life.

Yaiyo knew nothing of Ritsuka's older brother or of what his relationship entailed with the older man. He wasn't inclined to find out to tell the truth, but he did worry about his friend Ritsuka. The evident concern Kio had for the pair had made him feel somewhat concerned about Soubi, but mostly more concerned on his friend.

He'd grown to become good friends with Kio, his sense of humor and sarcasm, the way he goaded Soubi about Ritsuka, and his teasing towards, well, everyone really. In the past few years he'd come to see Kio as a valued friend and with his intellect the two of them often discussed what they believed was going on in this secret, unspoken life that Soubi and Ritsuka seemed to live in outside of what they saw of the pairs' daily life.

It had been through Kio that he'd learned somewhat of this Fighter and Sacrifice thing and the spell battles. But he far from understood any of it. He had never really thought much on it until the pair was gone for days at a time and came back battered and hurt. It wasn't until the past two years that Ritsuka had started coming back distant and more injured than the older man. He had noticed the guilty look Soubi had when Ritsuka winced, or he or they noticed the bandages. If was as though he was the one doing the damage, even though Ritsuka held no contempt or fear towards him.

Kio later went on that in truth, Soubi was truly very gentle and despised acts of violence towards another. It wasn't a pacifism ideal, but he would never hurt Ritsuka. It wasn't until Yaiyo had seen it personally that he'd believed it, he didn't know the older man well enough and he was always a mystery to him. It had happened one day at the park.

*****Flashback*****

_All five of them had been enjoying at time at the park together, and Ritsuka had brought his camera. It had been when the summer before they started high school. He wanted to take pictures of everyone together to document how much they had changed over the years. He hadn't been taking a lot of pictures lately, but it had been because his life was more hectic than anyone other than Soubi knew. It had never been out of lack of interest. That was one of the few things being friends with Ritsuka often offered, he loved taking pictures and had become quite good at it._

_Well, they were posed to take a picture together, stopping a passerby to take a full group picture. Then they took pictures of the three soon to be high school students, Soubi taking the pictures of course. Then a few of Soubi and Kio together, and Ritsuka and Soubi together. That had been a time where it was very hard to keep Yaiyo from bursting out laughing at the bristled way Ritsuka stubbornly tried to get out of it._

_Then they'd wandered around for a while, enjoying the outdoors and Yaiyo and Kio had been talking with Yuiko about the different things to make using her favorite ingredient ichigo. _(Couldn't resist, it does mean strawberries ^^)_ They'd been startled out of their chatter when they heard a loud splash and Ritsuka crying out Soubi's name fearfully._

_That had changed Yaiyo's view of Soubi entirely that day. A group of Seniors had gathered around the pair. They had been sitting close to the fountain, being more open with their relationship by then they had been sitting close and Soubi had been whispering softly in Ritsuka's ear about something. At least the last time he had noticed._

_They were shouting obscenities and insults at the pair and Ritsuka was seen helping Soubi get to his feet. The three of them had wandered over and of course Kio, had managed to get to the pair. Soubi wasn't against violence and was sporting a busted lip, to which Yaiyo later discovered was from a rock that had been aimed at Ritsuka._

_Yuiko was clutching to his arm, but his eyes were trained on the dark gaze in Soubi's eyes. As well as the harsh glare Ritsuka was giving them. Then one of them had called Ritsuka something very vulgar that insinuated insulting him about clinging to Soubi. They made a few vulgar statements about their being male and together as well and Yaiyo thought he and Kio were going to end up hitting one of them._

_Kio being a active pacifist aside, he looked like he wanted to murder them, but remained next to Ritsuka with his fist clenched. Ritsuka had a passive look on his face, which had truly concerned him. It was as though it was something Ritsuka was used to hearing. Soubi however had stepped forward, pulling his arm free from Ritsuka's hold. Kio had held Ritsuka firmly beside him even though he tried to tell Soubi not to do anything._

_One of the bulkier looking brutes stepped up and hit Soubi in the face. Then it all happened so fast Yaiyo barely kept up. In one moment he saw Soubi move, in the next all five of the guys were on the ground. Ritsuka had cried out and broken free of Kio's hold to run to Soubi._

_Soubi's tense stance relaxed as soon as he looked down at Ritsuka. Soubi offered a apologetic smile and then Kio and Yaiyo had shouted look out as one of them came up to stab Ritsuka, whose back was turned to one of them. Soubi had pulled Ritsuka back but not before the blade grazed Ritsuka's forearm._

_Soubi had then kicked the knife away and then kicked the guy right in the face knocking him out cold. Ritsuka was clutching his bleeding arm and Soubi turned to him. That guilty look Yaiyo had seen on several occasions was back and something snapped in Yaiyo's head._

_He came to understand why Ritsuka held no fear or contempt towards Soubi about his wounds. They were never inflicted from him, they happened completely out of his control. The guilty look was purely because he hadn't been able to prevent.  
_

*****End of Flashback*****

Yaiyo sighed and he gripped his phone in his hand. He'd come to have a lot of respect for Soubi after that. Ritsuka and he weren't the best of friends, but he'd come to admire his maturity, though he did have a very short temper. He'd also come to be able to see why Yuiko had become infatuated with him. He was a mystery, hard to read, far more intelligent than he let off, though naive about a lot of things, he wasn't entirely sure about what all he was naive about, and he had a kind heart.

He'd thought that for a long time and had seen the subtle sweet side to Ritsuka on numerous accusations. But he had seen the fierce, determined, and inner strength his friend possessed as well. He didn't give in to peer pressure, let others comments concern him at all, fought for his independence and his beliefs, and was adamant about being himself and never swaying to popular beliefs or society.

He'd become out of reach to both of them over the past two years and it deeply concerned him. Ritsuka was a good friend and he'd grown attached to him. He would worry about him if anything happened to him, and he couldn't help but feel concerned about what Ritsuka and Soubi were into or what it would entail for his best friend Yuiko.

She could be overbearingly naive and had a tendency to listen far too much to what others said. But she was kind hearted, and her sweetness and cheerfulness never went unnoticed or unappreciated. He'd sorely missed those qualities to her in the past few days. Though he no longer felt inclined to be in a relationship with her, it didn't mean he didn't still adore her and value her as a friend any less.

That of course made him think of Kio and how Soubi had tried to brush off the idea of him trying to call Kio. Kio answered his phone in the middle of the night . . . Yaiyo froze from heading to his bathroom as a chilling shudder passed through him leaving his pale, shaky, and feeling frightening feverish. He wasn't aware that he'd fallen to his knees or that the phone had fallen from his hands to the ground.

Yaiyo couldn't think, it felt fuzzy and hazed, his eyesight blurred. The only thing going through his mind was the earlier conversation and what his quick thinking had immediately led him to think.

_It was them that night . . .set my home on fire . . . killed Yuiko's parents . . ._

They'd killed before, what would stop them from doing it again. If they were willing to go to such lengths to get Ritsuka before, then there was nothing stopping them from doing so again.

Yaiyo thought of Kio and he felt his fear and his anxiety fuel him to get to his feet. He grabbed his phone and dressed quickly then headed out his bedroom door. He grabbed his father's car keys and silently walked out of the home. In his state, he hadn't noticed a dark shadow on the side of his home.

Soubi sat in the waiting room, his head in his hands, not really knowing what to do. He knew he couldn't risk leaving the hospital, he needed to know Ritsuka was going to be alright. He also couldn't risk Septimal Moon showing up and trying to take Ritsuka from the hospital. But his heart was heavy about Kio, Natsuo, and Youji. He knew from the last words he'd heard desperately rhasped as dying words from Kio that his best friend was dead.

They were efficient, they always were. His mind flashed to past memories and he shook his head trying not to think about the past. Right now, the present was enough, having the past pile on top of it would be too much to handle. He felt like crying, but he hadn't in so long he wasn't sure he knew how.

He felt as though the world was crashing around him and secretly wished he was as distant as he used to be. But once you opened that door, it was so hard to close it again. Ritsuka had pried it open through the years and put a door stop in it. He'd opened up his heart and brought to him emotions he never allowed himself to feel. He'd brought him to think for himself, no longer needing someone to tell him what to do with his life or controlling him. He no longer had the need and did what made him happy.

That entailed allowing himself to fall in love with his assigned charge and stay by his side out of that love. He'd also come to become closer to Ritsuka and Kio than he had even been to anyone in his life once he'd arrived at Septimal Moon. He wasn't completely new to dealing with emotions, especially such things as loss and worry. But it was knew to him as to what to do with those emotions, how to deal with them, how to express them. He only ever opened up around Kio and Ritsuka.

It had even been Ritsuka's persistence that he open up to his best friend that had led him to open up to him. But with the bonds he had with Kio and Ritsuka so strong, he didn't feel as though he could handle loosing them both at the same time. And losing either one of them hurt more than he could describe. Right now he didn't know if Ritsuka was going to be alright and he knew he'd lost Kio.

How was he supposed to handle that? Kio was his best friend, had been the only friend he'd had his entire life. He was a brother to him as well, after he'd gotten over his infatuation with him and accepted that Soubi was Ritsuka's lover. Soubi confided in him about things he wasn't sure he could express to Ritsuka. He also found himself turning to Kio about concerns and thoughts of Ritsuka he couldn't exactly say to him.

In the last four years, he'd grown to truly become best friends with Kio in more than Kio just bandaging his wounds when he couldn't and just hanging around him and watching him from the background. The two had come to poke and prod at one another, concern each other with their lives, share concerns, thoughts, how they felt, and just about everything about their lives. It had been refreshing to have someone to support him and confide in him, and in return he'd tried to do that same.

_You haven't told anyone everything Soubi, no one knows about the life you led before Septimal Moon._

Soubi hung his head and tightened his hands in his hair, _No one ever will if it can be helped._

_Why, is it really that bad?_ The question sounded much like Ritsuka's voice in his mind. Soubi looked up and stood upon realizing that it was Ritsuka's voice. He vaguely remembered that once the fighter and sacrifice were truly connected, they could communicate with one another using just their connection.

Ritsuka's voice came back, slightly stronger than the weak whisper from before. _Soubi? How is Kio?_

Soubi paled and trembled, he hated to hurt Ritsuka and knew from his weakened voice that he really needed to worry about himself. _Kitten, I don't know, I haven't been there yet._

_Oh, go then, I want to know if he's alright . . ._ Ritsuka's voice faded and Soubi felt a jolt of momentary panic, but he didn't feel the usual tear from the broken connection, so he sighed and calmed himself. In his frantic state he'd forgotten that the connection between the two would let him know if the worst should happen. He'd remembered it slightly from Seime, but it hadn't been quite as strong as he knew it'd be from Ritsuka . . .

He sat down to have the nurse enter the room again with another clipboard with her other one, two pens, and behind her two police officers. Soubi tensed and stood to greet them trying desparately to find a way to tell them what had happened. In his foggy state of mind it suddenly occurred to him that he could send the police to check on Kio.

He looked at them after they all introduced themselves. One was as tall as him but more muscular, the other no more than an inch taller than the nurse. They had black hair, pale skin, what Soubi would say was the typical Japanese male, well despite the height of one of them.

The taller one had addressed himself as Officer Yuy.

"Yuy-san, a friend of mine . . ." Soubi fought for the words, he knew his voice was still shaky. Plus he often hated the idea of asking for help or giving explanations. But he had to know, there was always that very slight hope that Kio was alive and well. Not to mention, he had a feeling that Yaiyo would go and check, since he'd called him. The police would keep Septimal Moon away from everyone, for long enough for him to do something about it at the least.

"Yes," he glanced at the nurse who mouthed 'Agatsuma' to him. "Agatsuma-san? You were talking about a friend."

"He called saying that he'd had someone lurking around his apartment."

The officer nodded, "Yes, was that why you were out so late. You were going to check on your friend?"

Soubi nodded curtly, _I can't stand talking to people who can't use simple logic. Yes, why wouldn't I if he'd said something like I told you. I did say he was my friend. _Soubi shoved his irritation down, but it did manage to provide him with a calmer and steadier voice.

"The conversation was cut off when there was a lot of violent noises and I heard yells. My . . . roommate and I were headed towards him to see him. Before we could think to do anything else, calling the authorities or call back to check on him. My roommate was shot and I rushed here . . . I . . . "

The officer nodded and gave a understanding, sad smile, Soubi suppressed the glare he wanted to give him at the pitying look he was receiving from the other officer and the nurse. The officer told him to sit down and then asked.

"His address?" Soubi quickly gave them his address, name, and number. Then Officer Yuy directed his partner, Soubi assumed, to contact the station and head to the address. The man left with a salute and a bow of his head as he formally said a quick, short farewell.

Officer Yuy then turned back to Soubi and he and the nurse took seats in the couch and chair across from him. Then Soubi relayed what the phone conversation entailed and what had happened. He left out his suspicions of Septimal Moon being involved and the incidents from before. But he did tell them that they had been followed to the hospital by a black car with two unidentifiable people in it that vaguely looked like the ones that had run off after shooting Ritsuka.

After that was finished and a few routine questions about his name, address, age, number and Ritsuka's information the nurse turned to him with the clipboards as the officer thanked him and left.

He filled out what he could and cursed himself for not knowing much of anything other than the general information a boyfriend should know. The nurse had quietly left and came back a few hours later to find him lost in thought. She'd informed him that she'd located Ritsuka's previous information and that the surgeon would be with him shortly.

It wasn't until twenty minutes later when she'd returned to inform him that Seime Aoyogi was there. As he walked into the room with a passive look on his face, Soubi felt the urge to slit his former sacrifice's throat. Anger, resentment, and an inner fear boiled inside him to top off the anxiety, worry, sadness, and the guilt he was already feeling. Soubi stood tensely and suddenly realized he'd found his reserve of restraint and closing off his emotions as Seime greeted him.

"Soubi-san, so how is my younger brother?"

"He'll be fine."

Seime smirked, "Of course he will. But you still failed to protect him countless times Soubi-san."

Soubi growled low in his throat at the suffocating guilt washing through him. He remained silent now, letting Seime continue on.

"You lost a battle that cost Ritsuka a lot of pain and allowed that school to take him and hurt him even further. Then you let him get injured enough to have to be hospitalized. You were always weak Soubi, never worthy of Ritsuka. You never will be, which is why I will be the one to take care of him now."

Soubi hissed, "The hell you will."

Seime smiled, "There is nothing you can do to stop me. With both of our parents dead Ritsuka is to be given to me. I have custody of him now Soubi and there's nothing you can do to change that. But since their is evidence that Ritsuka was living with you, I can arrange that you be persecuted if you continue to fight me."

Seime then turned and left the room, Soubi clenched his hands into fists, he knew Seime was right and he was powerless to stop him. Soubi walked over to the door and walked out of the room to be greeted by two police officers as the nurse from earlier lead Seime towards where Soubi knew was most likely Ritsuka's room.

One of the police officers addressed him, "Agatsuma-san, we need to ask you to leave the hospital."

Soubi took a deep breath and turned away from them, he couldn't start a war with the police, it would serve no purpose and rend him incapable of getting to Ritsuka ever again. He turned and headed back towards the hospital entrance the police officers following him. Soubi tensed when he saw the black car coming around towards him. He looked up at the sound of glass shattering and the police officers drew their guns and ran past him to look up at the room on the third floor where the glass had shattered.

Soubi felt his blood run cold at seeing Ritsuka appear in the window looking like he was ready to jump. Soubi acted on impulse, turning and running away from the building before turning around and running back to jump up and grab the low roof over the E.R. entrance. He pulled himself up and ran across the roof. He then managed to grab the ledge above him and pull himself on top of the two story building out front before making his way toward the ledge, using the window ledges to move across the building until he was one window to the left and under Ritsuka's window.

Ritsuka looked at him briefly before he let go of the window just as Seime reached out to stop him. Soubi caught Ritsuka's wrist and held him deseperately. Ritsuka looked up at him and smiled as he grabbed Soubi's arm with both hands. Soubi felt his heart pounding in his chest.

_Why did you have to do something like that, scaring the hell out of me?_

Ritsuka smirked, "Desperate times call for desperate measures. We have to get going before they get to them."

Soubi nodded and pulled Ritsuka up to grab onto the ledge. He could see blood through Ritsuka's clothes, he'd apparently been preparing to leave as soon as he woke up. It looked as though Seime had startled him and he didn't have any shoes on. Soubi managed to guide Ritsuka to the roof of the main building and then he helped Ritsuka down and onto the ground.

The police officers were there waiting for them, but before they could say or do anything someone opened fire on them once again. Soubi pulled Ritsuka to him and hit the ground making sure to keep Ritsuka from hitting the ground. The gunshots echoed around them and Ritsuka covered his ears to try and block out the noise. Once it stopped Soubi got up and pulled Ritsuka to his feet and they ran across the parking lot, Soubi guessed the police had moved his car. He saw it three rows down and they made a quick, crouched run to the car. Soubi found that the car was locked and he luckily still had his keys. _They must have just towed it._

He unlocked the door and hit the unlock button to let Ritsuka in. Ritsuka quickly got in with Soubi and they put on their seat belts. Soubi glanced at Ritsuka and the bloodied spot on his clothes as he started the car. Ritsuka glanced at him, his hand going to his stomach, "It looks worse than it is."

Soubi threw the car in reverse and pulled out of the parking spot then put the car in drive and slammed on the gas, his tires squealed behind him as he drove out of the parking lot. He glanced in his rear view mirror in time to see the black car making a U-turn and heading straight for them. The passenger pulled himself to sit on the door of the car, a gun in his hand.

"Duck," Soubi said as he pushed Ritsuka's head down. He had to crouch to see and avoid the shower of bullets that came over them as he headed for the freeway. He sped up, pushing his car to do at least ninety and zigzagged through the cars. The passenger had gotten back in the car and they were tailing them closely.

Soubi had let go of Ritsuka's head to drive and Ritsuka glanced back at the car, he wasn't able to see much considering it was night and his vision was swimming from his injury. He clutched his wound focusing on using the hypnotizing Soubi had taught him. He had to heal the wound or he was going to be a burden. Soubi placed his hand lightly over Ritsuka's causing Ritsuka to look at him.

"You shouldn't have pushed yourself with that injury."

"I'm fine."

"You're not a good liar Ritsuka."

"Shut up and drive Soubi."

Soubi smirked and moved his hand to lightly brush over Ritsuka's cheek. He focused on driving again and felt Ritsuka stiffen as the air around them suddenly became very cold. Soubi looked briefly at the sky to see snow falling, making the road slick. He kept his focus on the road and didn't dare to slow down with the car still following them. Ritsuka was feeling uneasy and more and more worried by the second but Soubi had to stay focused on the road so that they didn't crash.

They were pulling off the freeway and back towards Ritsuka's neighborhood. The streets and buildings were covered with snow, and they were forced to stop not being able to drive in the thick snow. Soubi got out of the car and Ritsuka followed. Soubi walked over to the trunk and opened it taking out a thick wool jacket for both of them. He also had a pair of shoes that would fit Ritsuka. The car tailing them had lost them when they pulled off the freeway, for now.

Once they were both ready Soubi grabbed Ritsuka's hand and led him towards the home where Yaiyo and Yuiko were. Ritsuka's uneasiness continued to grow with each step he took and it weighed heavily on Soubi's heart. The neighborhood was looking dead, like a wasteland, much like how it had looked when Ritsuka had described his dream to Soubi.

Ritsuka felt his stomach knotting and that didn't help his wound any at all, it only made his body protest in throbbing pain with every step. He knew his heart was pounding at his hand over the wound was feeling warm as the wound continued to bleed out. He was already feeling very light headed but he refused to not see this through, he had to know.

They stopped just before the walkway leading up to where Yaiyo lived, Ritsuka took a deep breath and tightened his hold on Soubi's hand. Soubi squeezed his hand back and looked at him, "Ritsuka I can . . . "

Ritsuka shook his head, "No, I have to know."

Soubi nodded, he hated that the feeling of uneasiness had set in him, telling him what they would probably find wouldn't be present. But he couldn't disobey Ritsuka, not now, not with him so determined and driven to know the fate of his friends. They stepped forward together, the building coming into view.

Ritsuka froze, his breath hitching, there from the tree, the very way he had seen Yaiyo in his dream, he made to rush forward, but Soubi held him in place. Ritsuka found it hard to breath, hard to think, the nightmare was coming true, right before his eyes. Ritsuka couldn't look away from his friend, couldn't block out the feeling of loss, of emptiness washing through him. That emptiness, the feeling of being one without love. Soubi squeezed his hand and the heartache rushed back through him, he would have given anything to feel that emptiness other than the suffocating realization that Yaiyo was in fact dead.

Soubi pulled him towards Yaiyo, but Ritsuka shook his head, "No, I know he's . . . let's go find Yuiko-chan."

Soubi looked at him and turned to head away from Yaiyo, Ritsuka glanced over his shoulder at Yaiyo once more before he was led away and towards the school. He looked at Soubi as they walked in silence towards the old school, walking to where Ritsuka was certain Yuiko was. They came up to the remains of the school, and Ritsuka pushed himself on, ignoring the pain pulsating through him, the pounding and clenching of his heart, the twisting feeling in his gut.

Even if Ritsuka knew in his mind that Yuiko was most likely already dead, he still had to see her to believe it. They made their way into the school, Soubi making sure to assist Ritsuka so as not to aggravate his injuries further. They made their way towards what hadn't fully caved in since their last visit, a single classroom on the first floor near where they entered.

Soubi pried open the door and Ritsuka stepped into the room. He stopped in the doorway to see a very much alive Yuiko being held with an arm twisted behind her back, a knife to her throat and tears streaming down her face as she whimpered helplessly.

Soubi put his hand on Ritsuka's shoulder before moving to stand in front of him and then take his hand in his with his arm behind his back. The person with the knife to Yuiko's throat was grinning evilly at them, it was none other than Jace. There was someone else standing a few feet to the side and behind Jace, their face shadowed by the black cloak they wore.

Jace pressed the knife into Yuiko's throat emitting a wine from her and Ritsuka clenched his fist in his shirt and made to shout out. Soubi squeezing his hand stopped him. Then Soubi addressed Jace, "Let the girl go."

Jace laughed, "I don't think so."

Ritsuka glared at Jace, "She has nothing to do with this, let her go."

Jace smirked and cut a small, thin line along Yuiko's colar bone, she turned her head away and clenched her eyes closed. She opened her eyes and looked at Soubi and Ritsuka, a small smile curling her lips.

"I'm so glad you're alright, Soubi-san, Ritsuka-kun."

She yelped when the blade was pressed down onto her colar bone making it bleed deeply. Ritsuka moved to step forward, but Soubi still held him in place.

"What is it you want in exchange for her life?"

Jace cackled, "Nothing, I would enjoy killing the girl too much to except anything."

The man stepped up next to Jace and spoke, his voice menacing, sending a strong chill down Ritsuka's spine only to result in a sharp pain shooting up his spine because of his injuries.

"In exchange for this girls life . . . "

The man looked directly at Ritsuka, even with his face covered with the cloak and the shadow of it Ritsuka could feel his gaze. It sent another chill through him, but he couldn't pull his eyes away from the man. Just him looking at him made his skin crawl, his blood run cold, and he also knew what the man wanted. He pulled his hand from Soubi's and stepped in front of him. Soubi put his hand on his shoulder and Ritsuka looked sharply at him, his violet eyes reddened in his anger, in his determination.

Soubi knew Ritsuka didn't have a choice, but he wasn't going to hand him over to someone so easily.

The man laughed, the laugh making a tremble run through Ritsuka. "That's it boy, you know exactly what it will cost to save her life."

Ritsuka looked sharply at the man, his eyes burning with his anger that these two, who had tried to kill him and Soubi, who were responsible for Yaiyo's death, responsible for Kio, Youji, and Natsuo and now they were threatening the last of his friends. Anger, this level of anger wasn't something he usually felt, he normally never felt the urge to kill anyone, to make them suffer and now it repulsed him to feel it. He took a deep breath and forced the anger down.

He looked at Jace, "Let her go, let her walk to Soubi as I walk to you."

Jace looked at the man beside him and he gave a small nod and Jace pulled the knife away from Yuiko and spun it with his fingers before he threw the knife at the door, it stuck in the doorframe next to Soubi's head. Soubi reached for Ritsuka again, but Ritsuka shook him off and said, "Don't try to stop me Soubi."

Soubi glared at Ritsuka, the order in his voice rooting him to the ground. Ritsuka took one step forward and Jace let Yuiko go and was shoved away from him. Yuiko looked up at Ritsuka, but Ritsuka was looking straight at the cloaked man. Yuiko got to her feet having been knocked to the ground. She walked forward and as she walked Ritsuka walked towards the two.

Each step Ritsuka took away from Soubi pulled at his heart, but because of the order he couldn't move from where he stood, couldn't step towards Ritsuka. Jace moved to grab Ritsuka when he was within reach but his partner held up his hand and Jace stayed still. Ritsuka looked at Jace, his violet eyes having the dangerous red tint that signaled the rising anger in him, the power he possessed as a fighter.

The cloaked man smirked, _He truly is the new generation of fighter, a strong sacrifice and powerful fighter. He could be either, but with the right training he could become a fighter even stronger that Ritsu-san's perfect fighter. What luck to have the two paired up together._

Yuiko was pulled to Soubi with a yelp and the gleam in Ritsuka's eyes returned to violet once more. Soubi turned on the ball of his foot pulling Yuiko into the hall with him. He held her against the wall and placed a finger over his lips to which she nodded.

He turned back into the room and the cloaked man growled and reached out for Ritsuka. Ritsuka smirked and jumped back far enough to stand within reach of Soubi. Soubi grabbed his hand and Ritsuka looked back at Jace. Jace snarled and Soubi glared at Jace, "Care to try to fight us once more?"

Jace made to step forward but the cloaked man put his hand on his shoulder and Jace stepped back. The cloaked man growled low in his throat and stepped in front of Jace, his glare felt through both Ritsuka and Soubi. He moved his hand up holding it in front of him and his lips moved but Soubi nor Ritsuka heard what he said. Then with a flash of light they were within the realm of the fighting sequence. It was a replica of what Ritsuka remembered from his first spell battle.

Ritsuka squeezed Soubi's hand and Soubi stepped in front of him again, Ritsuka focusing on his tall lover before his eyes shifted to their opponent, still cloaked. Soubi saw his lips move and held his hand out and said, "Defend."

The man said, "Denied, attack."

"Denied, defend," was Soubi's reply.

Ritsuka hiss when his wrists were seized from behind pulling him to the ground. Around his wrists weren't shackles, more like black tentacles that burned into his skin. Then in no more than a blink they became the shackles and chain connected to the ground, holding him down. Soubi glared at their opponent after looking at Ritsuka.

The man laughed once again, "What's the matter Loveless, too afraid to show your fighter your ability?"

Ritsuka pulled on the shackles, aggravated when they tightened around his wrists, his wounds were throbbing, blood sliding down his side. Ritsuka growled, clenching his eyes closed and concentrated on shattering the restraints. His hands were released and he immediately felt Soubi pulling him to his feet by grabbing his hands. Ritsuka stood next to Soubi and felt a change course through him, a sense of warmth, a sense of what was around him.

Then when the cloaked man spoke again he could hear it as if it was a whisper in his mind. He grabbed Soubi's hand and said softly, but firmly, "Repel."

A dome of just a blink of light formed around them as a power wave of energy came at them. Soubi looked at Ritsuka stunned and Ritsuka heard the whisper once more. "Denied, white as light, heaven strike out the abyss."

Soubi squeezed Ritsuka's hand trying to get his attention. But Ritsuka couldn't look at Soubi, he had to keep his concentration on their opponent, refusing to lose this battle, too much at stake. Ritsuka let the determination to save Yuiko, to stay at Soubi's side, to not become a tool driving him on, giving him the strength he needed to ignore Soubi's questioning, inquiring movements to call his attention.

He heard the whisper once more, this time louder, a whisper as though it was into his ear. "Curtain of darkness engulfed in flames."

Ritsuka felt a rush of cold air run straight through him with the next whisper, before it had even finished and he fell to the ground, the cold making his knees buckle, making his insides throb in protest. Soubi knelt down in front of him, "Ritsuka."

Ritsuka looked at Soubi, his eyes a brilliant violet red, a fiery look in his eyes. He blinked and they shifted back to violet and Soubi's piercing blue eyes darkened, a look of anger passing over his expression. Ritsuka would have been fearful of the anger, had he not seen the glare Soubi threw to their opponent, his cloak still over his face.

Ritsuka's gaze zeroed in on the man as his hand moved to the hood of the cloak and pulled it back, finally revealing his face. Ritsuka didn't recognize the man, his slight tan, his red hair, his cold, icy green eyes, those eyes were the coldest he'd ever seen. Ritsuka wasn't aware of it at the time, but as his eyes locked with those green eyes he got to his feet, and took a step towards him.

He felt entranced, his body moving towards his opponent without his consent, his mind in a fog rendering him unable to think, only to watch as he got closer. He heard a shout, but it was distant, not even understandable. Before he knew it he was standing directly in front of him, a wicked smile curling on the mans' face. Then everything came rushing back through him as an ice cold hand glamped onto his throat. Ritsuka's own hands shot up to grip the wrist of the hand holding him by the throat, picking him up by his throat until his legs dangled beneath him.

Now he heard Soubi yelling, a desperate tone in his voice, desperate and fearful, so much fear in his cry; "RITSUKA!!!"

The man smiled all the more and Ritsuka heard a sizzling sound and then felt a shocking, electric current as though he were being struck by lightning running through him, igniting his blood, his wounds, draining his strength as it ran through him two more times.

Ritsuka's hands fell from the man's wrist, his body going limp from the pain, the shock, the draining of his strength. The man released him and Ritsuka fell to his hands and knees his gasping letting him know that he couldn't breath. He looked up to see the man whispering something, and Ritsuka looked at Soubi to see him restrained and forced to his knees. Ritsuka jumped up, his desire to save Soubi driving him to his feet to try and get to him.

But the man caught him around the waist, all of Ritsuka's thrashing and struggling draining strength from him, but still he persisted despite the strain on his injured body. "Soubi, **SOUBI!!!**"

Soubi looked up at him, and the man cupped Ritsuka's mouth, his arm around Ritsuka's waist tightening and Ritsuka noticed where the man hand dug into his wound, sending a jolt of pain straight through him. A strong wave of dizziness swept through Ritsuka, but he stubbornly held onto his consciousness and twisted, trying desperately to get away. He was dropped to the ground suddenly, landing with a grunt and rolling away.

Then when he pushed himself to his hands and knees he was hit swiftly with a kick right to his wound forcing blood out of his throat. Ritsuka was then shoved with a foot to his shoulder onto his back and the man towered over him, a sneer on his face.

"Unless you wish for me to kill your useless fighter, I suggest you give in to your pain and rest. It will all be much quicker that way."

Ritsuka made to move and another kick to his side made a cry of pain pass through his lips. Ritsuka shook from the intensity of it, but he turned on the ground, this time grabbing the man's leg when he made to kick him again and pushing his leg back with all the strength he had.

Ritsuka then leapt to his feet, making another desperate attempt to get to Soubi. Soubi looked at him, wide eyed and tried to move only to be forcefully held in place a shock running through him through the restraints. Ritsuka was nearly within reach of Soubi who was trying his best to reach out to Ritsuka.

Then his ankle was grabbed and his feet were forced out from under him as he was pulled back violently. This time Ritsuka couldn't break the fall with his hand, not while reaching towards Soubi and his head struck the ground hard, knocking him out instantly.


	15. Ch 14: Pain of Loss

**Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless or any of the thumbnails used those belong to Kouga-san and their respective artists.**

_A/N: This is the last chapter to this prequel. The name of the continuance to this story is entitled Loveless or Not?_

_**Ever lasting is the pain of it  
Loss in many ways  
Loss of freedom  
Loss of choice  
Loss of belonging  
Of who you once were . . .**_

**Pain of Loss**

How long has it been since I have felt alive, hours, days, months, an eternity? The pain of being alive, of feeling an aching agony in my heart, twisting it mercilessly, was that all being alive ever really meant? Was that what brought about the feeling of existing? Now . . . I feel nothing . . . numbness . . . a black hole of loss . . . an abyss within me that is swallowing up who I once was . . . driving me mad with the lack of being able to feel nothing but loss, grief, devastation, and torturous physical pain that vaguely registers anymore. This . . . unreasonable need to cling to physical pain in order to remind me I am alive leaves me disgusted and disappointed with myself, controlled by the very ones that have driven me to this . . . My state of mind has changed already in such a short amount of time, am I really so weak as to allow such a change?

Ritsuka sat hunched in the chair where he was handcuffed and gagged. The metal of the cuffs around his wrist not really all that painful anymore even as they relentlessly bit into his wrists. The wound from being shot was a distant pain. Upon awaking, he didn't know where he was, how long he had been there, but one thing was for certain, Soubi wasn't there. He couldn't see him, even when a dim light entered the room as one of those that took pleasure in his pain entered the room from a door across from him. The room was a cell, damp, cold, a smell of mold and stench of many that had most likely died in this very room wafting over him, seeping into his skin.

He couldn't smell his own blood, couldn't really tell just where he hurt exactly, it was as though he had a wound beneath his skin, throbbing with the rhythm of his heart, with every breath, as the blood pumped through his veins. He didn't look up when the light came in front of him, refused to look up when a clicking sound was made with the person's tongue. He stubbornly tried to resist the hand gripping his chin and forcing him to look up.

He glared, his violet eyes had been tinged with red since his arrival and still burned rebelliously. He was backhanded, as always when he glared, but the glare remained on his face. Jace, the one standing before him, with the lantern in his hand, raised his hand to strike him again.

But the cold, indifferent voice behind him made him still his hand, "That's enough Jace."

Jace growled but stepped away with a nod and moved to stand off the to side of Ritsuka. The footsteps always echoed in the empty cell, well save the chair bolted to the floor with Ritsuka bound to it. His ankles had been shackled with the iron cuffs on the front legs of the chairs. When he'd first awoken he had fought, kicked, bit, whatever he could do to rebel. He wasn't above violence considering his situation, and the anger he had felt before, the anger that had slowly started to rise in him, was turning him away from his pacifist views every time the anger lingered.

Ritsuka didn't like the change in him, detested what he could do from the anger in him. He couldn't figure out why the anger invoked violent thoughts and actions. It was as though he was watching from the background as he fought, watching from the inside as his outer self did exactly what he never would have imagined himself doing. He would never find out why, not if he didn't live through this.

He couldn't search for Soubi, couldn't find the strength to call out to him, or the want to do so. His mind was jumbled, hazed with the loss of his friends, with what he had been through in little more than a week. Everything was falling apart, had fallen apart, he was Loveless and now he was stuck with the way destiny had played his life out to be. He had fought it, tried to stop it, but his efforts were in vain, everyone had still died in the end.

The reason he had lashed out upon first waking up is because Yuiko had been brought into the cell. He had been forced to watch them beat her, and then Jace had slit her throat, right in front of him. All the emotions and feelings of pain he had felt before had disappeared, leaving only anger, bitterness, an unrelenting desire to retaliate. But with the last few torture sessions he had lost the drive to retaliate. Only his angry glares served as a way to rebel.

He couldn't tell what wounds he had, but he'd been cut up with Jaces' favorite knife, whipped, beaten, and then it had been followed by confusing words and questions. He wondered what they planned to do today.

The man stopped in front of him and knelt down in front of him. Ah, words today, questions or more confusing words.

"Ritsuka-kun, will you concede to do as I ask today?"

Hmm, scratch that, torture today.

"No," came Ritsuka's scratchy, ragged reply.

The man sighed, Ritsuka still didn't know his name so he stuck with man or Ice. His green eyes were as cold as ice, his voice always cold and indifferent and his pressence empty, as though he didn't feel anything at all. There were times when he would smile, but it never meant anything good, times when he smirked meant cruelty, and Ritsuka had found the hollowness of the man catching, a good way to try and block everything out.

"Hm, well that is your choice. But I think I shall go with just talking to you today."

He looked at Jace, "Your pressence isn't required today."

Jace growled and with a bow of his head he left the room. Ritsuka cast his gaze back at what it had been on most of the time, his lap. Ice walked away, somewhere towards the door, but slightly to the left and Ritsuka heard something similar to a fold up chair scratch the floor. Then the footsteps approached him once again and the clang of the chair made his ears ring as it was set in front of him. He heard a shuffling noise as Ice sat down.

"Ritsuka-kun, you can't keep this up forever. You will have to either do as I ask of you, give up on your own pride, or give in to your anger. Your anger and pride will only cause you more pain. If you do as I ask of you then no one else will have to get hurt and things will be much easier on you. If you co-operate with me then I will hand you back to the school, but only if you swear to remain there."

Ritsuka lifted his head a little to look Ice in the eyes, he still felt the uneasiness, the chill, but it hardly effected him while he felt so numb and empty. "How long can you?"

The man chuckled, "Keep this up, well I rather like watching you suffer, it's entertaining for now since you still continue to rebel at times and are stubborn. But when I grow tired of you, then I will just kill you."

"Then just kill me."

"I can't do that yet, and truthfully I want to avoid killing you. I want you to make the choice to do as I say on your own."

Ritsuka scoffed, Like I actually have a choice in the matter. It's do as you wish or die from being tortured to death.

Ice continued, "If you concede to return to the school, the nurse can heal you and you will be handed over to your previous instructor. He may be pleased that you have developed a higher tolerance for pain. He may even go easier on you."

Ritsuka hung his head again with a sigh, "My answer is still no."

"Foolish child, Jace will end up killing you one day. He has less patience than I do and his is already running very thin."

"I don't care."

"As you wish, we shall discuss this another time. I will have water and food brought to you."

Ice stood and leaving the chair where it was left the cell. Ritsuka wasn't aware he had fallen asleep until he was jolted awake when the door opened and footsteps approached him. This time it was a woman, in her early twenties, carrying a tray with soup and water. She set the tray on the chair and knelt down in front of him.

Ritsuka looked up to see the pale woman, her long red hair tied back in a braid, her jade green eyes comforting to see compared to the eyes of Jace or Ice. The only thing Ritsuka knew about her was that she and her fighter, her boyfriend were being held here against their will. She wore a long sleeved, black, V-neck shirt with worn blue jeans and a pair of black boots. She had a scar on her left cheek, diagonally running from under her eye to just under her ear.

"Ritsuka-kun, time to get something in you."

Ritsuka nodded slightly, her voice was comforting, soothing to listen to. He wanted to trust her, to look to her as a friend, but he couldn't risk that happening with what had happened to all those around him, all those he had cared for. She was the only one that showed him any amount of kindness within this prison of a place, always the one to come in with his meals. Though she couldn't tend to his wounds, she was kind enough to feed him, kind enough to talk to him as though he were alive, as though he was more than just a tool or some sort of prized toy to only be used for others benefits. It was comforting in a way, but he did his best to try and block out the warmth her pressence brought to him, because that warmth also brought with it the feelings that threatened to swallow him, to break him, to devastate him. He feared breaking, had come to detest his weakness, his emotions, his lack of power to do anything to stop what had happened to his friends, what could have happened to Soubi, which he still didn't know. He shoved those thoughts away and focused on her, trying desperately to avoid his pessimistic and depressing line of thought that had become influenced from his time held as a prisoner.

She picked up the bowl of soup and the spoon and held it in front of him, dipping the spoon into the bowl and holding it up to him. He took a moment before he allowed her to feed it to him. Once he finished the soup she gave him the water to drink, making sure he drank all of it. She then set the tray on the ground and sat in the chair.

"Do you have any idea how long you have been here Ritsuka-kun?"

He shook his head as much as he was able and she nodded, "Most don't. It isn't until they finally get out of here that they notice, I mean out of the cells."

"Where," Ritsuka cleared his throat, grateful the water had soothed the scratchiness to it and the water had soothed the dryness to his throat and mouth. "Where exactly is this place, what really?"

She smiled gently, though the smile wasn't fond, more as if she was happy he was speaking to her. "This place is underground, beneath Tokyo. I couldn't tell you where exactly. But what, well this place is a school or sorts, like the Seven Moons, only it has this basement here, where you are."

"Why are you down here?"

"Hmm, well my fighter is within one of the cells, a punishment for fighting one of the teachers. This is where the truly demented teachers are located. Seven Moons is much more . . . leniant I guess than this place. We, my fighter and I, have been here for well over six years now. We were brought here when we were fifteen. My fighter, he is a lot like you, refusing to meet their demands, refusing to give in to their torture. He rebels against everything any chance he gets. He's strong, as are you, but I don't want to see you suffer like he did."

The sincerity in her voice almost made warmth rise up in him, but the pain of losing his friends and everyone he held dear threatened to follow it so he shoved it back down. "So I should just give in, do as they wish and stop rebelling."

"It would save you a lot of suffering."

"When everything is lost to you, the only suffering left is to die and that would be a blessing."

"How do you know everything is lost to you?"

"Can you prove to me otherwise?"

"I can say that you are the first sacrifice to be brought here without their fighter."

"Who said I was a sacrifice?"

"As though Loveless isn't known even here. I know why they have an interest in you. In the time you have been here, they have already begun to change who I heard you to be. You have a cold look in your eyes, and an angry one, one that promising violence. That is not who you are."

"How would you know, you know nothing more than my name."

"I know more than you think I do. I'm not condemned to this hell for no reason."

Unless you can read my mind, I highly doubt you know anything about me.

"I can read your mind, so I do know a few things about you. Even if you don't acknowledge me as a friend, I acknowledge you as such. I don't blame you for being so guarded. Losing your parents, betrayed by your brother, losing your friends, even the adults you knew and considered friends, not knowing if your fighter, your lover, is still alive. That is a very just reason to not trust anyone, to not want to get close. And that your main thought and concern is what may befall those who get close to you only proves your selflessness. Instead of thinking of your own suffering you think of the suffering those around you indured and guard yourself against getting close to anyone in hopes you can save anyone else from the same fate."

"However, it is not your fault that those around you died, that blame is cast to those who killed them, not you. Even if the power to save someone's life is within our abilities, the power to know of all the possibilities leading to their death is not. We cannot save everyone, we can't predict what will happen, or how twisted and vile the person seeking to take anothers life is, regardless of their reason. We're human, that is something that we all have to understand, no one is indestructible, no one is immortal."

"They would still be alive if they had never met me."

"They would have missed out on the pleasure of knowing someone like you. Plus, even if they are gone now, I'm sure that they did not blame you for their deaths."

"That, I highly doubt, they were aware of the danger of knowing me towards the end . . . "

"And they still resigned to remain your friend, they truly valued your friendship. So in turn, you should value the time you did have with them. Don't beat yourself up over losing them but cherish the time you had with them. Cherish the good memories you shared with them."

Ritsuka remained silent for a while and he looked to the young woman when she moved to kneel before him. She didn't touch him, but her hands rested on her lap and and she met his eyes, "Ritsuka-kun, don't give up. Don't let them destroy you or who you are."

"It's getting too late for that . . . " he said with a weak voice. She frowned and sighed, "Then agree to go to the school so you can keep what's left of who you are."

"Who I once was is already dead."

She closed her eyes and got to her feet, "I'm sorry to hear that."

She grabbed the tray and dishes and stood with her back facing him. "You've been here for more than just a few days or weeks you know. I've been here for years, they've been trying to break you for just short of a year now. Take their offer to go to the academy, it's ten times better there than it will ever be here, especially if you stay here."

Ritsuka looked up at her, "What's your name?"

She looked over her shoulder at him, her smile once again threatening to force emotions to rise up in him, feeling him with a vaguely noticed warmth. "My friends call me Angel."

Ritsuka almost felt a smile curl his lips, but he gave a curt nod, "It's suiting."

"Thank you Ritsuka-kun."

Ritsuka lowered his head and she walked back over to him, this time lightly touching his chin. He lifted his head up and blinked when she kissed his forehead. She pulled back with that heart warming, gentle smile on her face, "You're sweet Ritsuka-kun."

"Could you give me a name, one that wasn't addressed to who I once was?"

She caressed his cheek making him notice the dried blood from a cut on his cheek at the same time. She pulled her hand away, "Ritsuka."

He glared and she laughed, this time the warmth stayed in his heart, "You don't need a different name to change who you are if that's what you wish to do. You just have to do so. But if I may, who do you wish to become?"

Ritsuka looked past her, his gaze fixed on the door as he said with a conviction in his tone, "I want to become someone that doesn't have to depend on others. I don't want others to die or sacrifice, or go through pain for me."

She nodded, "That can be a good thing, but try to remember to allow others to help you and don't lose yourself entirely."

When she walked out of the room Ritsuka stared at the door for a long time thinking on what she'd said. He resigned that he would go back to the school, he couldn't sense Soubi here and he refused to believe him dead without solid proof. He was going to go to the school, and this time he was going to finish this Fighter training and he would never again be a helpless victim to their games.

He was never going to let them take the lives of his friends, his family, just to get to him, just because it would hurt him. He knew it was his fault, that if had given in to their demands sooner that everyone would be alive. Even if he'd resigned to never let himself be controlled and a victim again, he was aware of what their ideal of strength would cost them, and he would pay it, no matter what. In the end, he wasn't going to be the one standing in the background unable to do anything or save anyone.

Yuiko, he had to watch them kill her, watch them kill her right in front of him. They'd beaten her and in the end slit her throat. Yaiyo, he'd been too late to save Yaiyo. He and Soubi had been too late to save Kio, Natsuo, and Youji, they hadn't even been able to say goodbye to them, to see them that one more time that would prove to them they were really dead, that they'd truly failed in saving them. They had to accept it in their own minds, and Ritsuka found that was harder than anything. He hadn't been able to say proper farewells, attend funerals, anything, he could only honor his lost loved ones within his own mind and heart.

He would never forget them, no matter what, he refused to forget them. He wouldn't forget all the good times he had been lucky enough to share with them. But he couldn't forget how they had died, why they had died. He hung his head, his eyes were already closed. Angel, her name was fitting for her, but it was ironic really. She'd stirred the emotions within him he'd fought to keep down, he had tried to keep the pain that twisted inside of him from rising up in his throat and breaking his heart.

For the first time since he'd been there he felt the burning in his eyes, the tears moving swiftly down his cheeks and a painful sounding sob, even to himself left his throat. The dam broke, the tears falling from his eyes with each sob, and he shook with the effort of his crying, trying and failing to reign it all back in.

Angel stood with her hands folded behind her back leaned against the door. She would stand guard to his door for as long as he needed. She smiled sadly, It's good that he's crying, he needs to release all that pent up loss. Trying to hold in the pain of losing everything, everyone is never something anyone should keep locked up inside them. Even as it breaks my heart to hear his sobs and know he is hurting and crying, it's the only way for him to begin to move on.

She stood there for the better part of four hours and when she could no longer hear his crying she opened the door to see him slumped in the chair asleep, exhausted from crying. She quietly walked back into the cell and knelt before him, her hand on his knee jolting him awake.

She smiled sadly at him and then she embraced him the best that she could, being mindful of his injuries. She held him for a few moments and when she pulled back she held her hands on his shoulders, "Ritsuka, pull yourself together and please go to the academy."

He nodded and sniffed, she moved her hands to wipe away the tears that left streaks down his face and smiled, "Good. Don't ever let yourself lose the ability to feel, even if it hurts. That, is something you can never let them take from you."

He nodded and said softly, his voice raspier than before, "Arigato Angel."

"You're welcome, Ritsuka-kun."

She stood up and turned to leave, as she closed the cell door behind her she knew in her heart that she would never see him again. That was something bittersweet to her, bitter because she had grown to care for him and sweet because she was happy that he would be getting out of the hell he was in while he was here. She tensed and gather the tray and dishes when Jace and his master of sorts came walking down the hallway.

Jace sneered at her and Angel bowed her head and headed towards the kitchen having to walk past them to do so. Jace's master nodded to her, "Good work Angel."

She closed her eyes and bowed her head sadly, "Arigato," she whispered with twisting guilt in her gut then continued on her way.


End file.
